The Upside of Downtime

Being injured comes with the territory, and as mountain bikers we assume the possibility of injury at any time, but that does not make it any easier when we're staring down the long road to recovery with a broken bone, or some other injury. Being broken comes with its fair share of downsides, of course, but in my never-ending pursuit of finding silver linings, I am trying to recognize some of the good in this forced downtime while I sit here with a swollen wrist and a broken clavicle.

Over the years, I have succumbed to my fair share of injuries that have taken me off the bike for months, sometimes longer. It never gets easier, the pain and fear of missing out still remain, but I have found a way to shift my mentality around what it means to be injured. This latest injury is an interesting one because: when it happened, I knew almost exactly what the diagnosis was. As I lay in the dirt, I realized that my collarbone had been broken, I had hit my knee pretty hard, and my right wrist was pretty tweaked, but other than that, I was fine. I didn't hit my head, I did have a bit of road rash, and yes, it probably would have been smart to be wearing knee pads, but other than that, the road to recovery was going to be 4 to 8 weeks long.

This is my first major injury in the last 3 years, and for that, I am very thankful, my last big injury was a major moment. A TBI, broken collarbone, broken ribs, and a broken spirit greatly shifted my perspective and the importance of the bike and the way that I ride. In the weeks after the accident, I had somewhat made a decision that I would be stepping away from mountain bikes altogether.

I did not see the benefit of pursuing a sport that brought me injury almost every year and jeopardized my health, no matter how fulfilling the activity was. I'm not a professional, I'm not getting paid to do this, so why continue to push my limits and endanger my body and my mind? This was the mindset that I recovered with, and I was certain that I would be selling my mountain bike and giving up on the sport. Thankfully, I came to my senses and realized that I could shift my perspective and change my desire to ride in a more sustainable and enjoyable way. I realized that I didn't have to be the fastest, I didn't have to jump the farthest or ride the steepest tech, as long as I was personally having fun and enjoying myself, that was all I needed from the sport, and I had ultimately nothing to prove to myself or anyone else.

This change in my modus operandi was refreshing, to say the least, I felt a sort of freedom and a serious revitalization for the sport. I began to really love the uphills, the long miles, and the exploration. I didn’t feel the need to push myself and chase the adrenaline that is so addictive in this discipline. I felt as if I was finding the sport all over again.

However, I am sitting here using voice-to-text software to write this article, because I have dislocated bones in my right hand, a sprained wrist, and my left arm is in a sling. My back is covered in road rash, and my right knee is about the size of a grapefruit wrapped in gauze. Just because my perspective has shifted does not mean that I am immune to taking a tumble. But there is solace in knowing that I can make it a couple of years without injury. The emergency room is not a place I miss.

I have always really struggled with the downtime that accompanies injury. As athletes, I feel that we often have a hard time separating our self-worth from our activities. This is something that I have worked very hard to change in myself: the ability to accept downtime and enjoy resting and recovering. I try not to dwell too much on what I'm missing out on. I try to enjoy the time at home with loved ones. I try to focus on rebuilding myself and coming back stronger. I’m looking at the upside of this downtime and reflecting on how much I love this sport and everything that it has given me over the years. Time to binge some shows, tinker with my RC truck, and snuggle my dog as much as possible.