Taste Test: Chicken Big Mac is gluttony in a box. And I don't mean that as a compliment

OK, this has to stop.

McDonald's has introduced the Chicken Big Mac, and just saying it out loud sounds like an abomination of nature. I mean, technically, probably a lot of what they sell in fast-food restaurants does. But for the purposes of this discussion we will assume that anyone who has bothered to read to this point is a veteran of the drive-thru.

Which means that you know that these two things do not belong together. What's next, the McRib McFlurry? There is the Bic Mac, and there is the chicken sandwich — preferably a Spicy McChicken, though McNuggets with a combo of ketchup and Buffalo sauce will do in a pinch — and never the twain shall meet.

Or so I thought.

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The Chicken Big Mac is gluttony in a box

Then I tried one. And it was not awful. It also was not great. But it is wholly unnecessary.

It is a perfectly regular example of gluttony in a box, much like the Double Big Mac . Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate some industrial-strength gluttony. One of my brothers ate 29 pancakes in one sitting (my sister had the girl's record with 19). But that was an achievement. This is supposed to be a treat.

What it really is, of course, is another shot fired in the so-called chicken wars between fast-food restaurants. You've got your KFC fans, your Chick-fil-A fans, your Popeyes fans. I've got no dog in this fight, or chicken in this coop, as the case may be — though as I say, I'm a big fan of the Spicy McChicken, in part because they rarely skimp on the mayonnaise. (I know, I know.) Any new wrinkle could mean getting an edge.

The Chicken Big Mac does not seem like it's going to strike a decisive blow. It doesn't taste like it, either.

So let's get to it. What does it actually taste like?

How does the Chicken Big Mac taste?

Like all McDonald's specialty sandwiches, the Chicken Big Mac comes in a box — a Big Mac box. Maybe this is because of the limited-time aspect. Whatever the case, it's big. Really big. The chicken patties, of which there are two, are fried in tempura batter, and they are substantial.

If you know the Big Mac song — two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame-seed bun — you may think you know what's on it, but you would be wrong. There are no onions, so even the song doesn't work. (Although I guess the chicken substitution took care of that.)

Not to sound like a desperate politician in my sourcing here, but a lot of people are saying that the chicken tastes like a couple of giant McNuggets. This isn't inaccurate, not exactly. The problem I have with it is that the sauce, and there was a lot on mine, overpowers the chicken in a way it doesn't with the beef. The chicken doesn't make a strong impression one way or the other.

Which is unfortunate in a sandwich called a Chicken Big Mac.

And of course, no matter what protein you stick between the buns, any Big Mac fights an uphill battle because of all that bread. There are three pieces of it, and it soaks up a lot of the flavor. That third piece is like some kind of taste-sucking sponge.

It is, of course, a lot. A whole lot. According to McDonald's, the Chicken Big Mac contains 530 calories, 20 grams of fat, 4.2 grams of saturated fat and — this is the part where I began to weep — 61 grams of carbohydrates. It is filling in the way that I would imagine swallowing a ship's anchor would be.

But it's new. It's different. It's attracting attention (see this story, for instance).

And I'll never eat another one.

McDonald's Double Big Mac returned. So, obviously, we did a taste test. Here's how it went

Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com . Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm . X: @goodyk . Subscribe to the weekly movies newsletter .

This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Taste Test: Chicken Big Mac is gluttony in a box. And I don't mean that as a compliment