7 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissist

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We've talked a little bit about narcissistic parents in general and narcissistic mothers in particular. Today I want to go a little deeper into this topic.

Narcissistic parents are a disaster

Without a doubt, if you look through the eyes of strangers, it turns out that the narcissistic parent is the sweetest and most wonderful creature. A sensitive and responsive person, kind and affectionate, and God knows what else. And only at home, behind closed doors, does his true nature emerge.

So, 7 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissist

Sign 1: You're choosing the wrong partners

Adult children of narcissists usually repeat the scenarios laid down in childhood and choose destructive (read: toxic) partners for themselves. In this way, they try to "replay" the scenario laid down in childhood, so that in the end "mom" or "dad" become kind and warm, begin to love and respect. And, of course, this does not happen, and adult children only run into new trauma.

Sign 2: You May Be a Narcissist Yourself

The tendency to narcissism is not inherited genetically, but is very well transmitted through behavioral factors. Narcissistic parents are likely to raise a similar narcissist, who largely repeats the behavior of their parents.

Sign 3: You sacrifice your sense of self

Children of narcissists usually do not know and understand themselves very well, and in an attempt to adapt to the needs of others, they often sacrifice their own sense of self, their selfhood.

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Sign 4: Your Inner Critic Can't Be Shut Up

Oh yes, this infection grows out of the endless criticism of narcissistic parents and eventually settles in the heads of their children as a separate substance. And this is not the so-called good criticism that encourages growth and change for the better. No, this is bad criticism that only causes endless shame and a sense of guilt.

Sign 5: You are practicing an avoidant attachment style

In contrast to adult children of narcissists who choose toxic partners, others may avoid romantic relationships altogether, believing that they are too difficult, too intimate, and not at all right for them.

Sign 6: You try to be nice to everyone around you.

This is also a common "legacy" of narcissistic parents. Since as a child you had to tiptoe around your mom/dad and catch every word and every wish, adult children carry this same way into adulthood. They please everyone around them, often to their own detriment.

Sign 7: You have difficulty recognizing and expressing your own feelings

Childhood spent with narcissistic parents is a very difficult and complex childhood. People who have experienced this were often forced to "swallow" their own feelings, suppress them as much as possible and under no circumstances let them surface. The same behavior can be seen in adult children of narcissists: they do not know how to recognize their feelings and do not know how to convey them.

Growing up with narcissistic parents is a horror, but not a death sentence. Modern psychotherapists successfully help cope with the consequences of such a childhood, overcome most of the problems and free oneself from the toxic narcissistic "legacy"