3 Good Qualities That Make You More Enemies: Remarque's Good Words

Life is full of contradictions. On the one hand, we are taught to be good, kind and hardworking. On the other hand, these very qualities – kindness, caution and hard work – often cause suspicion, envy or even anger.

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What are the 3 positive qualities that help you make enemies?

1. Kindness

Kindness, a quality celebrated in all cultures, is often misunderstood. We like to think that by being kind we build bridges. But sometimes kindness breeds resentment.

Imagine two women, friends since childhood, one of whom is successful and the other is struggling. The successful woman rents out her apartment to her friend when she is going through hard times. A year passes, and when it is time for the successful woman to return her apartment, she is met with anger.

"How dare you throw me out? Where would I go? You don't need money, you have plenty of it," the angry friend says indignantly.

This story illustrates an uncomfortable truth: When we provide help, the recipient may feel entitled to more, or even resentful when the support ends.

Some people mistake kindness for weakness and instead of gratitude, they harbor bitterness. The sad reality is that kindness not only strengthens relationships, but it can also lead to their rupture when boundaries are crossed.

Erich Maria Remarque wrote: “Time does not heal. It does not mend wounds, it simply covers them with a gauze bandage of new impressions, new feelings, life experience… And sometimes, having caught on something, this bandage flies off, and fresh air gets into the wound, giving it new pain… and new life… Time is a bad doctor… It makes you forget about the pain of old wounds, inflicting more and more new ones… So we crawl through life, like its wounded soldiers… And with each year the number of poorly applied bandages in our souls grows and grows…”

2. Caution

Caution is often mistaken for timidity, and those who live cautiously, avoiding unnecessary risks, are often ridiculed. The phrase "you only live once" is addressed to them as if caution somehow robs life of its richness. But is this really so? A person who makes balanced decisions, who does not rush headlong into chaos, often avoids many pitfalls.

However, over time, these cautious people become the object of quiet envy. The risks they avoided, the crises they avoided, are now evidence of their wisdom. But instead of admiration, this foresight often makes them envious. People begin to resent the fact that these people did not fall into the same traps. Why?

Because those who have been in trouble want to believe that experience is the best teacher, but it is not always so. Sometimes the best wisdom is not to have suffered in the first place.

“The strongest feeling is disappointment… Not resentment, not jealousy, and not even hatred… after them, at least something remains in the soul, after disappointment – ​​emptiness…” Erich Maria Remarque

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3. Hard work

Hard work is considered the cornerstone of success. From a young age, we are told that effort pays off. Yet society often admires geniuses, not hard workers. The self-made man who works day in and day out to improve his life may face snide remarks or veiled insults.

Take, for example, the backlash against some writers who painstakingly produce masterpieces year after year. Critics call their work "graphomaniac," unworthy of praise in comparison with literary giants like Tolstoy or Dickens. This discontent is explained by a simple fact: persistence is not as attractive as talent. People forgive natural talent, but they are less forgiving of those who achieve success through sheer determination.

This irony is especially apparent in the age of social media, where people who consistently work toward their goals are often derided as unworthy of the rewards they receive. Yet hard work is the trait that keeps society moving forward. Thomas Edison, who famously said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration,” understood this better than most. Hard work may not always be sexy, but it is necessary.

Erich Maria Remarque once said: "Modesty and conscientiousness are rewarded only in novels. In life, such qualities, as long as someone needs them, are used to the end, and then they are simply spat on."

This harsh truth reveals a bitter paradox: sometimes being nice means causing even more hostility from others.

A bitter pill to swallow

Why then do positive qualities such as kindness, caution, and hard work so often lead to conflict? The answer lies in human nature. Humans are quick to perceive the negative. We forgive others for their shortcomings, but often resent those who embody virtues that we ourselves find difficult to maintain.

That's why folk wisdom advises caution when sharing your happiness: "Happiness loves silence. Keep silent about your joy ," the proverb goes. The reality is that not everyone will be happy for you, and the qualities you value in yourself may be the very qualities that make others uncomfortable.

So how do we navigate a world where positivity can so easily backfire? Balance is key.

Kindness does not mean allowing others to take advantage of you. Being cautious does not mean missing out on life's opportunities. Hard work does not require approval from others.

Ultimately, the lesson is not to stop being kind, careful, or hardworking. Rather, it is to recognize that these qualities will not always be appreciated.

As Remarque reminds us , “Life is not a novel ,” and our positive qualities do not always receive the rewards we expect. But they shape the world around us, creating ripples that we may not always immediately notice.

In a world full of contradictions, maintaining these qualities is both an act of defiance and an act of faith.

What do you think about this? Share your experience in the comments!