19 Stories From Moms And Dads Who Changed Their Parenthood Views They Always Believed As A Kid

Being a parent can really change the way you look at things.

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share what they learned about parenthood once they had their own family vs. what they believed as a kid. Here's what they had to say:

1. "When I was a kid, I ran around unattended all the time. On any given day, after school and on the weekends, I could be at a creek, a friend's house, the mall, a movie theater, a construction site, or even home in my room. And my parents had no idea. I remember being 10, running around on the construction equipment from the housing development three neighborhoods over at 9 or 10 p.m. My parents were cool with it."

2. "I didn't realize how relentless looking after a child was until I had my own. Even when I've had a busy day at work or feel ill, I still have to look after my daughter. She doesn't understand, so she still wants attention and to play with me."

— kayleighs4e699037f

3. "It's so hard to be able to attend all of my kids' sports events! All four of my kids play at least one sport. My husband doesn't get off work until six, and I don't get off work until 5:30. We have to leave work early to attend our kids' games, as they usually start between 5:30 and 7."

4. "My parents weren't great, and (big surprise) parenting never seemed difficult for them. They had a lot of help from their parents and treated my sister and me like they were raising us to turn 18 and move out. I want to raise healthy, happy adults, but I never had a model for how to do that. I've had to learn as I go and it has taken a lot of work to take my parents' bad parenting out of my repertoire so my kids won't have to deal with it."

"Beyond that, I live in a different state and my sister didn't have children. I grew up with a large extended family and spent weekends and holidays with grandparents and cousins. My kids don't have any of that which can feel isolating and not at all what I pictured as the ideal family life when I was young."

—Jen, Vermont

5. "I didn't realize how much things like getting kids meals, adding another drink in the drive-thru, and buying kid-friendly snacks add to your food bill. I now understand why my parents always made us order water when we ate out. It doesn't make much of a difference when it's just two adults, but once you start adding kids it all adds up."

6. "You never stop worrying about your kids."

— hannahd41c52c3ee

7. "OMG TOOTHPASTE! No one told me that once your kids start brushing their teeth, there will be toothpaste EVERYWHERE. Just globs of it on the counter and in the sink. The lid won't end up back on the toothpaste so you have crusty gloopy toothpaste on the tube. It is DISGUSTING and a bitch to clean, too. I NEVER as a kid remember having toothpaste all over my bathroom. Maybe my kids are just feral."

8. "Parents can be wrong, admit they are wrong, and work together with their children on correct behavior."

—Dan G., Ohio

9. "The language and tone I speak to my kids with. My parents always used 'baby talk' with me and my brother. My husband and I on the other hand have spoken to our children using vocabulary as if we were speaking to each other and it has paid off. Our kids can hold intelligent conversations with their peers and adults. They also never went through the 'don't talk like a baby' phase because of it."

10. "There's so much more to consider when it comes to protecting your kid's privacy and keeping them safe. I was about 11 or 12 when the internet became more widely available for email and YouTube. There are so many social media platforms now, and so many ways that potential predators can lure and harm children online. I have no idea how to address some of these issues, and as things like AI evolve, there will be even more internet safety concerns to talk with my kid about!"

—Katie, Washington

11. "There is the regular 'I could never change a diaper until my kids' stuff, but what I was not prepared for was developing empathy for other people and their situation with kids. Before I had kids, I was rather 'anti-child' and didn't hold them or care much about them. I still don't like holding babies, but I'm acutely aware of what other parents have to go through. Even to the point I now empathize with the situations I see on TV knowing they're not real."

12. "Mother of three daughters here. Mine is the intense scrutiny, and suspicion because EVERYTHING must be 'fair.' Does she have a piece of cake? I must have the same size piece. No, I don't believe you, hers is bigger. She's been hugging you for a minute and a half? You better time our hug. No, I'm SURE hers was longer. And on and on until the end of time."

— bexc

13. "I'm a mother of four kids and I've never really realized until I had children of my own just how hard and expensive raising good members of society is. For example, my kids are at the age where they want and need expensive things. My oldest just started his senior year of high school, and he wants to go to college, so we're looking at $20,000 for his first year. My 17-year-old needs a car so he can drive himself to sports practices. That's another $20,000! I'm living off of my teacher's salary and my husband's IT salary and inflation keeps getting worse and worse."

14. "Being able to relate and participate with your child in their interests and personal goals rather than pushing the parent's agenda upon the children."

—Dan G., Ohio

15. "As a kid, I didn't realize how insanely emotional parenting is. Worrying about how you might be screwing them up, worrying about their emotions , how you may have reacted to something, how fairly you're treating them, how bittersweet it is to watch them grow, hitting milestones, etc. You don't see that in your parents as a kid, but my gosh, it's there and intense. Kids are emotional too, but I think they're blind to the emotions of parenting. It makes me appreciate my parents in a different light."

16. "Being a mother of a young daughter it's so difficult to guide my child on body autonomy and safety/vigilance in the age of technology. I was born in 1980. No tech (other than the family PC) until my mid-late teen years and onward. It's a struggle, but luckily my girl is extremely intelligent and understands my caution."

— amymatthewsp

17. "I genuinely feel like you have to be so much more watchful of your kids. When I was a kid, I could wander around the neighborhood with my friends until my curfew, but nowadays I can't imagine letting my 6- or 7-year-old out alone, even in our quiet neighborhood. People are so much more brazen with grabbing kids these days!"

18. "The main difference I notice between how I raise my kids and how I was raised is how much space my kids have in my life. Having been raised in the 80s and 90s, my parents took their hands off the wheel and left us to our own devices. I looked after my brothers and myself while my mom did whatever. It's a little cliché, but we were thrown out in the morning and not allowed back in the house until dinnertime. We never really involved our parents in our kid lives."

"I'm not a helicopter parent by any means, but I always know where my kids are. I hang out with them, they run errands with me, we eat together all the time, I know their friends, and we talk all the time. I have two teenagers, so this is big for me. I always jokingly say, '80s parents were different,' but man it's the truth."

— cgallaghernovember

19. "The difference between 'I will do anything for you' and 'I will do everything for you.' I will do anything to keep my daughter safe and healthy and make sure she knows she's loved. I also know that I can't do everything for her or she won't grow up to be the strong, independent, resourceful person I know she can be, which isn't something I understood before becoming a dad."

Did having kids change your view on parenting compared to when you were growing up? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.