1. "He thought of the most innocent word he could and then started to whisper it to me creepily. This has been going on for years…now he has trained our children to do it. Think of someone randomly leaning over your shoulder and whispering 'bagel' in your ear like Hannibal Lecter. It only happens occasionally so I'll have my guard up for a few weeks after it happens, then I forget about it until he does it again. My toddler can never remember the right word, so he whispers random words in my ear occasionally, which cracks me up."
3. "He bought a bulk bag of tiny plastic babies and put them everywhere that I might find them. In my medicine bottles, in tissue boxes, there's even one swimming in a tub of Vaseline in the bathroom. They're everywhere. I eventually located the bag-o-babies. I plan to retaliate. I'm now accepting ideas on where to put them."
4. "He out-stalked my stalker. On one hand, it was great that he was able to get the stalker to back off because the police refused to do anything but say, 'we feel your life isn't at risk.' But it was also definitely the creepiest thing my husband ever did."
5. "Back when my husband and I were dating, we lived in an apartment above a hospice patient who eventually passed. One night, my husband fell asleep with the TV on. I woke up to turn it off and went back to bed. He suddenly sat up in bed and stared at our room's doorway for a few minutes, eyes wide open. I'm freaking out at this point thinking he's f--king with me. I'm trying to get him to respond saying it's not funny anymore. He suddenly says, 'You're not welcome here.' He stares for about five more minutes, lays down, and goes back to sleep with his back to me. Needless to say, no matter what I did, that man would not wake up. The next morning he had no memory of it and it never happened again. It still makes my gut churn when I think back on it."
7. "My spouse once rearranged all my childhood toys into a mini altar dedicated to Nicolas Cage. I woke up to Cage's face staring at me like he was the guardian of my dreams. I guess love takes mysterious forms, right?"
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8. "On our honeymoon, we were dozing off in the late morning and he started shaking and making panicked sounds. I woke him up and he mumbled, 'I just felt like a ghost was settling over my body…' and then went straight back to sleep. Full snores. So, maybe I've been married to a possessed guy all these years."
9. "Husband was asleep next to me. I had stayed up reading. All of a sudden, he starts talking about how there's a vampire outside the house, still dead asleep. I thought it was funny until he described the vampire coming into our house. He said, 'He's opening the door. Now he's sneaking through the vent. Now he's in the next room over.' I woke his ass up so fast. I didn't sign up for a ghost story in my own damn house. F--k that."
10. "My husband is secretly tracking my location without telling me. Imagine finding out he's been watching my every move without my consent, it's seriously very unsettling."
11. "Before we were married she would take a lot of Polaroid pictures. They were mostly of me sleeping and eating. There were others like me doing chores or whatever. Imagine a stalker's collection of photos. The person is never aware of the photo until after it was taken. She ended up getting the first year's worth of photos framed for our house."
12. "My husband talks in his sleep. One time he rolled over toward me, chuckled, and said, 'Your bones are finally dry.' He never remembers what he says by morning but I'll never forget that one."
13. "He sometimes makes sounds like Predator in his sleep. It is not a good sound to wake up to. I wake up in terror every single time, and he's still out cold, clicking and drooling away."
14. "My husband and I were asleep when I was awoken to him sitting up with his finger to his lip going 'shhhh.' So naturally I said, 'Why are you saying shhh?' He deadass pointed to the dark corner of the room and said, 'because that man over there wants you to be quiet.' It still gives me the chills."
15. "My wife likes to jolt awake in the middle of the night claiming there are spiders in the bed. I don't even freak out anymore. I just tell her there aren't and she goes right back to sleep. The first couple of times it happened were alarming though."
16. "She laughed in her sleep in that fake evil laugh kind of way, got real quiet, then started to quietly make this high-pitched humming sound and slowly crescendoed it into a full-on, 'AHHHHHH!' She rolled over and started snoring again and had no recollection of it the next day. She hasn't done it since."
17. "My wife often sleep talks and will have conversations or respond to me when she does. One night she had fallen asleep, then suddenly stops snoring and 'wakes up' long enough to say if she dies she's going to come back and haunt me, just entirely out of the blue. Of course, I was confused and a little creeped out, so I asked her why she'd do that. She said she loved me so much she wanted to be with me always. Cute, but creepy."
18. "The creepiest thing my husband ever did was sleepwalk into the living room, stare at me with eyes wide open, and whisper my name repeatedly. I was watching TV late at night and it felt like a scene from a horror movie."
19. And finally, "One night, my spouse sleepwalked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and started having a full conversation with a jar of pickles. I'm still not sure who won that debate."
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