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    6 Reasons Why You Allow Others to Treat You Badly

    2024-08-18
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    Almost all of us have probably found ourselves in a situation where we allowed someone to treat us badly. And maybe you are the one who allows this to happen again and again. If you recognize yourself, understanding why you do it can be the first step to change.

    Most often, we ourselves allow our friends, relatives and good acquaintances to treat us badly. We all have friends! Some have many; some have a few of the closest ones.

    So, why do the people closest to us sometimes treat us badly? Do we deserve it? Does it mean that our friends are bad people? Or that we are bad people? So what could be the real reasons?

    6 Reasons Why You Allow People to Treat You Badly:

    1. People treat you the same way you treat yourself.

    If you don't respect yourself, if you think badly of yourself, if you think you're worthless... guess what other people will do too! If you lack confidence and self-esteem, you won't be able to convince others that you are truly worthy of respect.

    You are treated the way you believe you deserve to be treated. By allowing others to define who you are and who you are not, you give your power to others. Yes, that sounds harsh.

    By allowing others to mistreat you and humiliate you, you silently accept their words and false ideas. And by resigning yourself to the belief that life is hard, difficult and cruel, you limit yourself only by fading away inside day after day. It is all about your own choice.

    2. You are desperate for friends.

    You hang out with the wrong people because you're afraid of being alone. You tolerate people who treat you badly because you think bad friends are better than no friends. That's complete bullshit because people who treat you badly can't be your friends at all!

    You cannot build a strong friendship if you allow yourself to be humiliated and treated negatively.

    You won’t feel better if you’re surrounded by people who aren’t right for you. In fact, you’ll end up feeling lonelier. Because it’s not the quantity that counts, it’s the quality. When they violate your boundaries and mistreat you for no reason, you need to kindly but firmly raise the issue and let them know that it’s unacceptable.

    3. You always give people the benefit of the doubt.

    We all have bad days from time to time. You tend to rationalize your friends' words and actions by thinking, "It's not his/her fault... All this crap that's going on in his/her life has made him/her so unhappy. That's why he/she is rude to me." And sometimes, that can be true.

    However, many people may simply take advantage of your kind nature. If you are always kind, understanding and forgiving, people around you tend to exploit you and not take your feelings into account. This is why setting boundaries is extremely important. You must let them know that this is not okay.

    4. You want to prove them wrong.

    When your friends and acquaintances treat you badly, you still keep in touch and behave well to show that you are really good. To make them realize that you are better than they think. To make them love you.

    But that's not the way! Constantly forgiving people who don't deserve forgiveness; doing nice things to those who treat you like trash, you won't make them love you more.

    You can't keep putting other people's desires above your own just so they'll realize you're actually "good." You have to understand your value in this world.

    5. You are afraid of conflicts.

    Confrontation is never pleasant, but hiding from conflicts by putting up with those who treat you badly is not the answer. Standing your ground and not allowing others to hurt you or mistreat you is the only way to earn respect.

    Let's go back to point 1: "People treat you the way you treat yourself." If you are not prepared to defend your dignity, you cannot complain that your friends do not respect you.

    6. You think you can help him change.

    Sometimes people believe that unconditional love will make someone change. You may think that you have the knowledge, patience, compassion, or time to support another person and help them change. But more often than not, we want other people to change because we don’t want to change ourselves. We don’t want to get out of dependency, we don’t want to separate, we don’t want to grow up. We don’t want to support ourselves and take care of ourselves.

    Ultimately, everyone deserves to be treated with respect, kindness, and dignity. By recognizing and addressing the reasons why you allow yourself to be mistreated, you can take active steps to build healthier, more satisfying connections with others, and to cultivate a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

    What do you think about this? Who knows these reasons? Share in the comments!


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    Comments / 39
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    Roberta Reynolds
    08-21
    I chose my battles. You find these people are just pathetic and not worth your time.
    Dulk Bedlam
    08-20
    some people enjoy being mistreated
    View all comments
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