Deciding to get married to your partner is usually an indication that you value your relationship and feel very much in love, but staying with just one person can be quite challenging if you keep looking around.
And if you no longer remember the reasons that made you choose them and keep trying to be with other people too, can you really say you're still excited about your wedding? Is there any place left for trust when a relationship is affected by several times of one partner cheating? My Sarah has been dating her boyfriend Dan for three years. They met at a party in Dallas and danced together the whole evening. They also exchanged phone numbers, and he texted her the following morning.
"It was so exciting. We kind of connected from the first time we saw each other. I liked him a lot, and he was great to be with. And he wasn't boring and cautious like all my previous boyfriends," Sarah said.
They went on a date one week after they met and kept going out at least three times every week in Dallas while planning trips together too.
"We went everywhere together. He met mom and dad, and I also visited his parents. They were all pleased about our relationship; we were the same age, and no one had anything to criticize. I was happy since my parents didn't like any of my other boyfriends," Sarah said.
Time went by, and the couple moved in together once six months passed after their first date. They didn't argue while sharing the same apartment, but they did have issues with house chores that got forgotten or not doing the dishes on time.
Even so, they found a way to adjust and slowly got to a point where they were comfortable with each other. As it turns out, being comfortable wasn't what Sarah was looking for.
"Ever since we had our apartment in Dallas, it was like the excitement was gone. We were behaving like an older couple who made their grocery list and cooked and watched TV. It was getting boring, and I wondered if maybe I'd made a mistake," Sarah said.
She didn't tell her boyfriend anything about it, but as she reconsidered her choice, she agreed to go out with a coworker. She stayed with him that night and, the following morning told Dan she was helping a friend who was going through a divorce.
"I didn't want to be in a relationship with that man. I had a boyfriend already. It was just out of boredom. There was no need to upset Dan," Sarah said.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the only time it happened. She left that man, but she also got together with five different others as the months passed.
In the meantime, Dan proposed to her, and she agreed to be his wife. They set their wedding date in one year, and both their families got involved in the planning and sorting out of the guest list.
The future bride didn't forget about the affairs, though. Sarah never went out with any of the men more than a few times, but she just couldn't decide to only be with Dan. And he eventually found out.
"His friends saw me having dinner in Dallas with some of them, and I also realized one of his cousins was in the same place where I went dancing at one time," Sarah said.
She didn't try to deny anything. Instead, she admitted she'd been searching for something new, but she also pointed out she still loved Dan and valued their relationship. He had a hard time believing her precisely because she only told him what took place after other people let him know.
"I looked around a bit; I still want to get married and have kids. How can I make him trust me again? I am sorry because he's upset, but none of that meant anything to me. And I want a nice home. I didn't really think about it," Sarah said.
Dan isn't sure he wants to go ahead with their engagement. He asked Sarah for some time to think things through and reconsider their relationship, and he went to stay with a friend in Dallas. Sarah keeps texting him, but she hasn't gotten any replies so far.
What do you think about this situation? Is it fair for Sarah to expect Dan to still want her to be his wife even though she had six affairs? Is it enough for her to say they didn't mean anything and that she only loves her fiance?
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