Using Yoga to Cope with Chronic Pain

Photo byAnupam MahapatraonUnsplash

I have been waging a war with my body and mind. It sounds dramatic, but over the last few years, I’ve felt like I’m fighting the pain and mood changes that come with my chronic illness. I developed Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), a cyclical disorder that comes with mood disruptions and chronic pain.

In truth, I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed by a body that is healthy one moment and suffering the next. I feel betrayed by my mind that is fine until the darkness creeps in, draining out my hope. I am fighting to stay alive and get through the pain, but in the process, I’ve lost that powerful body-mind connection.

No one told me that developing a chronic illness would create this huge sense of betrayal and distrust of my own body and mind. I also feel a sense of powerlessness. Not only is my condition incurable, but it’s also not well-understood by the medical and scientific communities. They only understand aspects of it, and there are treatments for the symptoms but no fixes for the condition.

“Wait until menopause” isn’t exactly reassuring when I’m years away from it. It’s disempowering to realize that all I can do is cope and keep coping with something that brings me pain, exhaustion, anxiety, and depression every month. I’ve had to grieve for the health that I had and the things I cannot do on days when I struggle with my disorder.

That’s how I found myself in a yoga teacher training class. I want to learn how to trust myself again, but even more than that, I want to learn to love and accept myself as I am, chronic illness and all. I need to relearn my body and mind and finally make peace with them.

Yoga teacher training is so much more than I expected. It’s not just learning the yoga poses (asanas) and their Sanskrit names. I’m learning ethical practices, breathing techniques, meditation, and more. The comprehensive program is a holistic experience engaging mind, body, and spirit. Yoga, after all, means unity.

My first lesson in using yoga to manage chronic pain came barely a week after my first yoga training weekend. I was driving my children to a doctor’s appointment when I felt my moods shift and the pain begin. It can happen that quickly. It’s not just that I get sad. I feel my joy drain out. My head isn’t filled with thoughts but with a vast silence, and I can no longer connect to a sense of hope. It was terrifying, and when I started to feel it coming, I began to panic. The fear is overwhelming. Then, I remembered my training.

I decided to stop resisting it. I couldn’t stop it from coming by the sheer force of my will or the power of my panic. There was no behavioral change I could make that would prevent it. It would happen every month because that’s how premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) works. So, I stopped fighting. I deepened my breath. I began to extend my inhales and exhales, sometimes pausing in between. For about 20 minutes, tears rolled down my face, and I breathed through it.

When I stopped crying, the mood didn’t magically dissipate, and my pain didn’t stop, but I did feel more at ease. The pain increased as I went through the day, but I kept breathing through it. I’m on a variety of vitamins and supplements meant to manage my diagnosis, and I took them faithfully while paying careful attention to my breath.

When it came time to do a yoga flow, I elected to do one geared toward menstrual discomfort on Yoga with Adriene, a YouTube channel I follow. I took myself through the restorative yoga poses, each meant to relieve the discomfort. I wasn’t up to my usual yoga practice, and I didn’t feel bad about needing to shift to a less demanding one. Instead, I reminded myself that this is what self-care looks like.

Later, I trusted my body enough to go to bed early. I knew I needed the extra rest more than I needed to stay up reading or watching television. I spent the entire day making decisions based on what my body needed at each moment. Instead of feeling shame and anger that my ill body couldn’t function at the levels of my healthy body, I showed love and acceptance for my body as it endured the discomfort. I kept taking good care of it, and I no longer felt like I was fighting myself for any sense of comfort.

Research has shown that yoga can help with all types of chronic pain. It can ease the discomfort associated with fibromyalgia, lower back pain, arthritis, migraines, and more. Here are a few things to remember when using yoga for chronic pain treatment.

#1 Yoga is for Everyone

Yoga is meant to be inclusive. It originated in India, but the truth is that many yoga spaces in the United States often cater and market to white women, excluding BIPOC and Desi individuals. A movement to decolonize yoga has helped bring it back to its roots and has taught many of us how to appreciate yoga without appropriating it.

With that being said, yoga is meant for everyone. Any gender, race, ability, sexual orientation, size, or other demographic. Poses can be modified to fit individual needs and abilities. You don’t need to be flexible to do yoga. You just need to show up.

#2 Yoga’s Many Benefits

Yoga can help with chronic pain, but it also comes with many other benefits. Studies have shown that yoga can help manage stress and improve sleep. It can also help yoga practitioners develop more flexibility, strength, and balance. It can even improve heart health.

#3 Not Just an Exercise

Yoga isn’t purely a physical exercise. It’s a whole lifestyle. It involves breathwork, meditation, and becoming more conscious of both body and mind. While it can be used purely for fitness, it wasn’t intended for this purpose.

For yoga to help with chronic pain, it should include more than just the poses. The poses (asanas) are only one of eight limbs of yoga. The other aspects of the practice can also help to reduce pain as well as the stress that often accompanies it.

While the physical poses can bring some relief, it’s important to incorporate breathing techniques, meditation, focus, and the ethical practices of yoga. One ethical practice involves avoiding harm to ourselves or others (Ahimsa). To practice this, it’s important not to push ourselves beyond our physical or mental capabilities as it is self-harming. In other words, to practice yoga is to practice self-love.

I wake up each day, and I am no longer at war with myself. The pain will come. Of that, I have no doubt. But I will breathe through it. I’ll honor my body’s needs by lightening the load of my daily tasks and moving through restorative yoga poses. I will use mindfulness and meditation to stay present with my body, loving and accepting it as-is, not as-I-wish-it-could-be.

Originally published on Medium