How To Reframe Rejections For Successful Relationships

Personal and business relationships revolve around rejections. Rejections can hurt everyone. They feel terrible and taste bitter. Since they hurt badly, nothing seems to be good about rejections when they happen. However, rejections are essential for growth.

Photo by Ihor Malytskyi on Unsplash

The first reaction is usually to label a rejection as unfair. While it’s happening, the feeling of rejections metaphorically touches the soul deeply and breaks our hearts painfully. The primitive part of our brain makes us feel miserable when we experience rejections. The experience can be significantly more painful in personal relationships.

Despite all these bad feelings, rejections are necessary for our survival and future performance. Most of us don't see the benefits when being rejected. Looking at the lives of successful people, we can witness a blessing after each rejection.

We can only see the benefits of rejections from hindsight. Benefits can only look obvious after days, weeks, months, or even years after.

The key reframing point is to understand that the universe, or some of us call it our higher self, protects us from future damage.

Even though we cannot perceive the benefits most of the time, we should appreciate being rejected from a relationship or a work position.

Being aware of and understanding this fact is critical to dealing with rejections successfully. Reframing begins with this awareness and understanding.

Rejections have emotional and logical aspects. Rather than focus on the emotional aspect of rejection, reframing them logically can produce better results.

We can start by asking two essential questions. What does this rejection mean to me? How can I use this as a tool for my growth?

When we are rejected, we immediately feel inferior. But as Eleanor Roosevelt mentioned, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." The keyword is consent in this wise quote.

Even though we only know our own one or perhaps close friends or family members, everyone with no exception on this earth experiences some sort of rejection. Some people experience them on a small scale and some on a large one. Some people rarely experience them, and some frequently. Life is not a straight line. It is like infinity signs. Constant ups and downs occur.

Not everyone is equipped to cope with rejections. Those who look at rejections as emotional experiences make them significant issues. They react with stronger emotions. Ultimately, negative emotions ruin their joy of life.

The biggest problem with rejections is taking them personally. Some rejections may have hardly anything to do with our identity. Most of them occur due to factors beyond our control.

Business organizations can make successful employees redundant. There is no point in taking professional redundancies as personal as they are beyond the workers' control.

Partners reject each other due to various reasons. Relationships are complex. Rejections at the partnership level can occur due to economic, psychological, spiritual, ethical, and several other reasons.

Needless to say, rejections from beloved ones hurt most. Their rejection can cause us to lose the meaning of life. Rejections from our loved ones can create unpleasant emotions and affect our mental health. The most common uncomfortable emotions in close relationship rejections are fear, anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Reframing rejections with powerful prompts and questions can be a good start. We may ask whether the reason for rejection is worth worrying about. Understanding what we really lose can give us valuable insights.

Rejections may come from several ends. Looking at the rejection objectively can empower us.

We need to determine whether they create potentially harmful implications for our reputation and integrity. These kinds of rejections can be difficult and certainly require attention to our actions and behaviour.

Most of the time, rejections are on simple matters which have nothing to do with our identity, capability, or performance.

Another powerful technique in dealing with rejections is looking at them from the rejectors point of view. For example, a boss who has the pressure to meet business goals may apply some measures and make some trade-offs.

When we are rejected for a promotion or a new job application, in this case, we immediately feel emotional. Emotions are real. Their purpose is to notify us things are right or wrong. Denying and suppressing them does not serve any good purpose. However, living with uncomfortable emotions does not produce any good outcomes.

Dealing with uncomfortable emotions with logic can improve our mental health. In other words, experiencing emotions is necessary, but rather than suppressing or denying them, we can acknowledge them, understand the sources, and deal with them using affirmative actions.

Repetitive use of this technique can improve our emotional fitness. Courage comes from acting despite fear and anxiety. By acting with courage, it is possible to take rejections with understanding and calmness.

Sometimes rejections can be in our heads. We imagine future denials. This is a common anxiety disorder. The fact is that no one knows what will happen in the future. We cannot control the future. Things may change at any moment without our control.

An excellent approach to deal with imaginary situations can be taking calculated risks and continuing the momentum with affirmative actions. Living with the anxiety produced by imaginary rejections can be detrimental to our mental health.

By understanding the purpose of rejections and accepting them we can start the healing process. Time is the best medicine. Forgiveness is a crucial element in healing. By forgiving the rejector, we can reframe the rejection and reduce its implications and impact.

Because everyone feels rejections and most of the rejected people become successful, we can change our perceptions of rejections.

Reframing rejections as blessings in disguise is a powerful approach to deal with them. By reframing rejections, we reduce their impact now, but we can also improve our relationships with rejectors more effectively in the future.

Who knows if this recent rejection you experience would be a blessing in disguise for you?

Thank you for reading my perspectives.

Follow me to see more articles like this.

...

Follow