Things I Wish I Knew As A First-Time Mother

Photo byJenna NormanonUnsplash

For many women, the dream of motherhood is a lifelong aspiration. It's a transformative moment that reshapes your entire life and perspective. Suddenly, you find yourself noticing things in the world that you never paid attention to before. Your familiar environment shifts, and you become the guardian of a tiny human, while still caring for yourself.

Photo byYuris AlhumaydyonUnsplash

Little did I know my pre-existing depression would be exacerbated by post-partum depression after giving birth. It was a challenging time, but I was fortunate to recognize the symptoms and reach out to my OB. I will always be grateful for her care and support during this challenging period.

I wish that I had known about mom guilt. Raising a child is difficult regardless of if you have been around children your whole life. Whenever something out of my control happens, I feel guilty that I couldn't do better. I feel guilty almost 24/7 because my husband does so much, and due to some injuries I'm currently trying to work through, it feels like I cannot pull my weight in helping with the household. My husband doesn't hold it against me, but rather, he is supportive of my recovery. I do what I can, and that's all he asks. I also work full-time to help financially support our household.

No one told me how quickly my baby would turn into a toddler and how much his personality would grow, not with each year but every single day. My son has helped me to want to constantly be a better person, not just for myself and my husband but for our son. He is my biggest motivation. It's hard to believe he was born when the world shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

I wish I had known how much I was going to want my mother and sister in the delivery room with me the day that my son was born. However, due to living in different states and the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, they couldn't be there with me on the best and most significant day of my life. I get upset from time to time when I think about it.

I wish I knew how much formula, diapers, and wipes would cost me and my husband. Those items are so expensive. Wipes are convenient to have around, even in the toddler years. The newborn stage is much easier than the toddler stage, which my sister warned me about since she has three kiddos.

I wish that I had known that my recovery experience was going to be so different than my sister's. I had to do my research and carefully listen to my doctors because I had to have an emergency C-section to save my and my son's lives. My mom and sister didn't have a lot of advice for me because they never had to go through having to be in the operating room to have a baby. Not even my in-laws were able to help in the traditional sense because none of them went through having a C-Section. They all did their best to help my husband and me when our son was born. I will always be grateful to my in-laws for their help once we come home from the hospital. That is true when they say it takes a village to raise a child. I love my village and will always be eternally grateful for them.

Another thing that no one warned me about was that fathers deal with postpartum depression just like mothers do. It is not the same as fathers coping with it in their own way. Seeing my husband struggle with post-partum depression was difficult because I wasn't sure how I could help him. It wasn't until he sat down, told me how he was feeling, and asked me to sit and listen to him. I never realized how much I truly needed my husband and to realize that we really are a team until our son was born.

My husband is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. He has stood by my side since the day we met. I will forever be grateful to him and can never thank him enough for all of his love and support. Our journey through parenthood has been a life changer. Watching my little family go through life with each passing milestone my son hits, makes my heart swell with joy and pride.