Any advice on making the transition back to work from maternity leave smoother?

Elaine Varelas provides advice on transitioning back to work after taking maternity leave.

Q. Why is returning to work from maternity leave so hard? I feel like my colleagues think I had a 5-month vacation. I’m exhausted and stressed out. And it’s ME who has to drop everything if my newborn is sick. I wish workplaces would offer more assistance and support for new parents.

A. Returning from maternity leave is very challenging for most women, especially in the US. New parents, especially mothers, often face significant physical, emotional and financial hurdles when returning to work. You hear about people who’ve come back to the office two weeks after having a child, but that’s not the norm. The United States remains one of the few developed countries without a national paid maternity leave policy for all workers. Here in Massachusetts, most workers are eligible to receive up to 12 weeks of paid family leave for employees at companies contributing to the unemployment insurance fund. And most Massachusetts employees are eligible for up to 26 weeks of combined family and medical leave per benefit year. You need to look for every way to get all the benefits you can, including FMLA, vacation time and sick time combined.

Your colleagues, and especially managers need to understand that new mothers are sleep-deprived, emotional with hormonal changes and recovering from physical changes that impact everything about who they are. Understanding needs to work both ways. Your colleagues may have had to pick up some of your workload while you were out, and no one will want to tell you that unless they want to make you feel bad. Unfortunately, some colleagues may not fully understand the demands of caring for a newborn and might mistakenly view maternity leave as a vacation full of rest and relaxation.

You may want to complain about everything, complain about your exhaustion and your stress, and while people might be sympathetic in the beginning, all they know is that you weren’t at work. As you’ve noted, new mothers often bear the primary responsibility for addressing childcare emergencies, such as when a baby is sick. Being able to take sick time if your child is sick is one of the benefits that most employers do provide and talking to your manager and HR department about what other kind of workplace support and assistance is available is in your best interest. You seem to be angry at your partner perhaps not being able to take time off if the baby is sick. Work out this situation so that you have as much support as possible.

When you plan to return to work, do not return on a Monday. I encourage you to plan to return on a Thursday. Don’t return for a full week when you make the return to work. Try to negotiate a part-time return. Getting used to childcare and prepping yourself and an infant before work will take flexibility and more time than you can imagine. There are many ways that workplaces can support new parents, including offering flexible or part-time schedules to allow for parents to return gradually to work. You might consider using your vacation time to transition back to work on a part-time basis, if that is something that your manager will be receptive to.

It takes a significant emotional and physical toll to get ready and leave your child with whoever will be taking care of that child. And even if you work from home, don’t anticipate that you can take care of your newborn and work a full-time job. You’ll need additional support., so plan accordingly. If you can afford to come back part-time and ease into your return to work, I encourage you to do that as well. Work out as much of your return, and your work load in advance as you can. Talk to other returning mothers who have successfully returned to work and avoid those who say it was easy.

Resources: Paid Family and Medical Leave (PFML) overview and benefits | Mass.gov

Supporting Working Parents: Creating Family-Friendly Policies and Flexible Work Arrangements (inclusionhub.com)