Confidence Coach Amber Nicole on talking through trauma, building a business

This week on “Black Men Sundays,” host Corie Murray interviews Amber Nicole , a relationship and confidence coach who helps people find their worth, voice, and path.

Corie’s conversation with Nicole started with some basics. For one, she explained what’s behind the belief that Black men often suppress their trauma and, further, how life can improve once such issues are overcome.

“They don’t feel like they will be heard, because we talk so much as women and that’s how we heal is through talking, and you guys don’t talk as much, you guys express through different ways. So, your way of expressing trauma or expressing the things, a lot of times women feel like, ‘Oh, well, you don’t have emotions,’ or, ‘You don’t feel nothing,’ or, ‘You should be the strong one all the time,’ and so for that very reason, then, men don’t express their trauma because they feel like, ‘I gotta be the strong one,’ and unfortunately people have been told that trauma is a weakness, as if you caused it on your own,” she said. “So, to express it is like, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t say nothing, because I have to hold this in, because I gotta be strong,’ but what people don’t realize is holding it in, you’re actually exaggerating. You’re making it worse in how you show up in your relationships, how you show up and how you speak, how you teach, just everything. Holding on to the trauma and not healing it, you make it worse, not better.”

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She’s the founder of Justyce by Amber Nicole LLC and The Beauty of HER Academy , with the latter offering courses on confidence, healing, wealth, teen life and other topics.

Nicole said she was able to get her coaching company off the ground after hiring a coach herself.

“I established myself by getting a business coach. It was a multi millionaire, because that’s where I wanted to be. I always say, ‘Talk to somebody that has the fruit of what you want.’ So, I got a business coach that helped me establish my business,” she said. “What did I actually want to do? Because before I was just talking and teaching, but I was like, ‘Where am I going with this? What am I doing with this?’ So I had to sit down and write a plan out of what I wanted to do with my business. Once I planned out, ‘This is what I want. This is who I actually want to talk to’ — because you can do a bunch of different things, but where’s the goal? — I had to decide, ‘OK, I want to talk to men and women who dealt with this. My niche, you know? Relationship and confidence. Here’s who I talk to. Here’s what they dealt with. Like, I had to have a goal, a plan, and I wrote it out, and from there I also wrote out what I wanted to make for that business. Do I want to make a little bit of money? Do I make a lot of money? What do you want to do with the business? I was really specific about what my vision was.”

Hear the full interview and more in Season 5, Episode 10 of “Black Men Sundays.”

Black Men Sundays talks about building generational wealth. Check out every episode in the media player below.