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Just over a year ago, a friend looked at me and said the words that would forever change my perspective.

Why haven’t you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?

I was flummoxed. I had studied to be a therapist. I had practiced as a counselor for a few years. I’d been actively involved in therapy as a client. But I had never heard those four letters applied to me.

They were for the kids who couldn’t sit still, the class clowns, and the ones who were perpetually struggling to pass classes. Those letters couldn’t apply to the A/B student who managed athletics, drama club, creative writing, and an assortment of clubs and activities — could it? Still, I paused because something about this question felt oddly true.

I already know that girls and women with autism are less likely to get diagnosed. Since ADHD is autism-adjacent, I wondered if the same could be said of the overachievers who excelled despite having drastically disorganized minds. I wasn’t causing a problem in the classroom, but that’s because my problems were hidden in plain sight.

My friend listed the many symptoms he noticed. It wasn’t a criticism. He had been diagnosed in college. He was pointing out that maybe I wasn’t lazy and disorganized. Instead, I was likely overstimulated and overwhelmed. My neurodiverse brain would take one look at the chaos around me and shut down rather than try to decide where to begin.

How DOOM Piles Help My ADHD

Since I haven’t yet been formally diagnosed, I’ve been reading books and social media posts about the disorder and how to address it. I’ve been trying to see it as a benefit to my life and not just another set of challenges. Lately, DOOM piles have actually helped me deal with some of the most incapacitating symptoms.

DOOM

There’s a common saying in the ADHD world: Don’t put it down; put it away. If we put something down, there’s a chance it’s going to get lost or buried in the disarray of any number of things we sit aside and forget about entirely. If we put it away immediately, it will be where it’s supposed to be when we need it.

DOOM stands for Didn’t Organize, Only Moved, and it seems like it’s in direct opposition to this advice. When we move things from one pile to another and simply shift things around, not a lot gets done. But I came across a video somewhere online that suggested that DOOM piles could be useful in home organization. Here’s how:

• Target a specific mess: like a junk drawer in the home.
• Dump all of it into a box or boxes.
• When the energy and motivation to organize hits, take it one box at a time. One task. One drawer.

This method allows us to get a little done before our busy brains latch onto some other idea and wander off. Sometimes, I’ve started an ambitious organizational plan only to run out of motivation before I’m done. Then, I’ve just made it worse. With DOOM piles, the tasks are broken down into a manageable size.

DOOM in Action

Every night between midnight and 3 am, I decide to get my life together the next day. I have so many plans on how to best do this. They’re good plans. Solid ones. Completely reasonable.

But I wake up the next morning a whole different person. One who finds all those good, solid, reasonable plans daunting. So, they don’t get done. They’re just pretty ideas that I’ll think about again the next night, and the next.

One weekend morning, I woke up and decided that I didn’t want to let the day get away with me without doing a single thing to improve my situation. I remembered the DOOM piles, and I headed out to my recycling bin to retrieve a box. Once I had it, I selected a junk drawer in my kitchen that is often full to overflowing. I emptied the entire drawer into the box and then, feeling ambitious, I emptied an adjacent drawer into it.

I looked through the piles of junk. Most of it was batteries, tealight candles, assorted manuals, and broken crayons. There were a few other things besides. It had been a catch-all location for a while. I began systematically selecting what I wanted to stay — putting the batteries and candles in one location and setting aside the broken crayons. It didn’t take long before I realized that over half the drawer was discarded trash that didn’t need sorting, just discarding into the garbage can.

I even had the energy left over to take the broken crayons, peel off their wrappers, and place them in the molds I have for turning broken Crayola crayons into new crayon shapes. It makes me feel good to reuse them instead of toss them. It’s a fun and easy project to do with my kids.

After I was finished with the side project of crayon recycling, I still had a little energy, but I didn’t want to take on more than I could finish. I decided to address the rest of the drawers in the cabin in front of me. To be clear, that was only two drawers. I had a playlist of upbeat pop songs playing, and I got through every single box I set out to do.

DOOM in Planning

My daughter also struggles with ADHD. As does my son. Things can get chaotic around here, but my daughter has a particularly hard time managing her space. I explain DOOM piles to her. I make it clear: don’t organize them. Just move all the floor detritus into a box. We’ll sort it all later. Several boxes later, a floor begins to appear in her room — an undiscovered country these days.

Sometimes, the only task we can manage is moving the chaos into the box. We don’t have to immediately start sorting it. That’s not the point. The point is to break our tasks down into smaller, more manageable ones so we don’t feel immediately overwhelmed at the thought of doing them.

Working with ADHD, Not Against It

I am learning to work with my disordered brain, not against it. If I can hyperfocus on one small task, I know that I can achieve just enough to feel good about my progress. When I try to take on an entire room or the entire house, I know I’ll just end up feeling overwhelmed and defeated. I stop doing that to myself. I start giving myself little accomplishments to celebrate. They keep me moving forward.

My entire house is not a model of cleanliness and organization. It still skews chaotic at times. But I’m trying. I’m making the to-do list bite-sized and achievable. I let myself relish the good feelings that come with accomplishing one small, seemingly insignificant task because I finally understand that it’s not small or insignificant at all. It’s progress. And that’s far more manageable and achievable than perfection.

Originally published on Medium