With October serving as national Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), Centre Safe and community partners are joining together to spread education and prevention efforts across the region and remind the community that #Every1KnowsSome1 impacted by domestic violence.
The term domestic violence refers to abusive behaviors including degrading remarks/cruel jokes, threatening looks, constant monitoring, economic exploitation, punches and kicks, sexual abuse, and homicide. All these tactics are used by abusers to gain power and control over their victims. Unchecked, domestic violence almost always increases in frequency and severity.
Domestic violence comes in many forms including:
Physical abuse
Verbal abuse
Emotional abuse
Sexual abuse
Financial abuse
Stalking
Many victims suffer all forms of abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse may be more subtle than physical harm, but this does not mean it is less destructive to victims.
People often struggle with the fact that a victim may not leave their abuser or leave right away. Remember, we may like to think we know exactly what we would do if in a particular situation, but you never know what you would do until you are in the same situation and obviously every case is incredibly different. While it may seem like a simple decision to those outside the relationship, victims of abuse often face multiple barriers to leaving, including:
Financial dependence
Worry over the abuser getting in trouble
Fear about other friends, colleagues, and peers finding out
Desire to keep family together
Hope that the abuse will stop
Pressure from family
Denial
Shame
Lack of resources
Other types of fear
Many people believe that victims of domestic violence will be safe once they separate from the abusers. They also believe that victims are free to leave abusers at any time. However, leaving does not usually put an end to the violence. Abusers often escalate their violence to coerce a victim into reconciliation or to retaliate for the victim’s rejection or abandonment of the abuser.
Abusers who believe they are entitled to a relationship with victims or that they “own” their partners view a victim’s leaving as the ultimate betrayal. Because of this, leaving an abusive relationship can be an extremely dangerous time. This does not mean victims should stay. Living with an abuser is highly dangerous because the violence usually escalates and becomes more frequent over time. However, if a victim is planning to leave, safety planning is extremely important. Advocates from Centre Safe can work directly with victims through our hotline and assorted services.
In 2023 alone, Centre Safe supported more than 900 clients navigating domestic violence. It is on all of us to decide how we plan to support survivors, honor those lost to domestic violence, and work together to eliminate this pervasive form of abuse. I know this crime can seem so overwhelming and big, but if we choose each day to spread awareness, stand up for others, and acknowledge the normalization of this behavior, we absolutely can and will make a difference.
Events during the month include:
DVAM Proclamation – Oct. 1 at 10 a.m.
Centre County Commissioners meeting, Willowbank Building, 420 Holmes St., Bellefonte
Empty Place at the Table
Empty Place at the Table is a memorial for the lives lost to domestic violence in Centre County from 1998-2017 and as a reminder that domestic violence leaves an empty place at the table for family and friends of the loved one who was lost to domestic violence. Stop by a display to learn about the victims’ stories and honor their lives, taken too soon. You can also learn more about Centre Safe and important resources and services.
Moshannon Valley YMCA, Oct. 2-9
Penns Valley YMCA, Oct. 9-16
Bellefonte YMCA, Oct. 16-23
State College YMCA, Oct. 23-30
Smarter Parents, Safer Kids Workshops
Centre Safe and Youth Service Bureau are offering virtual Smarter Parents, Safer Kids workshops this fall. In these 2-hour workshops, you will learn about healthy child sexual development and how to address inappropriate behaviors, how to build better communication with your youth, and new skills and tools to prevent child abuse.
Oct. 3, 3-5 p.m. via Zoom
Oct. 23, noon-2 p.m. via Zoom
Register at ccysb.com/project-safe-and-smart
DVAM Karaoke – Oct. 8 from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m.
Lions Lair Lounge, Penn State HUB-Robeson Center
Centre Safe and the Gender Equity Center host a karaoke night to raise awareness of domestic violence. This event will feature songs that infer unhealthy/toxic relationships, sexual violence, and stalking behaviors, as well as songs that empower and support victims and survivors of violence.
Purple Light Campaign – all of October
Purple is the symbolic color for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Raise awareness and support victims and survivors of domestic violence by displaying purple lights outside your home, business, or organization during the month of October.
Purple Thursday – October 17, all day
Wear purple to show support for those who have experienced domestic violence. Purple Thursday aims to raise awareness about intimate partner violence and domestic violence by highlighting support for survivors and the efforts we have taken to reduce the stigma, advocate for survivors, and work for greater safety and equity for victims and survivors.
Participate by doing three easy steps:
1) Wear purple to support survivors
2) Share your photo and join in #PurpleThursday
3) Tag @CentreSafe
Light the Courthouse Purple
The Centre County Courthouse will be lit purple in honor of the month.
Jennifer Pencek is the executive director of Centre Safe. Centre Safe provides professional, confidential, and free services for anyone in Centre County, including counseling, advocacy, legal support, outreach and education, shelter, transitional housing, and safe custody exchanges/supervised visitations via its Child Access Center. Centre Safe’s 24/7 hotline is toll-free at 877-234-5050.
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