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"They Feel Safe With You": These Are The 4 Major Things Your Kids May Say That You Should Never Ignore

By Marie Holmes,

1 day ago

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=2jazWh_0v4KN01n00 — Sometimes kids tell you what they need directly while other times you need to put some effort into understanding what’s going on. A young child, for example, may not have the language they need to articulate what they’re feeling, but a teen may be evasive because they’re anxious about confiding something personal.
It’s not possible for you to foresee every tricky scenario that your kid will bring to you or even know exactly how to respond in that moment. It is your job to listen to your child, to make space for them to tell you what they’re feeling and to reach out for more help when necessary.
For guidance, we asked a number of mental health professionals what phrases kids say that you should never ignore. Here’s what they had to say.
Statements About Their Identity
Chaytee / Getty Images

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=3tBAnq_0v4KN01n00 — Momo Productions / Getty Images

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=1KAvHp_0v4KN01n00 — If a kid is struggling socially or with their self-image, they might say things like:
I hate myself.
I hate my body.
I’m dumb.
I’m lonely.
I don’t want to go to school.
If the issue is anxiety or some other stress, they could say something vague, such as:
I’m scared.
I’m worried.
It can be hard to differentiate life’s regular ups-and-downs from something more serious, so it’s important to ask follow-up questions and get more information.
“I would encourage parents just to lean in to find out what might be the source of stress,” Chinwé Williams , a licensed professional counselor, told HuffPost.
She added that parents sometimes equate “I’m lonely” with “I’m bored,” but the two statements can mean very different things. Williams suggested following up by saying, “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me more about that?” It could be that a child is missing a particular friend. Or they may feel a more general kind of aloneness. Another way in, she said, could be offering “Can I tell you a story about that?” Talk about a time in your life when you felt alone (or whatever your child is feeling), and then ask your child, “Is that how you feel? Do you feel something similar to mom (or to dad)? Tell me about your experience.”
Parents should keep in mind that “something which seems trivial to you may be meaningful to your child,” Elisabeth Kane , a psychologist at Children’s Nebraska, told HuffPost. But this doesn’t need to get in the way of listening to your child, validating their feelings and offering support. You want to set a precedent that you will do the same with any other problem they might bring you in the future.
“If your child makes an unusual or self-critical comment and you aren’t sure if you should be concerned, clarification is always a good first step,” Kane said. A comment about trouble with a friend, for example, might be an indication of bullying or simply normal peer conflict. You won’t know until your child tells you more, and they may not share until you ask.
Statements About Self-Harm
Chaytee / Getty Images

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=2SH7qb_0v4KN01n00 — Anchiy / Getty Images

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=388y6l_0v4KN01n00 — Triloks / Getty Images

https://img.particlenews.com/image.php?url=1MgBE9_0v4KN01n00 — Tempura / Getty Images

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"They Feel Safe With You": These Are The 4 Major Things Your Kids May Say That You Should Never Ignore

Statements About Their Identity

Statements About Self-Harm

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