The moment Mike Francesa dips his toe into the pop culture pond, you’re usually in for a treat. There was the time that the “Sports Pope” ranted about Harambe (RIP) and the Cincinnati Zoo. And there was the time that upon learning of Stan Lee’s passing, Francesa offered up a mere, “Oh, who cares?”
With Francesa no longer gracing WFAN’s airwaves, we’ve been robbed of callers asking him about “Hawk Tuah.” And there’s a good chance Francesa would’ve been asked about Jason Giambi and Hawk Tuah or something about the New York Giants and San Francisco Giants meeting up for some Hawk Tuah. There’s endless possibilities, but those would-be prank callers might be better off helping an old lady cross the street, as Francesa would say.
WFAN already waded in those waters, with Sal Licata offering his colorful thoughts . And in case you worried about whether Francesa would weigh in on Haliey Welch or not — fear not — he ranted about the viral star who became a sensation overnight after an interview saw her describe her signature move in bed, which undoubtedly took the internet by storm.
But just because Tim Healey can’t write about it in Newsday , there’s no stopping Francesa from being, well, Francesa.
“Here’s the thing, before I get to what I deemed the worst Mets loss of the year, I know nothing about this — and I’m gonna call her a young lady, and I know she’s in her 15 minutes of fame,” Francesa began. “She just struck a chord and went viral with some sleazy answer to a man on the street question. The question I have is, knowing that that’s the case that her fleeting — and it will be fleeting fame — was about something as suggestive as her answer was, what in the world would possess the Mets to bring her in to throw out the first ball? And on top of it, on Camp Day.
“So, everybody is trying to explain to every 10 and 12 and 13-year-old in the stands…The game went so long that basically they had to pitch tents or they had to leave in the fifth inning because they have to be out of there, and the busses start up at 3 o’clock, 3:30, so they have to get them back. And that game was so slow, they were in the fourth inning at that point, because both teams were walking the ballpark and playing awful baseball. But we’ll get to that.
“You’ve heard me say on numerous occasions, and it has continued through the ownership change, that the Mets can screw up a one-car funeral. What would ever possess somebody? I would think that person spent last night not answering the phone and today running for cover or cleaning out their desk, whoever came up with the idea. Whoever in the marketing or promotional department who decided that was a good idea to bring this girl in and, glorify her and, shine the spotlight on her, and let her throw out the first pitch. Which got them utterly destroyed from coast to coast.
“You know, I’ve always stated this, that the worst thing I hated was when something was so obvious to go after that it was like a hanging piñata; you took a bat, and you hit it. You like to take the position that someone else doesn’t have or, the position that is unique, or the position that is clever. You don’t want the easy one. But this one is just — this is the kind of shake your head one, where you just say, ‘What the hell are they thinking?’ And, can you imagine when the owner (Steve Cohen) is explaining to his wife who this girl is that’s throwing out the first pitch? Unless it was her idea, which I’m not saying it was, but who knows? I have no idea where it came from.
“Alright, I have no answer for that. Some things with the Mets…You have to realize at this point after all these years around the sport, there are things about the Mets that are not able to be answered. They just are. And yesterday was another one of those days that just is, where you just shake your head and say, ‘It’s the Mets.'”
To Welch’s credit, she seemed to handle the criticism in stride and offered an explanation as to why she would be throwing out the first pitch at Citi Field in the first place.
We’re not sure if that answer suffices enough for Francesa, though.
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