Opinion: Permanent supportive housing in Denver not a homeless shelter

Fusion Studios.Photo byDavid

I often find myself explaining to people that I live in permanent supportive housing. Many readers believe that I live in a homeless shelter for free.

I do not live in a homeless shelter. I have a lease, and I pay rent. My building is owned and managed by Colorado Coalition for the Homeless. There are staff here such as case managers, therapists, property managers, maintenance, security, doctors, and others. All these people work together to keep me stably housed.

Some people here do not pay rent. But because I have an income, I pay 30% toward rent up to about $1,200, which is what it costs per month to live here. I have paid as much as $945 for my share and as little as $0 when I first moved in and did not have a job yet.

Some wonder, what is permanent supportive housing? Am I in a mental institution? Sometimes it feels that way. But I can come and go as I please. I can have visitors to my apartment. So where does the support come in?

A really bad morning

Photo byyoussef naddamonUnsplash

I will give an example from two days ago. I woke up and immediately began having technical problems, which always sends me into a rage. I got an error message on my computer and then my phone wouldn’t power up. I panicked, angry, and emailed my case manager and his boss that the world was falling apart, and I’d be better off dead.

Now, that reaction might seem a bit extreme. But when you have mental illnesses like schizoaffective disorder bipolar I type and chronic PTSD, it can be difficult to control your emotions. When I think how far I have come since the hallucinations and delusions when I was unmedicated it is remarkable. Even my health care providers say that. So, I suppose it is easy for people to think there is nothing wrong with me. So why am I in permanent supportive housing?

Online trolls aggressive

When I had that meltdown the other day my case manager was knocking on my door in 20 minutes. We talked about some challenges I was facing and he helped me come up with solutions. Several people have begun to leave lies about me in the comment streams of my articles. Their language is insulting and demeaning and their claims are false. Many trolls like to say I'm not really a news person. I have a LinkedIn profile detailing all of my 37 years in the news business. I have experienced great success, even now. I have had a wonderful career, won several awards, and am respected by my peers. My case manager reminded me of this. My therapist also called and reminded me that online trolls are cowards.

I like and appreciate the attention I get here. You don’t experience homelessness without being all alone. If anyone really cared about you, you wouldn’t have ended up homeless. So, to suddenly have a staff of people concerned about your well-being feels affirming. As much as I complain about Fusion Studios, I always have said that the healthcare and case management I receive here is top notch.

Why I am still here four years later

Many readers criticize me for having lived here four years. This is my home. Again, I have a lease. I can live here 50 years if I choose. This is not a “homeless shelter” or “free.” It is my home.

If I wanted to move out of here tomorrow and rent a room somewhere, I could do that. I must make less than $27,000 annually to qualify for my voucher. I am well under that limit. Again, it is a lifetime voucher. In fact, I distinctly remember a Coalition employee telling me the day I moved in, “You’ll never be homeless again.” It for sure was music to my ears.

I cannot imagine living on the street ever again. But even with the long hours I work, I do not make enough for a market rate apartment. Without the Coalition I would be renting a room from a stranger and there would be no security. And there would be no one to email when I panic or have a problem or am upset about something. And what if something happens to my income stream and it suddenly dries up? Would you risk that happening and possibly becoming homeless again if you did not have to? Why would I give this up?

I became homeless for a reason. My mental illness when untreated became brutal to live with. Nobody wanted to be around me. Everything was a conspiracy. Nobody would listen. I isolated myself and spiraled out of control, with no one checking to see how I was doing. I do not want that to ever happen again. I feel confident in my sanity these days, but I also know what is possible. For me, permanent supportive housing still makes sense four years later. And there is nobody holding a stopwatch telling me my time is up.