Depression Doesn't Discriminate: Asking for Help You Need
- Former pastor Mark Dance, 59, spoke about his battle with clinical depression in a recent interview, and credited his family, church, and faith for helping him through adversity. Now he’s working to inspire others to seek help when needed when it comes to mental health.
- New York City Presbyterian Pastor Tom Evans previously spoke with SurvivorNet about how faith can help people cope with the complex emotions that come with cancer or any type of health condition.
- Keeping tabs on your mental health and seeking treatment if necessary is important for all. This doesn’t necessarily mean traditional therapy because while it may be really helpful (even life-changing) for some, it’s not for everyone.
- There are many ways to address mental health issues. Options may include meditation, practicing mindfulness, talking with a therapist, joining a support group, and taking medication, such as antidepressants.
Former pastor Mark Dance, a 59-year-old who is based in Dallas, Texas, is garnering praise for speaking up about his battle with depression—something he says his church and faith helped him move past. The dad of two, who worked as a lead pastor and church planter for 27 years, spoke with Fox News Digital in a recent
interview about his mental health journey and urged others not to self-diagnosis and to get help when needed.
RELATED: Pastors Are Struggling With Their Emotional and Physical Health Why Are People Who Are Supposed to Minister Us in Declining Health? Dance, who now works as a pastor advocate for GuideStone, the nation's largest faith-based mutual fund company, told the news outlet how he battled clinical depression for three years during his decades-long career.
Recounting how his mental health issues began approximately 15 years ago, when him and his wife were heavily involved in ministry and raising their teen son and daughter, Dance explained to Fox News Digital, "I noticed that I had become different. I was avoiding people, when I used to love being with people. "And it became difficult to sleep, eat and make decisions." Dance recalled being in a "three-year fog," a time-frame which caused him to lose weight.
RELATED: Check out SurvivorNet's Mental Health Resources He explained, "I was working way too much, and using ‘the God card’ as an excuse. I was a 'churchaholic’ who refused to receive the gift of a day off and did not honor the Sabbath. "I was neglecting myself, and it just all caught up with me." And although he's felt like this in the past, he admitted, "But this time, I was stuck for a long time."
More Mental Health Resources
Dance ultimately contacted his family doctor and was diagnosed with clinical depression and prescribed medication, a decision which led him to take more time for himself and regain his health. His experience also sparked his interest in helping other pastors get help when they are feeling overwhelmed. He continued, "My clinical depression was equivalent to a common cold compared to some other types. Depression is kind of like cancer in that regard ... there are different levels. "In my case, it was diagnosed early and was treatable."
Talking about how pastors are not immune to adversity in life, Dance said, "We deal with the same issues, health problems, marriage challenges, problems with kids or money. "But it is more difficult for us to ask for help because it's counterintuitive for us as caregivers." He noted, "About one out of four pastors will experience a mental health challenge. And I just happened to be one of those." Dance insists that members of the clergy need help just as much as anyone else in this world when they're struggling with their mental health. In an effort to inspire others to take charge of their mental health and seek help when needed, he said, "It's usually not a big freight train that runs you over," "It can start with lack of sleep, or a dramatically increased or decreased appetite. It can be very subtle. As I tell pastors, the only thing between you and help is your pride. Dance urged others, "Don't self-diagnose and don't hesitate to ask for help. God has not called us to be competent in everybody else's profession ... if you’re a pastor, it’s OK not to be a mental, physical or financial health professional. Just be a pastor and let other people help you." In Dance's case, he turned to his family for support, as well as his church and faith in his time of need. "Church is a place where you can grow in all areas, not just one. For me, church became a place where I could receive help from my own members. And that's the experience I've had for the last 36 years of ministry, if the pastors ask for help, the church members will reciprocate," he explained. He even said God was a part of his "self-care" routine, adding, "He's the one who designed us. He knows how to help us stay well. I learned to become more physically, mentally and spiritually healthy, through the process of my mind being renewed by the Lord and His people."
The Power of Faith
Relying on faith is quite common amongst cancer patients coping with their diagnosis or those coping with mental health issues. A study
published in Cancer includes data that found "69% of cancer patients reported praying for their health" compared to "only 45% of the general U.S. population." Cancer psychologist
Dr. Andrew Kneier , who helped co-author "
Coping with Cancer : Ten Steps Toward Emotional Well-Being," also published an article in Stanford Medicine, alongside Rabbi Jeffery M. Silberman, about the impact faith can have on those battling cancer. "A person's faith or spirituality provides a means for coping with illness and reaching a deeper kind of inner healing," Kneier and Silberman said. "Coping means different things to different people: it can involve finding answers to the questions that illness raises, it can mean seeking comfort for the fears and pain that illness brings, and it can mean learning how to find a sense of direction at a time of illness. Religious teachings can help a person cope in all of these dimensions," Kneier and Silberman continued.
WATCH: Turning to Faith During a Cancer Journey. New York City Presbyterian
Pastor Tom Evans tells SurvivorNet about the importance of finding ways to cope with the complex web of feelings you may be experiencing after a challenging health diagnosis, such as cancer. "It's important to reach out in a simple prayer to God, even if you've never prayed before, you don't know what to say, a heartfelt plea, 'God, help me, be with me,'" Pastor Evans told SurvivorNet. "You can reach out to God, and you can reach out to people, your friends and, family, and say, 'I can't do this on my own. I need you.' It's in that willingness to be open and to receive that we can find something deeper that we never would've encountered without this hardship," Evans continued.
Mental Health: The Basics
The term mental health refers to both our emotional and psychological well-being. Our mental health can affect how we think, feel, and behave. Certain triggers like stress, traumatic events, or change in your physical health can affect mental health. It’s really important to keep tabs on your mental health and, if necessary, seek treatment. This doesn’t necessarily mean traditional therapy because while it may be really helpful (even life-changing) for some, that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Problems with mood and overall mental well-being can be attributed to several factors. For some people it’s genetic, while others may be experiencing a response to some sort of stressor or past trauma.
How to Fix Relationships When Depression Hits – A Survivors Guide In order to keep your
mental health in check, it’s important to be aware of signs, which can be subtle, that there is something affecting your mind. These signs may include:
- A change in eating or sleeping habits
- Losing interest in people or usual activities
- Experiencing little or no energy
- Numb and/or hopeless feelings
- Turning to drinking or drugs more than usual
- Non-typical angry, upset, or on-edge feelings
- Yelling/fighting with loved ones
- Experiencing mood swings
- Intrusive thoughts
- Trouble getting through daily tasks
Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychologist, explains how to be "realistically optimistic" These symptoms can be wide-ranging and vary a great deal from person to person. Everyone experiences grief differently, for example. However, if you are feeling unusually sad, on-edge, or like you’re no longer interested in activities you used to love, know that there are many treatment options available and many different, healthy ways to help you cope.
Coping With Depression
Dr. Scott Irwin , a psychiatrist and Director of Supportive Care Services at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, says it's crucial for patients to talk to their care team about their mental health. "We all get depressed from time to time, have a sad day, feeling down and blue — that's part of normal human emotion, part of normal life," Dr. Irwin explained. "Some of us, when we're dealing with difficult things such as a diagnosis of cancer, may be sad or down or blue more often. And sometimes it gets to the point where that depression can be a little bit overwhelming, and we help them through therapy, through non-medication interventions." There are many ways to address mental health issues as a cancer survivor. Options may include:
- Meditation
- Practicing mindfulness
- Talking with a therapist
- Joining a support group
- Medication, such as antidepressants
Medication
When doctors and patients together decide that medication is necessary, it's important that doctors consider many different factors about their patient and their lives. One way doctors can tailor mental health medications for their patients is through genetic testing. Psychiatrist
Dr. Lori Plutchik says genetic testing through companies like
Genomind can help doctors understand how likely it is a patient may respond to different types of psychiatric medications. "Doing the genetic testing has absolutely transformed the landscape of psycho-pharmacology," Dr. Plutchik told SurvivorNet. "It's something that I highly recommend for anybody who is taking medication."
Marianne Duquette Cuozzo Shares How Art Helped Her Through Dark Times Dr. Plutchik also explained that genetic testing can be specifically helpful for cancer patients because it may help avoid trial and error when it comes to choosing a mental health medication that does not interfere with their cancer treatment. "So, a person who is dealing with this and may have to go on chemotherapy has already enough on their plate that they don't really want to start dealing with trial and error with medications," she said. "So, it gives me information about which medications are likely to work without having problematic side effects, and it also gives information about interactions between any of the psych medications that we choose and the chemotherapy agents that they may be taking."
Support Groups
Whether you're coping with an illness, an emotional problem, or life transition, a support group can be a place where people in the same boat, or a similar situation, can come together. But maybe you're a little unsure or skeptical about joining a group. What will it be like? Are you expected to share your story?
Dr. Amy McNally, gynecologic oncologist with Minnesota Oncology, tries to reassure her patients that chances are, they'll derive some benefit. "I think in a support group you're going to find women who are in similar situations but yet can share their unique stories," she says. "Just being there is worth it. You don't have to share a thing. You can just sit and listen, or you can be part of the conversation and offer your thoughts. And it can be different every time you go, it's your choice as to how or whether to participate and what you decide to get out of the group." McNally thinks it can be helpful and comforting to be around people who know what you've been through, or are going through, and that in and of itself is reason enough to try it out.
Meditation
Regularly meditating allows people to start to become more aware of the emotions in the physical body and the thoughts running through the mind, to acknowledge their thoughts as they arise, and then gently let them go. Shannon Masur, a colon cancer and Lynch Syndrome survivor, describes this as "when a thought comes in, to feel it, feel the fear, but let it go after a few seconds." All of this is said to result in an overall reduction in stress and anxiety in the body. It may also help patients to control problems such as pain, difficulty sleeping, tiredness, feeling sick and high blood pressure. For help getting started with meditation,
here's a guided session to try .
WATCH: A Guided Meditation for the SurvivorNet Community Overall, don't forget to prioritize your mental health if you are going through a stressful situation. You might feel like your mind is the least of your worries, but it's important to know just how big of an impact your mental well-being can have on your health as a whole.
Contributing: SurvivorNet Staff 
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