Meet the millionaires next door

• Not all millionaires have big houses, boats, or fancy cars.
• In fact, six of them told BI their strategies to grow wealth — and keep it — are the exact opposite.
• "We aren't flashy with our wealth because money isn't our ultimate goal," one said.

Anthony Drew Gary, 35, and his wife had a combined $5,000 to their name a decade ago.

Now, the Indiana couple has a net worth of about $1.3 million.

Gary said they had an "incredibly average" path to wealth, emphasizing prudent investments and modest living.

He makes a decent living in real estate, saying he and his wife combined never made more than $200,000 in a year. With two kids and the rising cost of living in the US, that kind of money can go fast. So, for a decade, the Garys have stuck to a meticulous budget.

"We shop at Aldi," he said. "We're doing enough things right to have a significant margin in our lives that 10 years of compounded efforts have put us on the fast track to where we want to be."

Gary worked his way through college and graduated debt-free from a public university. He and his wife, now a stay-at-home mom, married at 27 and became parents at 30, buying a small three-bed, two-bath home for $200,000 in the suburbs of Indianapolis. They could've qualified for a larger home, but having financial flexibility was more important.

Gary grew his career in real estate , jumping from position to position while negotiating pay increases. He began a brokerage and bought homes to convert into rental properties. He said they're "purposefully not maximizing " their earnings to spend more time with their children. They prioritized maxing out their retirement and investment accounts.

To avoid lifestyle creep, they stuck to strict monthly budgets, took vacations when lodging was cheapest, and traded children's clothing and toys with other families in the neighborhood. He said these were fairly simple ways to live modestly without sacrificing quality of life.

"I play a lot of golf — I'll hit as many bad shots in a $100 polo as I do when wearing a $25 polo," Gary said. "My story is one of doing all the boring things right to set ourselves up for a wonderful life where depending on how much we want to spend in future years, we could likely be done working by 40, even with two children."

Some stories of people striking it rich and retiring early include unrelatable circumstances, such as family wealth, entrepreneurship, or a superstar career at the top of the corporate ladder.

But many of the millionaires Business Insider spoke with in recent months got there without a quick fix. Instead, they spent a decade or more investing wisely and living modestly. Most stressed that the importance of a budget and frugal spending shouldn't be overlooked, even though it can be difficult to ignore social pressure to keep spending on luxury goods and experiences — before and after getting rich.

Flashy wealth is not the goal

Xiao Yu, 37, got into the habit of saving when he was little. His parents were rice farmers in China who immigrated to the US and worked minimum-wage restaurant jobs. He said he was an average student, though he never had student debt from his public university.

He worked up to becoming a CPA and finance manager, reaching financial independence with his wife, a homemaker, in October 2023 and trading in the corporate life for early retirement and a tax advisory business. He earned about $180,000 before retiring and is set to earn $100,000 a year in self-employment.

Yu, a father of two living in a 2,100-square-foot home in the suburbs of Indianapolis, said he and his wife achieved their wealth by consistently saving 35% to 45% of their income, committing to an annual budget, avoiding lifestyle creep by driving decade-old vehicles, and switching companies or seeking internal promotions every one to two years. He also monetized his financial coaching skills by helping his coworkers with tax returns and planning advice.

It's allowed him to put his earnings toward spending on vacations, renovating his home, and investing in his kids' futures. He spends his off time trying out new hobbies such as building a backyard garden.

"We aren't flashy with our wealth because money isn't our ultimate goal — financial freedom to choose how we want to live is our goal," Yu said.

To be sure, many Americans engage in budgeting and modest living simply to get by, not to get rich. Americans living paycheck to paycheck won't have much to invest or take risks with, making it near impossible to significantly grow their wealth. Some families said that even with six-figure salaries , they're struggling to invest for the future or buy a home.

According to the Federal Reserve's most recent Economic Well-Being report , 14% of families making $50,000 to $100,000 could not pay their current month's bills in full, while over half of all households experienced reduced savings in the last 12 months. Only 63% of families said they could cover a $400 emergency expense completely using cash.

Meanwhile, credit card debt just hit a record $1.14 trillion, and according to the Federal Reserve , 3.25% of that debt is delinquent or at least 30 days overdue. While the rate of Americans falling behind on their credit card bills is lower than it was during the Great Recession, it's been rising over the last couple of years, suggesting many people are finding it harder to keep up.

Still, many Americans are refusing to keep up with the Joneses and have learned to be content with what they have. Lawrence Delva-Gonzalez, 41, works as an auditor in the Washington, DC, area and built his net worth from $150,000 in debt in 2012 to over $1.3 million as of August. Still, he said he has no plans to slow his savings rate.

Delva-Gonzalez was raised in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, where he said he was "never rich by any stretch." He recalled his grandmother waking up at 4 a.m. working various side hustles to make money. He said his mother never made more than $30,000 a year.

After moving to the US, he received a bachelor's and master's degree from a public university, putting him over $100,000 in debt. His first job paid $27,000 a year before taxes, and he said he spent much of his earnings on food.

However, noticing his finances remained stagnant, he decided to reduce his student loan payments each month and invest some of that money in the stock market and retirement accounts.

"The more that you can invest on the front end in tax beneficial accounts, it will have an outsize return for you in the back end," Delva-Gonzalez said.

The Marine Corps veteran jumped from job to job to increase his pay, started tracking all expenses using budgeting apps , and saved over 50% of his income by reducing unnecessary expenses. He bought a condo for $132,000 in 2016, which he said saved him money long-term given how rapidly rents rose in DC. Once he and his wife had a more robust nest egg, they purchased a rental property in Tallahassee, whose value has significantly increased.

"It's just casual human nature: We think that wealth is somehow unattainable," Delva-Gonzalez said. "The more you do what you're supposed to do, the more you create opportunities to do what you want to do."

After all, becoming a millionaire isn't all about retiring to a beachfront home. Justin Hall, 56, values the importance of retirement but said his goal of building wealth isn't just to live lavishly.

Hall discovered FI strategies in 2017, though he said he was always frugal and built his wealth slowly. He and his wife, a civil servant and a teacher, respectively, arrived at a combined multiple seven-figure net worth in Virginia with enough passive income from investments to fund his early retirement and a full-time nomadic lifestyle.

Hall, who served 20 years in the Air Force, started investing young , put much of his money in an IRA , and maintained a minimalist lifestyle. He earned a combined gross income of $128,000 in his last year in the Air Force, and his pension is now $61,600 a year. He also earned slightly below six figures each year over his 10 years as a civil servant. He and his wife also earn $34,000 a year in real estate and $64,000 gross in investments.

He had many side hobbies as a musician, coin and stamp collector, and cyclist, though he sold most of his possessions to focus on bettering himself and keeping his costs low.

Hall acknowledges he made various investing mistakes, such as losing thousands in individual stocks, buying mutual funds high and selling low when the dot-com bubble burst, and being too wary of the market during the 2008 recession. Still, careful saving, little debt, and tight budgeting allowed him to retire at 52. He and his wife downsized about 98% of their possessions in 2023 and have traveled the world full-time for the last year.

"I push back against the worn binary of either make money to have purpose or retire early and sit at the beach all day sipping fruity drinks," Hall said. "I strongly believe that early retirees can have fulfilling lives without the paid work."

Are you part of the FIRE movement or living by some of its principles? Reach out to this reporter at nsheidlower@businessinsider.com .