Mom channels grief into advocacy for safe online spaces

Atlantan Sharon Winkler spent 25 years serving her country in the Navy, but nothing prepared her for the personal war she now wages.

Her son, Alex, died by suicide when he was 17 after turning to social media for empathy and advice following a breakup with his girlfriend. Instead of finding comfort, he encountered meanness — anonymous jabs saying he was ugly and would never find love.

Credit: Phil Skinner

Winkler knew Alex had been distraught, much like his older brother had been after a breakup. However, she didn’t realize the depth of Alex’s pain until she read his suicide note, which spoke of the cruelty he’d encountered on the internet. “Then, it was too late,” she said.

Since Alex’s death in 2017, Winkler has joined forces with other grieving parents to lead the charge in reforming online safety standards to prevent similar tragedies. These parents are advocating for stricter regulations on social media platforms to protect users from cyberbullying and harassment, aiming to transform the internet into a place of support rather than suffering.

Their top priority now is for Congress to pass the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA), a bill backed by 68 members of the U.S. Senate and about 200 parent groups and other organizations. It is opposed by social media website owners, and others who question its constitutionality oppose it. A similar bill was introduced in 2022 but failed to gain traction.

If passed, the current KOSA, among other things, requires online platforms to provide opportunities for minors to turn off algorithms so they are not being sent memes/posts that they do not want. The bill has cleared committee in the U.S. Senate and was awaiting a full Senate vote in mid-June. A similar bill, with 28 co-sponsors, is pending in the House.

Winkler got involved in the suicide loss community about a year after Alex’s death. She realized that many of the grieving parents felt as she did – that online activities had played a part in their child’s mental state.

She’s since become fully vested in the issue. She is part of a new education campaign called Parents SOS, which stands for Parents for Safe Online Spaces. The organization is comprised largely of parents who blame social media, at least in part, for the death of their child. She’s also working with two other nonprofits: Fairplay, which wants to end marketing to children, and David’s Legacy Foundation, which seeks to eliminate cyber and other bullying.

Credit: Phil Skinner

“Part of the reason I started my advocacy was that I was the person who really thought technology was good,” Winkler said.

She worked extensively on the Internet when she helped develop medical healthcare record systems for the Navy and Defense Department. She even met her second husband online.

“I believed the hype,” Winkler said. “It was just shocking to me how fast things went downhill.”

Winkler has traveled twice to Washington, D.C., to advocate for passage of KOSA, even attending the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing in which the CEOS of the major social media platforms, including Meta, TikTok, Discord and Snap, were grilled and harshly criticized. Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., told Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg: “You have blood on your hands. Zuckerberg responded by apologizing to parents in the audience who had lost children “for everything you’ve all gone through.”

Winkler called Zuckerberg’s response “appalling.”

Despite the pain and challenges, Winkler remains steadfast in her mission. “I am just horrified by all the horrible things that happen to children. The more you study it, the more you realize somebody has to do something.,” she said.

Winkler carries on for Alex, whom she describes as “a great kid” active in Boy Scouts, theater and band.

“He was sweet, smart, sensitive, and had a really great sense of humor,” she says. “I fight for him and for all the kids who need a safer, kinder online world.”

MORE DETAILS

Learn more about Parents for Safe Online Spaces at Parents for Safe Online Spaces — Advocating for Online Harm Prevention at parentssos.org .

Learn more about Fairplay at fairplayforkids.org .

Read the bill Winkler wants to see passed at congress.gov . It is S.1409 - 118th Congress (2023-2024): Kids Online Safety Act .

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