"I found texts on her phone; she's dating someone else; do I tell my dad?"

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Having a positive relationship with your parents as you grow up can get challenging when you're a teen, but sometimes you can be in a difficult position because you've seen something and you don't know what you should do about it.

Should kids let one of their parents know if they have good reason to think the other one is having an affair?

Is it better if they stay out of it because it could damage their relationship for years to come if they're the ones who tell everything?

My friend Alicia, who lives in Phoenix, Arizona, is in her second year of high school. She lives with her parents, Sandra and Jonas, and they've been married for 22 years.

During this time, Alicia was always happy to tell her friends how close her parents' relationship was, the way they like to find little gifts and surprise each other with short trips. To her, they had the ideal relationship, and she used to look up to them when considering who to date.

Unfortunately, things have changed a lot during the last two months, and Alicia isn't sure if her mom and dad are still in love. The issues began when her mom asked her to check if she had any delivery notifications on her phone while she was cooking.

"I went and looked at her messages. There was nothing about the face creams she was expecting, but I suddenly noticed a name I didn't know in the list with her conversations. Frank wasn't someone I knew, and I got to meet all her coworkers, and I know who our family friends are. I opened the conversation out of curiosity," Alicia said.

As it turns out, that conversation was full of compliments and different times to meet for dates. Alicia also noticed the man mentioned different presents he had given to her mom, and he kept saying how much he cared about her and that he wanted to be together all the time.

"That wasn't just a friendly conversation. There was a lot more to it. I just scrolled through because she was going to get done with dinner any minute, but what I saw didn't sound good at all," Alicia said.

She thought maybe she was mistaken and let a few days pass. After that, she looked at her mom's phone again. The conversation had continued since the day she first saw it.

And two more dates had taken place in Phoenix. The restaurants Frank mentioned were not places Alicia's family went to, but she searched for them and found out where they were.

"I was beginning to feel sure this was an affair. And my dad didn't know anything about it. Mom was behaving like usual, and there was nothing to make you think anything was different. But then, that man kept writing to her, and it was obvious there were meeting at least three times a week," Alicia said.

The teen isn't sure if she should go straight to her dad and let him know what's going on or if it's better to talk to her mom and ask her if this might end so her dad doesn't get upset.

"I found texts on her phone; she's dating someone else; do I tell my dad? The problem is if I let mom know, she'll probably delete the conversation, and it will look like I'm lying. I don't know if I should get involved in this. I don't want to be the one to end my parents' relationship. But it's hard to think of my dad doing everything he can for mom while she's also seeing someone on the side," Alicia said.

She talked about it with her friends, and they advised her to let her dad know as soon as possible. In the meantime, Alicia checked her mom's phone again and found out about a date before it took place in Phoenix. She went there and saw them together, and there's no doubt her mom and Frank are behaving like a couple and are in a relationship.

Next week, it's her dad's birthday, and Alicia doesn't want to ruin things for him just yet. She thinks she should wait a few more weeks in case her mom ends her relationship with the other man, but she's not feeling very hopeful that will happen.

What do you think about this situation? Should Alicia tell her dad immediately about her mom's affair, or is it ok to wait until after his birthday so he doesn't get upset on that day? Should Alicia avoid interfering in the parents' relationship because her mom might resent her, or does her dad have a right to know what's going on and decide if he wants to stay married to Sandra or not?