Open in App
  • Local
  • U.S.
  • Election
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle
  • Education
  • Real Estate
  • Newsletter
  • Business Insider

    My retired father uses his pension to pay for my basic needs because I can't find a job. I'm worried I'm ruining his retirement.

    By Patience Tinotenda Mutsetse,

    27 days ago

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=3BZM2o_0v1Mwvr100

    https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=1TJBCK_0v1Mwvr100
    The author, not pictured, is a recent college grad who depends on her father.
    • I'm a recent college grad, and I'm struggling to make ends meet; I can't find a full-time job.
    • I've asked my retired father for his financial support, and he is giving me some of this pension.
    • I feel guilty for taking my father's pension and want him to enjoy his retirement.

    Scrolling through my LinkedIn feed has become a daily ritual. Some days, I scroll to draw inspiration; some days, I search for answers. Watching women my age bag academic and professional accolades while being financially independent has become a fantasy for me.

    Three years ago, I reached a remarkable academic milestone: I graduated from a prestigious university with a bachelor's in social work. I was optimistic about securing a decent job with a great salary. I had it all well-planned and clearly journaled. Living a " soft life " and being independent was the ultimate goal.

    I never thought unemployment would be part of my career progression . However, I have encountered countless experiences of recruiter ghosting, rejection emails, and short-term contracts — which have all contributed heavily to my financial insecurity.

    Instead of the post-grad life I've dreamed of, I'm leaning on my family for support.

    My father is responsible for my expenses and basic needs

    I am two months away from reaching my late 20s, and I have not yet achieved most of my professional aspirations .

    Recently, I stumbled on a huge financial crisis. I was struggling to pay off my debts and meet my personal needs. I had to hold an honest conversation with my father about how I was struggling because I was failing to secure a stable job with a constant flow of income. I have been writing freelance articles for international magazines and publications. I have had numerous financial gains from my youth work activities. However, due to the high cost of living, this has not been adequate enough to cater to all my needs.

    Self-sufficiency has always been one of my greatest priorities, so initiating a conversation about my failures with my father as a graduate was quite difficult and uncomfortable — especially because my father paid for my college tuition and was in retirement for seven years.

    He graciously offered to help me with money from his pension. Since then, my father has assisted me with his pension funds to cater to my upkeep and internet data expenses.

    My father has always been a great anchor in my career progression, but this season has made me more appreciative of him. His constant calls and messages to check up on me, his sharing of work opportunities, and his effort to link me up with his network have shown how much he cares for me.

    There's a tremendous emotional burden of being a dependent daughter

    Often, I have bore the emotional brunt of being the dependent eldest daughter of the family. I often feel distress, inadequacy, insecurity, and anxiety. I have dreams shelved in diaries. I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble with no way out.

    Plus, this should be when I am repaying my father for all his sacrifices to help me become an educated young woman. But I can't.

    I am struggling with the unmet expectations of fulfilling societal pressures. I come from a culture where children are part of their parents' retirement investment plan , so being financially unstable at my age is problematic for me.

    My father should be fully enjoying his retirement in our rural home, but he is also constantly worried about my welfare. I know for a fact that he is always anxious about my academic and professional development.

    I wish I could give him what he deserves.

    Read the original article on Business Insider
    Expand All
    Comments / 1K
    Add a Comment
    glj
    1d ago
    Do like most people do secure a full time job doing something and free lance when you’re off or at night or weekends. I had a full time job I worked for over 30 years, didn’t make a lot but it pay the bills and I was able to draw a pension from it. During that time I had a second job in the evenings or on the weekend to help pay bills and take care of me and my children. I was grateful for that job. You sound like a leach
    David Collins
    2d ago
    get off your ass and go to work.
    View all comments
    YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
    Local News newsLocal News

    Comments / 0