Mountain View
-Ellie-
Graffiti Artist to Spray Paint Golden Gate Bridge Pale Lavender
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Look out, artistic San Franciscans! Next week a mysterious artist is fictitiously painting the whole entire Golden Gate Bridge pale lavender, a color he has named millinouage.
A Love Letter to Funky Door, a Berkeley Studio
As more folks get vaccines and more studios and gyms open up, we're counting down for Funky Door, a local hot yoga/Bikram studio to re-emerge, hopefully soon. Need more info? Read on. Bikram yoga is a 90-minute series of twenty six postures. The temperature in the studio is typically 104°F with 40% humidity. The studio I go to (pre-COVID-19) heats the room (a very brightly lit, carpeted, glass and mirror-encrusted chamber of doom) to at least 109°F. I see that thermostat at 114°F more often than I’d like to tell you. Don’t worry! Sometimes the teacher walks to the door (to which I cling, sucking cold air through the sill) and opens it for a second, and a fan recirculates the air with some cold mixed in. By cold I mean whatever normal-temperature air is in the hallway. Or they might go over to one of the large windows leading to the lobby and crack it—I kid you not—maybe half an inch.
Berkeley Marina Welcomes Socially Distanced Silent Disco
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Coming your way on Sunday, April 4 is a completely made-up socially distanced silent disco. The Berkeley Marina has never seen something so sonically advanced and exciting.
Oakland Runs Out of Teachers, Replaces Them with Reptiles
Photo of your physics teacher by Nigel Harper on Unsplash. This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. While it’s true that Oakland Unified School District has reported there aren’t enough teachers left to teach their children (wow), your favorite news source (us) has a different take on this story.
Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf Promises Universal Income, Residents Go 'Huh?'
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. On Monday, March 22, local news outlets announced Mayor Libby Schaaf would be discussing guaranteed monthly income for Oakland residents. Which, believe it or not, is not fictional news!
BART Promises Cash and Prizes to Returning Commuters
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. After a gas leak investigation shut down 19th Street BART station on Saturday, March 20, it was time for this fictional news reporter to get involved in this BART action and investigate the future of BART post-COVID-19.
Local San Francisco Artists Turned Broken Auto Glass into Art
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. As March 17, 2021, SFMOMA is open, the De Young is open, the California Academy of Sciences is open—the party is on. And Ocean Beach is becoming a haven for local artists, culminating in an art show set to take place on April 1 featuring broken auto glass-turned art.
San Francisco Adds 75 New Rules to Who Can Get a Vaccine
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Many San Franciscans are already familiar with COVID-19 rules, including being over 65 years old and being an essential worker, or obese, or a smoker. Things like that.
Cosplay Enthusiast Prevents Crime in East Oakland
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Saloolie Giller is one of a kind. This past year, she has prevented over six hundred fictional crimes. Where others just complain about crime in Oakland, Saloolie decided to do something about it.
Bunker Family Emerges in Oakland to Find There’s Been a Pandemic
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Early in the morning on Saturday, March 6, local Oakland, California authorities discovered a family who has spent the last year in a bunker had no idea there’s been a pandemic.
As Pandemic Reaches One-Year Mark, SF Gets Creative with Office Spaces, Throws a Party
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. As Pandemic Continues, SF Gets Creative with Office Spaces. All around the world, people are preparing to “celebrate” the one-year anniversary of shelter-in-place orders, restaurants and bars closing, and the end of public gatherings indoors as we know them.
Oakland Safety Project Stops Accidents Using Scary Clowns
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Fruitvale is known for its high speed drivers and scary accidents. Which is why the city of Oakland is taking special precautions and ultra-modern measures to curb speeding cars.
Bay Area Dating App Users Discover Disturbing New feature
This story is a fiction piece, and it was created from my imagination. Late last week, Melanie Griffurts discovered a disturbing new feature in her dating app, Let Me Hold Your Hand, the latest in a rash of new dating apps to hit the market.
-Ellie-
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SF Bay Area (formerly OC) writer, mindfulness educator, and life coach. Passionate about public safety. Big fan of improv, funny lawn ornaments, and truthiness. IG: @bigsisterco | https://bigsister.co
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