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Axios DC
D.C. is seeing more divorces and custody battles over politics
By Mimi Montgomery,
2024-07-29
Political and ideological differences are increasingly playing a role in Washington divorces and custody battles, D.C.-area lawyers tell Axios.
Why it matters: Politics is no longer relegated to discussions about taxes or policy. It's become much more about identity and values, permeating American life — including marriages and parenting.
And with partisan divides and animosity growing, it's affecting relationships.
The big picture: This comes amid a tumultuous election year that's seen an assassination attempt on former President Trump and President Biden dropping out of the race following intense pressure from party members, donors, and allies.
What they're saying: This is the first time in local lawyer Cheryl New 's more than 35-year career that she's seen political and ideological differences factor into so many divorces.
"[It's no longer] 'Who do you want for president?' It branches into many other areas of how you have to relate to your spouse," says New — think whether to send children to public or private schools or how to support your child should they identify as LGBTQ+.
Such ideological polarization started to play a role in divorces during Covid, when issues such as masking, vaccinations, and social distancing became politicized, DMV attorney Jessica Markham tells Axios.
And in the years since, it's only gotten worse.
In many of these cases, one party is perceived to become more extreme in their political beliefs.
For example: New is representing a liberal woman who married a man she thought was a moderate Republican. But over time he started becoming more right-wing and taking positions such as not acknowledging the Jan. 6 insurrection.
Their increasingly opposing views have crept into every aspect of their lives. "Whether it's the children, whether it's what they're going to have for dinner," New says.
These kinds of divides are also playing a big role in DMV custody battles, and some clients are even going back to court to modify existing custody agreements because they think the other parent's views have become too extreme, Markham says.
Zoom in: In some of Markham's cases, a parent's social media posts — such as those including "anti-immigrant" and "extreme pro-gun" stances and "fake news and conspiracy theories" — have been used as evidence that they're perhaps not fit to have custody.
She also has a case in which one parent was going to so many protests and rallies that the other parent felt they'd abandoned the family.
The intrigue: The lawyers Axios spoke with have seen men and women show up across both ideological ends.
And this isn't something targeting just Hill staffers or political wonks, the attorneys add — it's affecting people of all stripes.
Yes, but: Lawyers say many of these folks already had preexisting communication issues or differences in their marriages, and these political divides were the tipping point.
"There were many straws before, but the camel was still hanging in there [before politics factored in]," says New.
Reality check: Divorce rates have actually trended downward in recent years — while marriage rates have upped.
What we're watching: It's possible tensions are especially heightened in relationships right now because we're in an election year, attorneys tell Axios.
But some lawyers say they think these kinds of cases will be around for a while. "As long as the country itself is in this position, I don't see why it wouldn't be magnified at a more micro level and impact people's marriages," says area lawyer Maria Simon .
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