I’m not going back, either.

Photo byPhoto by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I felt it coming. It was another one of those existential questionings that occur at regular intervals. I feel empty. Demotivated. Not where I should be. As if I was missing out on something much bigger. As if I was running beside what my life could be.

I had set a goal for November. Working 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, and sometimes a couple of hours more on weekends. I felt a little too idle compared to what most people seemed to be doing. So I tried. I spent my days working for my freelance clients, writing on Medium, and building a newsletter and a new website.

It didn’t go too badly. I managed to complete those 6 hours a day. I felt productive. I felt like an accomplished adult being. It seems that I was lying to myself, if I believe what I felt at the end of that month.

I had the feeling that my life consisted only of work.

I have a problem with that. I know I do. It doesn’t seem to bother the whole planet to spend most of its waking time sitting behind a desk, staring at a screen. Except I can’t. This kind of schedule has always made me feel horrible, ever since my first internships. This rhythm of life seems hopelessly meaningless to me. A waste of precious time. Except that I still have to earn a living. It’s an eternal contradiction.

It leads to many questions. Why can’t I do it when everyone else can? What’s wrong with me? That’s why I decided that November would be another one of my 1-month experiments: I worked full time, waiting to see what it would change.

At the end of the month, I sat down and took stock of this trial. I didn’t feel good anymore. I didn’t feel fulfilled at all. I felt like I was making myself busy for most of the hours when the “meaningful” work was really over after 2 hours of work in the morning. And the most ridiculous part: I worked a lot more but earned less than the other months.

In December, I did the opposite experiment.

Sitting on the couch, practicing my specialty, i.e questioning the meaning of life, I decided to experiment with the opposite: December was going to be an idle month. The last month of the year, with all its festive gatherings, seemed ideal for this. I would focus on my main outputs only and use my free time for myself, putting it into everything that didn’t seem like a waste of time. This could range from surfing all afternoon, taking a nap, writing free of productivity goals, reading, or having lunch or coffee with my grandmother. An endless range of possibilities.

I would wake up, sip a cup of coffee, and hit “Publish” on Medium before tackling my deadlines on my freelance assignments. Then I’d close my laptop and call it a day. Usually just before noon. Sometimes as early as 10 am.

December was the most lucrative month of my life. I worked between 1.5 and 4 hours a day, and I earned three times as much as I did in November. Of course, the number of hours worked is not the only factor: as a self-employed worker, it is common for the months to fluctuate.

But still: I won’t go back to a month like November. Unless I have to.

Here’s what happened…

In November, I had fallen into the W4W trap — read “work for work”. It’s a concept developed by Tim Ferriss in “The 4-Hour Workweek”, explaining that to fit into the 8-hour workday pattern, most people simply fill their time with tasks that they create for themselves, but that don’t add anything to the final bill. For example, this is what I did with my newsletter and website. I spent many afternoons there, and in the end it made no difference at all. These two elements did not bring anything to my business. It was like stirring the wind. These were just ways of filling in the hours to get to 5:00 p.m.

In December, I re-evaluated what my meaningful tasks were, the ones that are really rewarding (and that I’m passionate about). There are essentially two of them: writing here on Medium, and my freelance gigs. That’s what earns me money at the end of the day.

I’ve called everything else useless. Developing my Twitter or Instagram accounts is extremely time-consuming, and the return on investment is so minimal that it’s not worth it. At least for me. The same goes for my website or newsletter. It doesn’t put any food on my plate, whereas writing blog posts with my heart every day while honoring my commitments with my freelance clients do.

When I refocused on significant outputs, the benefits were multiple. I cut out all the “useless” work. So I had much more attention, time, and mental energy to devote to truly rewarding (and enjoyable) work. I multiplied my focus on these activities, and thus multiplied my income since those are the outputs that earn money. At the same time, I had more free time to live and recharge my batteries, which allowed me to be more focused and enthusiastic while relieving me of a lot of stress. I therefore produced a much more qualitative work. And quality is an extremely powerful factor.

I worked less, but I worked better. That’s why it worked.

Final Thoughts

I’m very surprised at the result myself. I am almost ashamed to have earned so much with so few hours of work. But it’s a real joy to have more time to be more efficient, without all the burden of productivity and schedules. When you think about it, working a certain number of hours a day is completely arbitrary and detached from the very essence of being human: the fluctuation and irregularity in energy, mood, and concentration. Reconnecting with all this has made me much more fulfilled in my work.

If I were to give a few tips to help you achieve equivalent results, here’s what it would be:

• It’s often a good sign to realize that you’re not following the crowd, even though it can be scary. I have come to think that people do the same as others because they don’t know better and don’t have the courage to create their own lives. It is much easier to be a follower than a leader for one’s own life. So it’s fine if you don’t fit in. Just find your own way. A way that suits you.
• Take all the junk out of your working hours. You already know what contributes significantly to the overall equation, and what doesn’t. Delete whatever doesn’t contribute to it. If in doubt, experiment with it for a month: do it as if it adds something, and evaluate after 30 days. If it adds something, keep it. If it doesn’t, throw it away. Simple. Be extremely selective about what you spend your precious time and energy on.
• Now that you have less to do, focus entirely on the few things that remain, and give it your best. Fewer things to do = more time to focus on them = less stress + better quality. It’s a virtuous circle.
• Use your free time to finally live for real. Remember: initially we work to earn a living. If you spend that life just earned by working, it’s like the snake biting its tail. Don’t fill your hours with unnecessary tasks just to pretend. Do your day’s work, then go live. You won’t be here forever.

Having free time to work on your goals and to accomplish yourself without diminishing your quality of life is an incredible feeling of freedom and self-sufficiency. Give it a try!