Finding out that your teenager has started dating is probably one of the most heart-wrenching things a parent can experience. You still see him or her as your baby, but they are growing up. Having feelings for someone is a normal part of life. Natasha Thomas, a mother to a teenage daughter, knows that experience all too well.
“I feel like it’s a natural process, but you’re not necessarily ready for it,” Thomas told 21Ninety.
Shameka Ward, who has a son, shares similar sentiment to Thomas.
“There’s no particular age that they should start dating,” Ward said. “You just have to make sure that they are mature enough to handle situations and heartbreaks.”
These moms discuss the rules they implement and tough conversations they have with their teenagers about the realities of dating.
Enforce Dating Rules for Teenagers
Let your teenager know that even though they are allowed to date, it comes with limits.
“I want to make sure that [my daughter] is dating someone age-appropriate,” Thomas said.
Spending time at each other’s homes or going on dates are ok, as long as responsible adults are present.
“When she has company here, they can’t be over past a certain time,” Thomas said.
Talk to the Other Parents
Both Thomas and Ward agree that a conversation should be had with the other teen’s parents. Make sure that you are comfortable with the child’s family, since your child may be spending time with them.
“You’re not allowed to go to a guy’s house unless there is supervision, I’ve met the parents and we have a mutual understanding,” Thomas explained.
Have “The Talk”
It may be uncomfortable to discuss, but make sure to have a conversation about the birds and the bees.
“From a religious aspect, I tell my daughter that she should be in a committed marriage before having sex,” Thomas said.
The reality, though, is that sometimes teenagers don’t wait. Always stress the importance of using protection against sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.
“Protection is important but being on birth control is not a pass to do it,” Thomas said.
Both mothers encourage their children to abstain from sex as long as possible. Ward says she also stresses the importance of consent to her son.
“I tell him to always make sure that he has the consent of the other person,” Ward said. “Don’t force yourself onto anyone.”
The moms say you should also talk to your kids about falling into the traps of peer pressure. Let them know that just because their friends are doing it, doesn’t mean that they should too.
Limit Gifts
In their young relationships, your child may want to give their boyfriend or girlfriend a gift. Ward and Thomas agree that giving and receiving gifts at a young age should be minimal.
“I feel like gift giving at a young age brings a level of commitment as if they are in this serious committed relationship,” Thomas said. “Small gifts, maybe for a birthday, are ok.”
Encourage Honest Communication
It’s important to make sure that your teenagers know he or she can go to you about anything, no matter how hard it may be for you to hear. If a child ends up in an unfortunate situation like a breakup or something more serious, this helps them feel confident enough to tell their parents. It helps if you avoid easily getting upset with them.
“Keep an open mind so your kids will be willing to be open with you,” Ward said.
Echoing Ward’s sentiments, Thomas reminds her fellow parents that their children are human too.
“They are humans just like us and will make mistakes along the way,” Thomas said. “Let them know that they can trust you.”
The post Your Teenager Wants to Date? Here’s How to Handle It appeared first on 21Ninety .
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