He Lived 93 Years: 4 Wise Rules of Life from the Most Influential Psychotherapist Albert Ellis

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Albert Ellis, considered one of the key figures in the field of psychotherapy, had an invaluable impact on psychological science with his innovative approach. He provided deep insights into human behavior and practical tools for achieving emotional well-being and happiness.

Having lived a rich and productive life until age 93, Ellis worked until his last days.

Today we will look at 4 wise rules for a happy life, inspired by the wisdom of Albert Ellis.

1. Rule of responsibility.

"If you don't want to suffer, stop demanding that life, others, and yourself live up to your desires. Your desires do not rule the world."

This may sound harsh, but it is proven in practice. No one is obliged to fulfill your wishes. Forgetting this leads to apathy, depression and despair.

Another wise quote from Ellis on this subject:

"The best years of your life are the ones when you decide that your problems are your own. You don't blame them on your mother, the environment, or the president. You realize that you are in control of your own destiny."

Taking responsibility for your emotions and actions is essential. Ellis believed that we can control our emotional reactions by changing our thoughts and beliefs. Instead of blaming external factors for our circumstances, we should acknowledge our ability to shape our own lives. By taking responsibility, we can choose perspectives that improve our emotional well-being and make us happy.

2. The rule of self-acceptance

"Give up the demand that you are only worth something if you are loved. Your worth does not change depending on whether your lover loves you. Stop thinking that love gives you value, and instead work on accepting yourself completely."

Ellis emphasized the importance of self-acceptance for a happy life. He believed that self-acceptance involves accepting oneself completely, including one's flaws. Instead of striving for perfection or seeking approval from others, he encouraged the development of self-compassion and unconditional self-acceptance.

This principle reminds us that we deserve love and respect no matter our imperfections. Practicing self-acceptance can increase self-esteem, reduce self-criticism, and promote inner peace and contentment.

3. Rule of action

"If you don't like something in your life or in the world around you, and you want to change these circumstances - take action (instead of getting upset because everything is not as it should be). The world is changed by actions, not demands!"

Ellis emphasized the importance of adaptability and flexibility for living a happy life. Life is unpredictable, and rigid thinking can prevent us from coping with challenges and finding joy. Ellis advocated a flexible mindset that allows us to adapt and remain open to new perspectives.

By letting go of rigid beliefs and adapting to them, we can approach life's challenges with resilience, creativity, and optimism. This principle helps us cope with life's ups and downs more easily, finding joy and happiness even in the midst of difficulties.

4. The rule of rational thinking

“Too many people fail to realize that it is not external events or circumstances that create happiness; rather, it is our perception of events and ourselves that will or will not create positive emotions.”

Ellis emphasized the importance of rational thinking, arguing that our thoughts and beliefs strongly influence our emotions and behavior.

"Change your thoughts by acting contrary to them," he advised.

Often the cause of unhappiness is not the events themselves, but our attitude towards them, our fears and worries.

By challenging negative and self-destructive thoughts and replacing them with positive and rational alternatives, we can overcome self-imposed limitations, reduce anxiety, and achieve a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment.

May Albert Ellis's profound insights guide us to more fulfilling and joyful lives.

What do you think about this? Which rule did you like the most?