Free Lunches, Free Education, and Free PR: Whitmer's FY25 Budget Delivers... More of the Same

Photo byOffice of the Michigan Governor

In a stunningly predictable move, Governor Gretchen Whitmer has signed a $23 billion education budget for fiscal year 2025, promising Michigan families the moon and stars—or at least free school meals and tuition-free community college. The press release trumpets this as a "historic" budget, though for those keeping track, it's just the latest in a series of "record investments" under Whitmer's administration. This year, the sixth consecutive one with a new high in classroom funding, the governor seems to be hitting repeat on her favorite tune: more spending, more promises, and plenty of self-congratulation.

The "Every Family Gets a Free Lunch" Initiative

The highlights of this budget read like a greatest hits compilation of campaign promises: free pre-K, universally free breakfast and lunch, and tuition-free community college for every high school graduate. Whitmer's message to parents is clear: if you were worried about your child's education costing you anything, you can relax—your tax dollars have got it covered. After all, what's a little more spending among friends when the state can just keep writing checks?

Politicians' Favorite Pastime: Spending Your Money

Lieutenant Governor Garlin Gilchrist II chimed in with his usual enthusiasm, celebrating the budget as a victory for "every Michigan family." According to Gilchrist, this financial windfall will lower barriers and ensure every child gets the chance to eat free, learn free, and—presumably—graduate free of any burdensome educational debts. Meanwhile, state Sen. Sarah Anthony hailed the bipartisan effort as a triumph of collaboration, proving that when it comes to spending other people's money, Democrats and Republicans can find common ground.

Uplifting Students, One Dollar at a Time

State Rep. Angela Witwer was practically glowing with pride, claiming that this budget "uplifts our students every step of the way." It's a heartwarming sentiment, even if it's a bit hard to swallow that throwing more money at the problem is the panacea for all educational woes. State Sen. Darrin Camilleri echoed these sentiments, stressing the budget's role in building a "stronger society." Because, as we all know, nothing builds a compassionate, thoughtful society like a government that promises to cover every conceivable educational expense.

Equitable Funding: Because Every Kid Deserves the Same Free Stuff

Of course, the real winners here are the politicians who get to bask in the glow of all this public investment. State Rep. Regina Weiss emphasized the equitable nature of the funding, which apparently ensures that every child, no matter their ZIP code, gets an education where their "dreams can be ignited." It's a touching thought, if only the flames of inspiration could be kindled by dollars alone.

The Michigan Guarantee: Free Everything, Courtesy of the Taxpayers

As if this weren't enough, State Budget Director Jen Flood assures us that this budget is "laser-focused" on saving families money. And nothing says savings like ensuring students get free breakfast and lunch at school, cutting the cost of a four-year degree by more than $25,000. Because if the state isn't spending your money directly on your kids, are you even parenting?

Free Tuition, Free Meals, Free... Everything?

The real magic, however, lies in the "Michigan Guarantee" and the array of programs under it, such as the Michigan Reconnect and the North American Indian Tuition Waiver. These initiatives promise to open the doors of higher education wider than ever before, providing pathways for adult learners and marginalized communities. It's a noble goal, one that seems to ignore the fact that even free tuition can't solve the deeper issues of educational inequality and systemic underfunding.

A Bright Future (Of More Spending)

As we celebrate this new era of free education, free meals, and free-wheeling spending, let's not forget to thank our tireless leaders for their unwavering commitment to making sure Michigan's children—and their parents—are given everything they never asked for. After all, what could be better than a government that believes it knows best, from your child's lunch tray to their college degree? So here's to the FY25 education budget: a truly historic monument to more of the same.