COLUMN: Caleb Williams best possible birthday present for author turning 40

If you are reading this, I am now 40. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I knew it was coming. That’s how birthdays, age, and counting works. But it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m prepared for it. It feels sort of like a freight train, and I’m just tied to the tracks, waiting for it to hit.

You see, when I was a kid, a 40-year old might as well have been 140. It sounded so incredibly old that it barely registered as an age I’d actually become. But now that I am 40…well wait, I do feel about 140 so I guess that makes sense.

I’m not really that upset about turning 40. I mean, I don’t look a day over 45, so I’m not worried about that. I only have a few gray whiskers in my beard and not many in my head (and god help my wife if she tells me she sees one), but it’s more about what’s happened in the last forty years. Or, more accurately, what hasn’t happened.

Sure, I got married to my wonderful wife. I have three terrific kids (although my three year old is a borderline sociopath, but I think all three year olds are borderline sociopaths). I’ve moved around, I’ve traveled, I’ve met fun people. I’ve golfed all over the US and in Scotland. I’m happy, healthy, have a great family, and am still a single digit handicap. Life is good!

But isn’t life about more than that? Doesn’t there have to be something else? Yes, There has to be. Because my life has a void, a gap in the sequence, a missing puzzle piece. And it’s been there my entire life. No matter how good my life is, it’s never been…full.

But that void is gone. The sequence whole. The puzzle is complete. I am full. Because Caleb Williams is coming to Chicago.

Yes, a single individual I have never met nor will ever meet has completed my life. But maybe y’all aren’t fully familiar with what he’s going to do in Chicago. Because Caleb Williams is The Truth. And everybody, and I mean everybody, is about to learn it.

I know there was a lot of hemming and hawing about what the Bears should do, but was it truly a question? If you watched Justin Fields this year and you watched any film on Caleb Williams (minus the Notre Dame game), it wasn’t a debate.

Like Taco Bell compared to, well, literally any other fast food restaurant. Sure, you can be happy with one of the others. But when presented with Taco Bell as an option, to choose anything else is evidence of some type of brain damage.

It seems appropriate that I was born the year before the Bears last Super Bowl. Basically, I’ve spent my 40 years in darkness. Forty years wishing, hoping, praying for the Bears to be good. Yes, I had a Super Bowl appearance with Sexy Rexy and an NFC title game with Cutty, but I’ve never had long-term success.

But I will now. It’ll start this year with a playoff appearance and Williams setting the Bears single season records in yards (3,838) and touchdowns (29) with one win over Green Bay (at least). Then, in 2025 a division title and NFC title game appearance. Then Super Bowl. And another Super Bowl. And another Super Bowl.

The NFL is about elite quarterback play, and Caleb Williams will give that to the Bears. Their offensive line has improved. They added a top 15 wide receiver in Keenan Allen. Their defense was already good and presumably will get better after the draft. The Bears, for the first time in 40 years, have done it all right because they are pairing everything with the best QB prospect since Andrew Luck.

And I feel like they did this all for me (and Erik Vandyck, the best PR man Beloit baseball ever saw). It’s almost like they waited 40 years to give me the best birthday present ever (besides a PS5…which would be a great gift…hint hint). I’ve earned it. I’ve watched Mike Glennon and Moses Moreno and Jonathan Quinn and Craig Krenzel. I bought jerseys for Cade McNown, Rex, Cutty, Mitch and Fields. I should be able to trade them all in and get the Caleb upgrade to be honest. But I’ve been through it. And like Andy Dufresne, I’ve come out clean on the other side.

I’ve never felt this confident before that the Bears will be great. Perhaps wisdom does come with age. This birthday, I want everyone to know that my life, finally, will be complete and fulfilled thanks to Caleb. Happy Birthday, Me. Have the best year of your life…and I hope somebody gets you that PS5.