ESPN stars argue over gender

After Tua Tagovailoa suffered the third diagnosed concussion of his NFL career — and fourth in the last five years — the natural conversation many are having is whether the Miami Dolphins quarterback should consider retirement. That includes on ESPN’s First Take , where Stephen A. Smith and Elle Duncan had an exchange regarding the role that gender plays when it comes to somebody’s willingness to sacrifice for his or her family.

“Molly [Qerim] and Elle, I can say this: As men, our mentality a lot of the time is different,” Smith said. “You’re willing to put it all on the line to secure the well being of your family in perpetuity, even in the event you’re not around.”

Smith expounded: “There are sacrifices that I make as a father all the time. I’m not around my daughters as much as I would like to be. I’m not with my family as much as I would like to be. Sometimes they resent it and what have you. I don’t care. And you know why I don’t care? Because I grew up starving. And as a result of that, anything that I do to ensure the well being of my family moving forward, even in the event that I’m not around — as selfish as that may be — I’m willing to do it because I knew what it was like to grow up with nothing. These football players make those decisions every single day as men. Provide, protect. That’s our number one priority. That’s how most of us think. And that plays a role in the kind of decisions that men make.”

While there’s obviously a big difference in the risks of being a concussion-prone quarterback and being a TV personality, the comparison Smith was making was clear.

Duncan, however, took exception to the ESPN star seemingly limiting that sacrifice mindset to just men.

“As someone who is a woman who has two scars that go from hip to hip because I’ve had two C-sections in an effort to provide for my family and create a family for my family, I understand sacrifice,” Duncan said. “A Black woman in this country, whose mortality rates are incredibly high, I understand making sacrifices and trying to mitigate risk when it comes to your family, expanding your family and protecting your family.

“All I am simply imploring is that anyone in Tua’s corner, someone that truly believes and loves Tua, is having a real conversation with him right now about what quality of life looks like. We all face an existential crisis at some point in our lives.”

Duncan then turned her attention to Ryan Clark, who had been in agreement with Smith’s point.

“You host a podcast called The Pivot and all of us at some point have got to make a turn from the thing that we were defined by for our entire lives,” she said. “I’m hoping someone in that family, someone in his corner that truly loves him is asking him to sit down and think long and hard about whether he wants to keep doing this.”

“But I know risk,” she emphasized.

“You’re right,” Smith concurred. “No disagreement here.”

Considering the nuanced nature of the conversation surrounding Tagovailoa, Smith’s comparison wasn’t invalid; his decision to limit it to the mindset of men was just outdated. Even putting the obvious sacrifices that Duncan referenced aside, 66 percent of families with children are dual-income . It’s a safe bet that many of the women in such households are every bit as motivated to provide for their families as men are, to say nothing of the other sacrifices that many women make while raising families.

The men-only aspect of Smith’s analogy appeared to irk Duncan, who immediately provided a strong counter before tying it back to the larger conversation surrounding Tagovailoa. It appeared to be a point well taken by Smith and a great example of why it’s important to have diversity in perspectives when discussing such sensitive topics.

[ First Take ]

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