Texting is vexing to some when it comes to being polite. Here’s some (more) advice

Dear Readers:

Thank you for the comments regarding my recent column, “Have good manners gone by the wayside?” and came back with more questions:

One reader said this: The most frustrating situation for me is the fact that some of my present and potential clients seem to feel they can text or call me any hour of the day or night, even on Saturdays and Sundays, just because I am self-employed. I provided my cell phone number to make it easier to receive calls or texts because I do not have a secretary. Although it can be very helpful to be able to receive calls or texts even when I am out on a job, I guess I don’t appreciate being called or texted at 10 p.m. with a question that could have waited until the next day during normal business hours. I feel that because I am self-employed, I am obligated to respond to all texts and calls because I have a business to run, but am I wrong if I feel it is inconsiderate?

A. Unfortunately, what you describe is not an uncommon occurrence, and yes, it is inconsiderate. It appears we have a somewhat impatient, need-it-now mentality in our society. Part of the problem is we do have a 24-hours-a-day world because we can pay bills by phone 24 hours a day, or book a flight, or make a reservation at a hotel, make a donation to a charity, fill out a survey, and on and on.

Therefore, it may seem natural for some to call or text your babysitter, painter, lawn company, hairdresser, dog groomer, or whomever and leave a message or ask a question. They then check that off their list and move on to the next item on their “To Do” list. Regardless, it is inconsiderate and ill-mannered.

My suggestion would be to add a voicemail message that says, “I appreciate your calling me; however, I do not take calls after (and list the time). Please call again after (list what time) in the morning, or leave a message, with your phone number and I will call you after (list the time, like 8 a.m.).”

If it is a text message, turn on the “Dianne has notifications silenced.” Underneath that is a “Notify Anyway” option if in fact it is an emergency situation.

Reader’s Comment: This is my pet peeve. I have a problem with dog owners who do not pick up their dog’s poop when they poop in my yard! I think that is inexcusable and just plain nasty rude. I have actually seen them do this when I am at the window in my office and I have to keep myself from running out and yelling at them to pick it up but realize that might cause more problems than just dog poop in my yard. So what if I put up a little sign in my yard that asks people to please pick up their dog’s poop?

A. I agree – disgusting and inconsiderate! Yes, I suggest you try the sign.

Reader’s comment: In answer to your question, “What is an appropriate length of time to respond to a friend’s text or voice mail?” I think a response should be provided the same day if at all possible. Even if I don’t have the answer to what someone is asking me, I at least acknowledge that I have received their question and will get back to them the next day or as soon as I can.

A. I agree and this is the response I received from most of my readers who commented. There were also these questions:

Q. What do you do if you have a friend who is notorious for not responding in a timely manner to your texts? She just keeps telling me she would rather have me call her?

A. Believe it or not, there are people, even younger techy people in today’s world of technology, who would rather talk than text. And it is OK. It is a personal preference, and if you are their true friend, why not just pick up the phone and call?

Q. I hate texting anything other than a sentence because I am older and I text with one finger and not my thumbs racing at a hundred words a minute. So what do you do if you have a friend who would rather text than talk and who sends you long, long text messages to which you are expected to respond with a long text? My friend thinks I am “way behind the times,” and I get a sort of reminder every time I pick up the phone and call her instead of texting and then she also tells me I am just being stubborn.

A. Guess what, you are OK even if you do not like to text! It is time your friend valued your calls rather than nagging you about your texting abilities or preferences. It is also OK for you to ask her, as your friend, to appreciate your preferred method of communication.

My next column will take more of a positive road. Please send me your story or event wherein someone went over and above being polite or made your day. If you see me, feel free to ask me, or email lifestyle@bnd.com.