Duffy: 5 tips for coping with grief

Did you know about 2.5 million people die in the U.S. annually, leaving an average of five grieving people behind?

In February 2023, I became one of those people. Nothing could have prepared me for the grief of losing my father. The wave of shock, pain and fear of letting go have shaken me to my core, but one thing remains unchanged: I am a natural caretaker.

Between my 6-year-old daughter, family in Seattle, friends and co-workers in Phoenix, I often put the needs of others before my own. It’s what I do as a clinician and it’s woven into my philosophy of sharing in the human experience: through genuine connection we can support each other and find strength in our shared experiences.

But when my father passed, the roles were suddenly reversed, and I realized how hard it is to let others help me. Don’t get me wrong, I am forever grateful for their love and support, but for me, receiving is harder than giving. I’m not the only one either; caretakers everywhere struggle with receiving, too.

National Grief Awareness Day, Aug. 30, is a chance to raise awareness about the different ways grief impacts our lives, and to highlight helpful methods for navigating the grieving process.

We all experience and cope with grief differently. Some of the most common reasons people experience grief may include the death of a loved one or pet, job loss, financial struggles, pregnancy or pregnancy loss, divorce or getting news of a chronic illness or condition. Each journey is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

Symptoms of grief can include crying, mood swings, disrupted sleep, loss of appetite, anger, numbness and overall sadness. Over time, those feelings can increase to anxiety and depression. According to an article from Psychiatric Times, 40% of grievers meet the criteria for major depression one month after their loss and 24% still meet the criteria after two months.

Below are some of the steps that helped me grieve and support the loved ones around me.

Lean on Others Who Care

Grief can feel isolating and while the instinct may be to shut the world out, surrounding yourself with people you trust and respect can help. Whether it is a friend, family member, mentor or someone else, the ability to open up about how you feel will go a long way in getting your emotions off your chest.

Offer Support

If someone you know is grieving, the idea of trying to help can feel overwhelming or intimidating. Many times, simply showing up and listening are the most powerful acts of compassion you can provide. Be ready to hear their true feelings, as raw and unfiltered as they may be, perform simple acts of service to alleviate the burden of decision-making, and be comfortable with not knowing what to say. Your presence and empathy will speak volumes.

Stick to a Schedule

Grief can interfere with your normal daily life. It’s important to try and stick to your routine to help regain a sense of control and regulate your emotions. It can be as simple as going to bed and waking up at the same time each day or trying to take a walk around the neighborhood every morning.

Take Care of Yourself

As difficult as it may feel, prioritizing your physical and mental health is crucial when navigating any type of grief or loss. Try to exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and eat nutritious meals to fuel your body and mind when you can. Self-care also can include things like keeping up with hobbies, doing arts and crafts, or embracing relaxation techniques like meditation or yoga. Doing things you enjoy can help you occupy your mind and stay focused on the present moment.

Seek Professional Support

Talking with a therapist can not only help you better understand your thoughts and feelings, it also can guide you through actionable steps on the path forward.

Editor's note: Rebecca Ann Duffy, LPC is clinical director at evolvedMD. To learn more about griving, how to cope and resources available, visit www.evolvedMD.com .