Benjamin Franklin once said that “nothing is certain except death and taxes.” It is not easy to imagine non-existence, as it goes against our basic survival instincts. Where we go after we die is a question most people ponder at some point in their lives. Some turn to the strength of their spiritual beliefs to find the answers, while others resist thinking about it at all. Roman emperor and stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius said: “Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back”.
The Cannon Beach Gazette had an insightful conversation with the founders of the North Coast End of Life (EOL) Collective, Margo Lalich, MPH, BA, RN, Abigail Mcneil, MSW, LCSW, ACHP-SW, and Carolina Starrett, MFW, BA. Their unique vision, a collective approach to death and dying, sets them apart. Their mission is to “create community by connecting people, resources, and experiences to educate and support a holistic approach to end-of-life for individuals and families living on the North Coast.”
What do you want? Mark Twain said, “A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” The North Coast EOL Collective emerged from both personal and decades of professional experiences, recognizing the need for a comprehensive approach to end-of-life planning within the context of living well and ending well. Rarely are we asked, “what does living and ending well mean to you?”
Recognizing their shared passion, complementary expertise, and calling to this work, they spent nearly two years developing the North Coast EOL Collective. The collective launched on July 1, 2023. Within 48 hours of the launch, they received emails of gratitude, offers to volunteer, personal stories, and a desire to collaborate from regional and national organizations and professionals in the field.
The Collective is part of an integrative approach to death and dying. Individually or within groups, the North Coast EOL Collective offers resources and education to those curious about or wanting agency over their end-of-life experience. Personally and professionally, they know conversations, connection, and learning about death and dying can improve the quality of one’s life and create a sense of community around a profound experience we all share. Their work and offerings hold space for our shared humanity and awareness that we are all “walking each other home.” (Ram Dass & Mirabai Bush)
The collective believes in the importance of investing time and resources into advanced care planning and services that support individuals and their chosen community and family long before and during their end-of-life experience. They are “co-generational” founders who acknowledge that the one thing we all share in common is our death, yet we don’t know when or how it will occur. The pandemic highlighted the necessity of these conversations and preparations. Our ability to respond to and navigate the unexpected depends on our personal preparedness and knowledge, both offering agency over our choices and actions.
The Collective’s services are not just about individual preparation, but also about community engagement. They offer in-person and virtual advanced care planning, EOL doula support, and community outreach and education. Their monthly virtual and in-person Death Cafes, consultations, and Legacy Projects all contribute to preserving personal histories and memories. They also address grief, bereavement, trauma, and loss. Over 80% of their offerings are community benefits at no cost to participants. 100% of contributions go directly to the collective, supporting a collective approach to death and dying.
“It is not death that man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live,” said Marcus Aurelius. Are we dying to live or living to die? If we live a loving and fulfilled life, will we be prepared for a peaceful death? What matters most are our priorities. What are our hopes, fears, and final wishes? How do we want to be remembered? Being mindful of our own mortality can enable us to live more intentionally and thoughtfully. We never know when death will visit. Preparing for death can create space to live more fully and ease the burdens of our loved ones and the grief that follows any loss.
The collective’s practice is based on the belief that the North Coast EOL Collective has a collective responsibility to the community by making visible what is too often invisible.
For more information on the collective, please visit https://www.northcoasteolcollective.com/
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