For over three years, Caitlin and Jake Miles of Biloxi have poured everything they have into starting a family.
Their journey has been complex and emotional — including two surgeries and multiple fertility treatments, all while Jake, a member of the United States Navy, traveled thousands of miles away on deployments.
As the bills pile up and negative results take their toll, the journey to motherhood for women and families who undergo fertility treatment can be hard. Recognizing this, a national grant was developed to offset the cost of one cycle of IVF for five women — including Caitlin.
“It was almost to that point where we were wanting to give up,” Jake said. “The financial struggle of doing it the last time, having enough time to save up and raise the money again. Then going through all the pain, and all the stuff that she has to go through to get ready for the procedure — having this grant flipped our whole outlook 180 degrees and for the better.”
The grant is the result of a partnership between The Wyatt Foundation and The Conceive Foundation to provide $15,000 grants to five couples nationally who are in need of IVF to grow their families. The Wyatt Foundation is the nonprofit arm of Inception Fertility, a fertility care company. The Conceive Foundation is the nonprofit arm of Caden Lane, a company that sells apparel and accessories for newborns.
Caitlin and Jake Miles share a home near the marshes of Biloxi. They got married in February 2021, and after unsuccessful attempts at starting a family, the couple discovered Caitlin had uterine fibroids — non-cancerous tumors that grow on the womb. Black women and those with a family history of uterine fibroids are at the highest risk of developing them, according to the Mayo Clinic.
“My mom had them, my grandmother, my aunts — we’ve all had them. I didn’t know up until that point that I had them, though,” she said. “I went and had surgery and got what I thought was all of them removed. We tried again, were unsuccessful, and then he deployed.”
Jake Miles, a Navy first class petty officer, is periodically deployed to locations around the world for months at a time.
“Very stressful would be the best way of describing it,” he said. “Being deployed, while we’re doing it, being on the other side of the planet for six months, with an 8 hour or 12 hour time difference — it’s hard.”
After seeking out a different medical provider, Caitlin’s suspicions were confirmed: despite undergoing major surgery to have the uterine fibroids removed, she had more of them. She underwent surgery again and healed, but attempts at conceiving naturally continued to be unsuccessful for the couple.
They turned to IUI, or intrauterine insemination which, too, was unsuccessful. Caitlin found out their last round of IUI didn’t take just as Jake was deploying again in February 2023. From there, after discussions with Caitlin’s doctor, the couple decided that the next step would be a cycle of IVF.
“I went into it (IVF treatment) with the opinion of, ‘This is going to work.’ Unfortunately, it didn’t. And that was very hard for both of us,” she said.
IVF is a process where eggs, collected from the ovaries, are fertilized outside of the body and then placed in the uterus. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the average cost of one cycle of IVF is $15,000. Despite Caitlin working in health care and Jake being an active member of the U.S. Military, neither have insurance that covers more than a small portion of the costs associated with their fertility treatments.
An estimated 2.1% of babies born every year are conceived using some form of assisted reproductive technology like IVF, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Age is an important determinant of whether or not an IVF cycle will be successful. For patients younger than 35, 42.6% of assisted reproductive technology cycles are successful. For patients over 40, that falls to 28%, the CDC estimates .
“We were taking time to heal and see how we are going to proceed forward. And then the grant fell in our laps” after a friend texted her the application, Caitlin said.
“She knew that I’ve been struggling and thought in the kindness of her heart to send me the link, knowing that we were at a standstill for what we were going to do,” she said. “I applied and here we are.”
Applicants had to verify that they had “unexplained infertility” and submit a video detailing their fertility journey. Caitlin filmed hers in her car on a busy day before heading into work — “raw and real.” From a pool of more than 1,000 applicants, she was one of the five recipients selected.
“It’s been a huge positive impact,” Jake said.
Dr. John Preston Parry is the founder of Positive Steps Fertility, a fertility clinic in Madison with locations across Mississippi and Louisiana. Positive Steps specializes in fertility testing and treatment.
“When people are getting IVF, they’ve been trying everything short of IVF to get a family,” Parry said. “If they could get spontaneously pregnant, they wouldn’t bother their time with a fertility specialist. (There are) low cost, low tech measures — we’re about $500-600 a month for oral medication and insemination. If you could get pregnant with that, why would you get a $20,000 solution like IVF? Most people wouldn’t. So it’s really that they’ve done everything else.”
The Miles couple was faced with more uncertainty earlier this year when access to IVF was threatened in Alabama after the state’s supreme court ruled that frozen embryos could be considered children. The decision had a ripple effect, and IVF became a national talking point.
“I remember coming home and asking Jake like … what is happening? I didn’t know how to react except for like ‘This could be ripped away from us. This could be the only way that we could get pregnant and it’s being ripped away from us,’ said Caitlin. “It was a very scary time to know that something that has brought so many babies to people’s families could be nonexistent.”
Many politicians came out in support of ensuring IVF remained legal and accessible, but some leaders in Mississippi have blocked efforts to protect access to IVF. U.S. Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith who blocked federal legislation that aimed to protect IVF, and Mississippi Agriculture Commissioner Andy Gipson likened a bill that would protect access to IVF in Mississippi to “backdoor abortions” and “cloning.”
“It is a time of vulnerability for fertility patients across the US. And I think particularly here in the Deep South. And I also think there are many people who say they are deliberately coming after IVF and fertility. Which is sad, because most women and most people want to respect and protect those who love children and who want families,” Parry said. “So, it’s concerning that judges and legislators will act against the interests of their constituents, as well as the good of the state. Because helping families is important.”
The grant has lit the way for the couple’s fertility journey. Still, the process has not been without difficulty.
“It’s just hard because usually I like to be the person that can fix problems for her. Having to stand there and just be supportive and help where I could, but not being able to actually do something about it — that was the hard part,” Jake said.
As others in Caitlin’s life are having children, she shared that while she is happy for them, it’s tough not to ask: why not me?
“I’ve always known that I’ve wanted to be a wife and a mom and the fact that we’re both about to turn 35 in the next few weeks — not having a child has been hard. This isn’t what I ever expected of my life,” Caitlin said. “I have an amazing husband and I’m just like — why hasn’t this happened for us? I’ve got so much motherly love to give and I’m just like … is it going to happen for me, you know?”
Parry emphasized the importance of research when navigating infertility. Both on the front end, when deciding which clinicians are the best for your circumstance, and after the fact: if IVF or other reproductive technology is unsuccessful, a thorough investigation into why matters.
According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine , 91,771 babies were born in 2022 with the help of Assisted Reproductive Technology.
Caitlin and Jake will begin their IVF cycle with the support of the grant in August.
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