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Elderly Woman Tells 21-Year-Old She's Asking for It Because of What She’s Wearing
By Mustafa Gatollari,
12 days ago
TikTok | @ellazahra_
"I walked onto the train and sat down and I heard an older lady say, 'and they wonder why they get r***ed,' Ella Zahra ( @ellazahra_ ) writes in a text overlay in a viral TikTok posted to her account, stating that the elderly woman intoned that somehow women who are victims of sexual assault are only bringing that violence upon themselves because of the clothing they wear.
This seems to beg the question — maybe the problem has to do with culture and men being raised by their parents to not be pieces of s---?
Ella, continues her video, which begins with her looking into the camera, but then it transitions to her standing up and addressing the woman.
There’s a lot of things that I wish I’d said to that woman that I didn’t because I was in pure shock.I honestly can’t comprehend how someone could have this mindset and say something so disgusting. For a second I did question the way I was dressed and thought could I have been more modest and then I was like f that I can dress however I want and I can’t let that woman have the power to ruin my evening. I was too shocked to even mention that I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and the way I dress is for ME (but even if I was single, I could still wear wherever I want) That woman was basically saying that if I get r***d its my fault. Surely in 2024 we should all know that r**e has nothing to do with the victim and everything to do with the r****t!!! Please no one ever blame yourself and WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT (and be safe 🥺) #fyp #foryou
"When you said I wonder why they get raped I hope you weren't talking about me," Ella says to the woman she's confronting over the comment.
"You girlies walk around with very little clothes on, looking beautiful under these men, they look at you and they wanna be with you," the older woman tells her.
Emma rejoined, "I know, but I should be able to wear what I want."
The elderly woman continued, "You know you don't take care of yourselves and cover up a little bit, that's what worries me."
Emma responded, "Well, I think what the worry is the man."
She went on to explain that blaming victims for being raped by a man isn't the issue — that men should be the ones taking responsibility, and punishment, for raping a woman: "If they feel that they should rape someone, it's nothing to do with me."
The polemics continued, as the elderly woman on the train explained: "Not all men are like that. They don't think the same way as us."
"I guess it's your generation isn't it," Emma replied, but clarified in another overlay that she regretted saying this bit: "I shouldn't have said this bc that is no excuse for what she said."
"I guess so," she says again, looking into the camera and widening her eyes. She then pantomimes screaming into the camera and pens further, "I was smiling here bc I was in shock, but that was the worst thing I've heard anyone say in my 21 years on this earth," she clarified.
At the end of her video, she takes a video of what she was wearing: a form fitting mid-thigh skirt along with a cropped cheetah print long sleeve top. She then turns to the side and protrudes her chest before going back to showing the front of her fit.
Instead of popping off at the woman at the moment, she, in what seems to be a spirit of the staircase situation , penned a lengthy caption filled with all of the things she appears to want to have said to the woman while on the train.
"There’s a lot of things that I wish I’d said to that woman that I didn’t because I was in pure shock. I honestly can’t comprehend how someone could have this mindset and say something so disgusting."
Ella went on to state that the woman's words, for a bit, did make her re-think the outfit that she put on: "For a second I did question the way I was dressed and thought could I have been more modest and then I was like f that I can dress however I want and I can’t let that woman have the power to ruin my evening."
She didn't tell the woman that she only decides to put her clothes on for herself, but it seemed that in the moment, the only shallows she was dealing with was the fact that someone thought she was dressing improperly: "I was too shocked to even mention that I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years and the way I dress is for ME (but even if I was single, I could still wear wherever I want)."
She went on to further detail the problem with the woman's commentary: "That woman was basically saying that if I get r***d it's my fault. Surely in 2024, we should all know that r**e has nothing to do with the victim and everything to do with the r****t!!! Please no one ever blame yourself and WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT (and be safe)."
One person applauded the way that she ended up confronting the elderly train passenger: "You confronted her sooo well... my social anxiety could never."
However, someone else said: "U were too nice ab it."
Ella responded that she was ultimately happy about the way she handled the situation: "I’m not gonna let someone bring out an ugly side of me, no one holds that power over me, and if it did it would show the kind of person I am. I did the right thing, I got my point across without."
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