"This Has Come Too Far": People Are Sharing Self-Care Trends That Are Actually Toxic

People talk a lot about self-care. And while it's essential to look after our mental health, treat ourselves, and be kind to ourselves, some trends have gone too far. So redditor u/kendraxquinn asked, "What's a popular self-care trend that is actually toxic?" Here's what people had to say about the topic.

1. "Only doing things that feel good or spark joy. Sometimes, for your long-term health and future, you must do things that aren't super duper fun."

2. "Radical selfishness to the point that you don't think you should ever have to compromise, sacrifice, be inconvenienced by, or have an imperfect interaction with someone."

— u/St-Nobody

3. "Weaponizing therapy terms (and therapy speak in general). People parrot it with no real understanding, and the next thing, it's being misused and abused everywhere. Words like 'triggered' and 'boundaries' do my head in. They both mean something significant and important, but they don't mean what they've become all over the internet."

4. "Thinking so highly of yourself that constructive criticism appears to be hateful."

— u/HeartonSleeve1989

5. "Insisting that self-care needs to be solitary and cost money. For most people, the self-care they need is quality time with friends, family, and community, not buying some crap to put on your face while you're alone in the tub. Don't get me wrong, I'm an introvert, and alone time keeps me sane, but I don't know if I've ever seen people celebrate 'self-care' as being social."

6. "Avoiding difficult conversations in the name of positive vibes."

— u/sad_boi_jazz

7. "Diet culture. Carbs are not bad for you. Gluten is not bad for you. Calories are not evil. Dairy is not bad for you. Grains are not bad for you. Sugar is not bad for you. With all this diet culture, people no longer know what a healthy, balanced diet looks like. Eat a mix of foods, mostly unprocessed, and don't punish yourself for indulging in the occasional piece of cake. Hating yourself into better habits does not work."

8. "Loving yourself 'no matter what' can be bad for you, sometimes you're just wrong and need to change."

— u/Adumbidiotface

9. "Too much retail therapy/'little treat' culture. Sometimes, buying yourself something nice or getting a little treat because you did something great or had a bad day is fine and good. You can't just constantly deprive yourself. But there's a fine line between 'I had a bad day, gotta get a Starbucks/cave in and buy that thing I've been looking for' and coffee out every day and a constant stream of Amazon boxes full of trinkets you don't truly desire to come to the house. I've seen people put themselves into bad financial situations or turn into borderline hoarders because 'I deserve a little treat,' but it's literally every day."

10. "Neglecting sleep to get ahead in school or your career . Not getting enough sleep will catch up to you."

— u/DangerzonePlane8

11. Any kind of 'cleanse.' That’s precisely what your liver and kidneys do."

12. "Letting your children have beauty regimes. Nine-year-olds do not need to exfoliate, use night cream and day serum, and beg their mommies to spend $50 on special face potions and silk pillowcases. Slap some sunscreen and a big hat on them and keep them off social media."

13. "Every fad diet ever."

14. "The blatant selfishness I've seen under the guise of 'protecting your boundaries.' Boundaries are important, but sometimes, you should show up even when you're not in the perfect mood. Sometimes, you should do the favor without keeping score. And sometimes you should have the uncomfortable conversation even though you'd rather stick your head in the sand to protect your peace."

— u/ikbenlauren

15. "Productivity as self-worth and the constant pursuit of efficiency. It starts to feel like an obligation rather than self-care. There’s so much pressure to optimize, and it IS toxic."

16. "Toxic positivity and the idea that your own thinking is the cause for all your hardships. Just think positively, and all your problems will go away. If they don't, you're not thinking positive enough. And now people going through true hardships with no or no easy solutions feel a giant amount of guilt on top of it."

— u/onesmilematters

17. "The belief that you must love yourself before someone else will love you. I hate that one because it seems to imply that people who struggle with self-esteem can't be loved and that it's their fault. After all, all you have to do is love yourself so others can love you, right? We can't always love ourselves; that doesn't make us less deserving of love."

18. "The whole 'not giving a fuck what people think.' I've decided that the way to think about this advice is don't give a fuck what other people think of you, but absolutely do give a fuck how you make other people feel.'"

— u/imacomputr

19. "Mommy wine/booze culture! Multiple drinks every night should not be how you destress and look after yourself."

20. "That constant pressure to always look on the bright side and be positive no matter what. A friend of mine went through a really tough time, and every time she tried to open up about how she was feeling, people just told her to 'stay positive' or 'look on the bright side' instead of helping. Sometimes, feeling down and talking about it is okay because forcing positivity can worsen things."

— u/Peachy_Sofie

21. "The overuse of botox, fillers, lip injections, using loads of face care products and makeup with toxic ingredients. Ladies, let your skin breathe! Stop contouring your face every damn day, you don't need it. Save it for going out, not just sitting at home doing TikToks and taking selfies."

Do you have anything to add? What is a popular self-care trend that has gone too far and might even be considered toxic? Tell us in the comments or drop it into this anonymous form .

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.