What does it mean to "get your pink back" postpartum?

Having a baby understandably comes with some changes. You’re suddenly caring for a little one, and you’re likely going through some physical and emotional adjustments, too. Lately, many moms have been opening up on social media about when they feel “normal” again after having a baby, and many have used the phrase “getting your pink back” to describe the feeling.

The social media movement was first coined by TikTok influencer Lindsey Gurk and it has inspired a lot of moms on social media to share what the term means to them.

Here’s the thing: Having a child is a life-altering experience, and it’s important to recognize that. “You’re not the same person that you were before having kids – you’re an even better version of yourself,” says Tamar Gur, M.D., Ph.D., a psychiatrist and women’s health expert at the Ohio State University. You might never be the exact version of yourself that you were before you got pregnant, but it’s also okay to want to feel somewhat normal at some point after giving birth , says Gur.

But what does getting your pink back mean, and how can you actually do this? Here’s the deal.

What does getting your pink back mean?

As Gurk explained in one post , flamingo moms spend so much energy caring for their babies that they often lose their signature pink color. But as their children get older, those flamingo parents can turn pink again. Gurk then took that phrase and applied it to human moms, explaining that getting your pink back is about feeling more like yourself after having a baby .

Several moms in the BabyCenter Community say they can relate. “I feel like I'm not myself since becoming a mom,” says one mom “I love being a mom very much and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I also miss going out with friends, dressing up, and spending quality time with my husband.”

But getting your pink back can mean something different for everyone. “Most commonly, a sense of being back to normal means that you have more feelings of control and predictability over your body and your life,” says Sipra Laddha, M.D. , an Atlanta-based perinatal psychiatrist, member of the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board , and founder of LunaJoy Health.

From a physical perspective, getting your pink back may mean getting your previous strength and energy levels back, or working on your pelvic floor recovery, says Meleen Chuang, M.D ., clinical associate professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Family Health Centers at NYU Langone. “I remind my patients to acknowledge that the body has undergone significant changes, and your definition of ‘normal’ may change as well,” she says.

How long does it take to get your pink back post baby?

It’s tricky to say exactly when you can expect to get your pink back since everyone is different.

“This is highly variable,” says Laddha. “Some women will deliver and within a few days feel ‘back to normal’ and for some people this can take months – or years. The most important thing is understanding where you are physically and emotionally, and being gentle with yourself and the process.”

From a physical perspective, “you might begin to see glimmers of feeling like yourself again within the first few weeks postpartum,” says Chuang. But some moms, including Gur, say that it’s unlikely you'll really start to feel like yourself again until your baby – and you – are sleeping through the night consistently. “I don’t know anyone who feels like themselves if they’re waking up every two to three hours,” she says. “That can take a year in some cases.”

6 tips for getting your pink back

Getting your pink back isn’t necessarily within your control, and Gur says it’s more than okay to just allow yourself to embrace where you’re at in this moment. After all, it takes time to really feel like you again.

Some women will deliver and within a few days feel ‘back to normal’ and for some people this can take months – or years. The most important thing is understanding where you are physically and emotionally, and being gentle with yourself and the process. - Sipra Laddha, M.D., perinatal psychiatrist and BabyCenter Medical Advisor

But if you want to proactively take some steps to feel more like yourself, there are some things you can try, says Laddha. "They may be more challenging with a baby in tow, but they can help you regain a sense of control in your own life and a semblance of ‘normal.'" And remember: As you go along, you'll figure out what makes you feel more like yourself, and it may change as you go.

• Squeeze in some physical activity . Exercise is good for both your mental and physical health. Listen to what your body needs and make sure you're cleared by your doctor first, says Laddha. "Then, taking a short walk around the block is a good first step," she adds. Many BabyCenter moms turn to yoga and pilates to start, since those movements are gentle and can help you ease back into your exercise routine, too. Just be sure to stay hydrated and be gentle on your body, says Laddha.
• Lean into a hobby you used to have . Getting back to one of your beloved hobbies that can give you a little time to focus on you – and get back to something you've missed. That could mean reading a book for a few minutes before bed, running, or crafting, Gur says. “It’s really important to continue to do things that make you uniquely you,” she adds. “That’s where you can draw your energy.” If it's hard to find the time to carve out for yourself, try asking your partner for some help – switch off morning duty so one of you can read while you drink your coffee each day.
• Shower and put on something that makes you feel good . It’s easy to live in athleisure when you’re in the thick of raising a little one, but Gur points out that it’s “hard to feel good about yourself if you’ve been wearing the same clothes for three days.” She recommends making a point to try to shower whenever you have childcare help, and get dressed in something that makes you feel confident one or two days a week.
• Stay connected with loved ones. That first year bubble – while amazing for all the cute snuggles you're getting – can also feel isolating. “Surround yourself with friends, family, or support groups who understand your experiences as a new mom,” says Chuang. Book a dinner with friends one night after you get your baby down to bed, or meet a friend at the farmer's market on Saturday while your partner stays home with your kids.
• Set boundaries – and stick to them. You have even more responsibilities on your plate these days, and Gur says it’s important to decide what you are – and aren’t – okay with saying yes to preserve your mental health. “If someone in your life is zapping your energy, put boundaries in place and enforce them,” she says. It's okay to say no if you're not up for that weekday morning coffee with a colleague, you'd rather no one visit that day, or if you want to postpone a long trip that's coming up. Resting is important during this time, and setting boundaries can help you prioritize that, too.
• Avoid comparing yourself to other moms. The comparison game can zap you of some of the joy that comes with this new stage of life. Gur recommends focusing on yourself and your own journey as a new parent, doing your best not to compare yourself to how other moms are handling this period of life. If you find that you feel bad about yourself after looking at certain posts from other new moms, she suggests unfollowing them or taking a break for a few weeks all together.