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Believe it or not, Oprah Winfrey turned 70 on January 29. A bout of stomach flu knocked her out of an appearance on CBS Mornings earlier this summer, with best friend Gayle King filling in for her. All of which should remind us not to take Oprah for granted, although she seems like a superwoman. From humble beginnings, she rose through the broadcasting industry to breakthrough fame as the host of the Oprah Winfrey Show , which ran from 1986-2011. She parlayed her fame into acting and producing, starting Harpo Productions, the OWN network, and O, The Oprah Magazine, and has written 10 bestselling books. Today she is the only female African-American billionaire, with a net worth of $3 billion. All of which means she's a lady who has things to say that people very much want to hear.
Of all her quote-worthy quotes, we've scoured the Internet at sources like BrainyQuote to assemble 10 that seem particularly apropos to people entering middle age. If you're grappling with what it means to be a 40-something, let Oprah give you some reassurance and helpful challenges.
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- Oprah has a great deal of practical wisdom for people in all life situations.
- People in their 40s often go through times of soul-searching as they realize they are aging and want to make sure they are on track to fulfilling their dreams.
- Oprah's advice is typically empowering: helping her fans find the confidence and strength to overcome feelings of inadequacy and take charge of shaping their own lives.
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Why You Need Oprah in Your 40s
As we reach our 40s, the reality of aging starts to set in. Although we're in the prime of our lives and maybe even haven't reached the halfway point yet, we still very much have a sense that time is passing. We want to make sure we're on track to achieving our dreams and not just treading water. We might also feel we have fewer choices and options than we did when we were younger. We might be locked in to relationships, careers, and responsibilities that we wish we didn't have.
Oprah is one of the most popular media personalities for a reason. Somehow, she manages to make millions of people feel like they're her best friend. And like a good friend, she is able to encourage, inspire, and empower, while still speaking tough truth and challenging us to get up off our butts and help ourselves. Check out the quotes we've curated for you coming up and see for yourself.
1. Know Your Worth
- “When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are.”
Notice the word choice in this quote: when you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are. What you do and who you are are not the same thing. You could have a job you don't like that doesn't really suit your giftedness and interests, but that doesn't mean that you are intrinsically not a worthy person. But notice that if you do not value what you do, the world will undervalue who you are as a human being.
Takeaway: Even if you hate your current job or situation, focus on something you can learn from it and see it as a stepping stone to better things.
2. Wounds Into Wisdom
- “Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
Whether your wounds are physical or emotional, you can learn from them. Oprah herself went through sexual abuse as a child—a horrific, soul-crushing experience that leaves lifelong emotional scars. But Oprah grew and recovered and used her experience to turn herself into the empathetic person she is for people with all sorts of problems and trauma, including sexual abuse.
Takeaway: Some traumas are truly devastating. Perhaps with time, you can develop a perspective that says, "That was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me and I did not deserve that. But I survived it and now I will make it serve my purposes."
3. Build or Burn Bridges?
- “One of the hardest things in life to learn is which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn.”
Whether in your career, relationships, or general thought processes about your life, not every bridge is one you should cross. An example is Oprah's 35-year romantic interest in Stedman Graham. While many people think they should have married long ago, they made the choice not to cross that bridge. These decisions are highly personal. No matter how confusing it might be to those on the outside, Oprah and Stedman are confident enough in themselves to do what they choose without bowing to social pressure.
Takeaway: If you keep returning to a toxic relationship or brooding over past experiences, burn that bridge and move on. If you see an opportunity that promises growth in a healthy direction, cross it and see where it leads.
4. Keep Good Company
- “Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher.”
Oprah has a lot of friends, but undoubtedly Gayle King is her best one. The two are so inseparable it's led to rumors that they have a romantic relationship, something they deny. It's unfortunate that society has such narrow paradigms that we have trouble understanding a close platonic friendship between people of the same sex. But Oprah and Gayle complement one another and help each other achieve greater success than either would have on their own.
Takeaway: A healthy friendship shouldn't just be one-way. Learn how to set boundaries in codependent relationships and bring healthy people into your life. And if you're the perpetually needy one, invest in therapy rather than using your friends as amateur counselors.
5. True Forgiveness
- “True forgiveness is when you can say, 'Thank you for that experience.'”
It's hard to imagine expressing gratitude, even just mentally, for a person or situation that caused you and those you love grievous harm. Perhaps another way to look at this idea is that you aren't glad the event itself happened, but you recognize it was part of a journey that led to later, better experiences and formed you into the wonderful person you are today.
Takeaway: The next time you feel bitterness about a person or event in your past, remind yourself of some of the positive things that happened in your life later, even if they seem unconnected. Can you come to peace with what happened by imagining that these good things might not exist for you otherwise?
6. Letting Go of the Past
- “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”
Is it just us, or do you, too, by your 40s have quite a bit of baggage to work through? That's why we've included another Oprah quote on forgiveness because it's so, so good! We like to think of ourselves as having choices and being in control, but in fact we only have some control over the present moment. We have zero control over the past or the future. So, factually, the past cannot be any different, no matter how much we wish it could. No amount of fantasizing about alternative scenarios will change it.
Takeaway: Remind yourself that wishing the past was different is just the same as feeling anxious about the future. Neither of these moves you forward. What would happen if you focused your energy and imagination on the present instead?
7. Alone Time
- "Alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own."
Sometimes it's not helpful to categorize ourselves into "introverts" and "extroverts." Whether you get energized or drained by social interaction, all of us as people need some interaction as well as some time alone. It may come easier to some than others, but all of us can learn to be still a little more and listen to our own voice. You might find you're wiser than you think.
Takeaway: Let go of any preconceived ideas of what your alone time is "supposed" to be like. Yes, you can read, journal, meditate, or take a quiet walk if that's what helps you get in touch with yourself. You can also bang some drums, pummel a punching bag, or sing 80's tunes while you're riding your motorcycle. It's all you.
8. Paint the Canvas of Life
- "With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice."
Oprah's thought here is a good reminder that often it is not the events of our lives that make us feel joyful or miserable, but it's how we choose to react to them. Constant change is part of the essence of life. Sometimes those changes may interfere with the original painting we had planned. We have a choice of how to react to those changes, how to express them in the canvas of our life. What colors will you choose to paint your life experiences with?
Takeaway: Remember you have at least three choices of how to interpret unexpected things in life, and how to talk about them to others:
- This is so unfair. I am disappointed, sad, and angry. Things like this always happen to me.
- This knocks me off track for the moment, but I can fix it and get my plans back on line.
- Wow. Ok. This could open up a lot of new possibilities, so it's time for a new plan.
The Bottom Line
Your life is yours. Don't be a spectator, reacting to things other people do to you and following their roadmap for you. Figure out what you want and take steps to go that direction. And if it doesn't work out, make adjustments and go in another direction you like. Whatever happens, enjoy this journey of life that is uniquely yours.
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