28 Reasons Why It's An Absolute Miracle Anyone Who Lived Through The '60s, '70s, And '80s Is Alive Today

If you're over 40 and you've ever...

1. Been almost crushed by one of these super heavy car doors...

2. Or burned the life out of your arm on one of these on a hot summer day...

3. If you've ever been flung off one of these at 100 mph...

4. If you've ever charred your legs on a slide like this on a hot summer day...

5. If you've ever accidentally stepped on one of these barefoot...

6. Or, lord help us, a bunch of these...

7. If you've ever had your shins absolutely annihilated by these...

8. If you've ever pulled this out and touched it without knowing what it was...

9. If you've ever had your feet absolutely shredded after stepping on one of these...

10. If just looking at these makes you feel pain...

11. If you've ever clacked yourself upside the head...

12. If you still have nightmare about this machine...

13. If this picture brings chills down your spine...

14. If you've ever tried to jump over this fiery pit and landed a little short...

15. If you've ever almost suffocated in a mask like this...

16. If you're pretty sure you're immune to most diseases after using one of these...

17. If you've ever burned yourself trying to fasten your scalding metal seatbelt:

18. If you still have a scar on your knee after using these...

19. If you've ever worn shorts on a couch covered in plastic...

20. If you still remember the clickity-clack of this jump rope right before it smacked the life out of you...

21. Or stepped on a bunch of these...

22. If you've ever had one of these hit you full speed upside the head:

23. If you've ever given yourself a "Mike Tyson uppercut" trying to keep this underwater:

24. If you've ever been stuck to one of these after grabbing it from the freezer...

25. If you've ever accidentally poked every one of your fingers on one of these...

26. If you've ever been whacked by one of these...

27. If you've ever had to use a bottle of this very, very painful stuff...

28. And if you've ever played with lawn darts and lived to tell the tale...

Then count your lucky stars. It's a miracle you made it this far.