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I'm a high school educator. I wish parents stayed active through school events.
By Jess deCourcy Hinds,
8 hours ago
mediaphotos/ Getty Images
As a high school educator, I saw that parents of younger kids are more involved in school.
Knowing parents personally makes it easier for me to share more about their kids with them.
It shows kids that they should care about the community around them.
When I was a high school educator , I got a surprising phone call from a parent one morning. They asked, "How can I volunteer and help the school?" I was speechless — I'd never heard someone ask to volunteer at the high school level before. It's more common for the parents of younger children to volunteer, but secondary educators appreciate help just as much. When I'm friendly with students' parents, it's easier for me to reach and support the kids.
We educators work hard to make school a great experience for kids despite limited resources and staffing, so volunteers make a difference — and not just the PTA members who generously donate hundreds of hours. It's just as meaningful for a student's family to hang artwork, serve snacks at finals, or plant a garden over a single afternoon.
Parents are more involved when kids are little
When I know a kid's parent personally, I often email to share anecdotes about their student's growing confidence and moments when they were role models to others . Parents always love hearing positive news.
I've also reached out to parent volunteers when I had concerns about their kids. The trusting relationship we built through working on mundane school tasks — washing down tables and shelving books — made me feel comfortable reaching out directly rather than going through a guidance counselor. Teens need all the adults they can get rallying around them at school, even their parents.
But I don't see many parents in school hallways in middle and high school . In preschools and elementary schools, parents pop in to read a story, host birthday parties, or chaperone trips. Family involvement dwindles every year after 5th grade, and by high school, I only see parents discussing serious stuff like grades and college admissions.
It helps me connect with the families
When that very first parent volunteer called me on the phone and asked how she could help, I asked what her skills were. "I can plant a window garden," she said. It turned out that her daughter, Joni, was also a longtime volunteer at the library. Parents who generously volunteer often encourage their kids to do the same.
Joni had served as library intern since 9th grade, and devoted many hours to helping peers at the circulation desk. "Joni talks about you all the time," said her mom. "I just had to meet you and see the library she was so excited about."
The day Joni's mom planted the window garden, Joni barely spoke with her, but they exchanged smiles from across the room. A busy 11th grader, Joni continued her usual Friday afternoon routine of helping at the circulation desk and doing physics homework. I could see so much love and pride in Joni's mom's face when she glanced across the library and saw her daughter helping her peers in such a professional manner.
Teens want to feel ownership of their school and social lives, so it's probably best that parents back off a bit. But when they do volunteer, they send the message that higher education isn't just a means to an end — but it's also a caring community built around lifelong learning. Some parents who usher at plays or poetry readings enjoy it so much, they say they want to go back to high school again.
"It's really cool of you to volunteer, Dad," one boy said to his father, a carpenter whom I called in to repair a bookcase, "Just don't make a habit of it, OK?"
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