7 Golden Rules from Psychologist Irvin Yalom

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Irvin D. Yalom, a renowned psychiatrist and psychotherapist, made significant contributions to the field of psychology with his deep understanding of human nature and the complexities of existence. Through his extensive experience and insightful observations, Yalom formulated basic principles that can lead people to more fulfilling and meaningful lives.

In this article, we will look at 7 simple rules of life proposed by Irvin Yalom.

Rule 1: Live now. Death is inevitable.

We are all going to die, soIrvin Yalom recommends recognizing our mortality and the finite nature of life. Faced with the understanding that life will end sooner or later, people begin to value time and their own lives.

Have you ever wondered why people become completely different people when they face their own death? Maybe you don't need to face death, but simply understand that it's time to stop putting off your own life, dreams and goals, and start living the life you want to live.

"Life must be lived now; it cannot be put off forever."

In a world with so many distractions, people forget what matters most – why they live. Irvin Yalom encourages people to embrace the present. By focusing on the here and now, a person can develop a deeper connection with themselves and the world, which will lead to a more fulfilling and happy life.

" Leave no unlived life behind you. "

Lesson 2: We create everything ourselves

"We create all our experiences ourselves. And everything that we ourselves have created, we ourselves can also destroy."

Yalom's second rule encourages people to realize the enormous power they have in shaping their own reality. Your thoughts influence reality. You can cure yourself of depression. You must allow yourself to be happy and stop worrying about events that may never happen.

Try the next time you start your "mental chewing gum" about who said what, who thought what, what will happen if you get fired, tell yourself STOP, I'm stopping thinking about it and I'll think about... (start thinking about your new hobby, about how wonderful it is that you can see and hear, about how beautiful the sky is...). Be surprised! Admire! Be curious!

Your life depends on you, on your thoughts, choices and actions. Understand this – change your life.

Rule 3. Develop yourself

"The more a person has within himself, the less he demands from others"

Irvin Yalom encourages us to develop inner wealth and self-worth. When you value yourself, notice the wonderful qualities that you have inside, you will not need the approval of others. By developing self-awareness, self-love and a deep understanding of your values, people are much more easily realized and manifested in the world, find their favorite thing, their recognition.

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Rule 4. Accept others

"It is better to let people be what they are than to mistake them for what they are not."

Let people be who they are. Irvin Yalom advocates accepting and understanding people. Instead of imposing expectations on others, it is better to let them be true to themselves.

Why do you think you have the right to change or re-educate someone? Maybe it's time to "take off the know-it-all costume" and admit that there are no ideal people, that everyone has good and bad qualities, and for some reason they are needed in this life.

Rule 5. Build harmonious relationships

"It is one thing to exist for another, and quite another to be in an equal relationship with another."

According to Irvin Yalom, meaningful relationships are the foundation of a fulfilling life. Maintaining relationships with others helps develop a sense of belonging, which is the most basic human need. We all want to love and be loved, we want to find our soul mate, we want meaningful communication and a good time.

Rule 6. Don't suppress your emotions.

"You can choke on a swallowed resentment."

It can also be said that one can choke on swallowed anger, guilt, and rage.

Know how to express your emotions, you can’t hide them and think that everything will be as before. Resentment left unattended can fester and eat away at you from the inside. By acknowledging these emotions, talking about them, defending your personal boundaries, you will prevent the accumulation of toxins and poison inside you, and they will no longer be able to harm your relationships and hinder your personal growth.

Rule 7: Stop worrying about everything

“A person does not choose his illness, but he chooses stress – and it is stress that chooses illness.”

Irvin Yalom's last rule emphasizes the relationship between stress, choice, and illness. Although a person may not choose their illness, they have free will regarding the stress they allow into their lives. Understanding that stress shortens our lives, leads to many illnesses, gives people the opportunity to make conscious choices and learn to resist stress and anxiety. It is so important to learn to let go of the situation, not to dwell on it, to trust God. There is a legendary phrase by Scarlett O'Hara that helps in different situations:

"I won't think about it today, I'll think about it tomorrow."

Which rule did you like the most? Share in the comments.