Why a Neuroscientist Chose to Become a Mystic

The day when butterflies attacked my stomach, envisioning a traumatic incident, Benjamin decided to change his career and research path, bringing tears to his father's eyes.

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During scientific exploration, an extraordinary transformation occurred in the life of a brilliant neuroscientist, Benjamin. This captivating tale unfolds when a sad yet serendipitous encounter leads him to mysticism, leaving behind a promising neurobiology and medical science career.

Set against a backdrop of intellect, friendship, and a mystical party, this story delves into the depths of intuition, tragedy, and the pursuit of a deeper understanding of the human soul.

Prologue: Moving from Body to the Mind

When I met Ben, he was a young neurobiology lecturer. Despite the difference in our roles, with him being the instructor and myself the student, we were similar ages.

I started my doctoral studies a decade after completing my first degree due to undertaking two postgraduate studies in different disciplines.

Ben was a child of a wealthy family. Yet he had never been a spoiled kid. His desire to become a medical doctor pleased his parents, who supported him by enrolling him in a private school and covering his educational expenses.

After successfully obtaining his medical degree, Ben pursued a residency in internal medicine, having developed a profound fascination with the intricacies of the human body. His goal was to treat internal diseases and lower the suffering on Earth.

However, despite securing a position in a reputable hospital after graduation, he found no joy in his work. His father proposed the idea of opening his private clinic, which initially made him happy. However, he realized the job had become monotonous despite his interest in treating patients.

Money was not a concern for him. Instead, he yearned for knowledge and sought to comprehend the mechanisms of life. Ben also had a deep passion for art (music, painting, dance, poetry), allowing him to understand the human mind.

His heart now yearned for an understanding of the mechanisms of the human mind. He believed that the only way to quench his thirst for knowledge was first to explore the intricacies of the brain and solve the mysteries of the mind with science and art.

He desired to become a neuroscientist. His medical background allowed him admission into a neuroscience Ph.D. program. He immersed himself in branches of neuroscience (neurobiology, neuroanatomy, neurophysiology, neurochemistry, neurogenetics, and neuroimaging).

In four years, he completed all of his coursework in these disciplines and earned his doctoral degree in neuroscience. This achievement and new knowledge brought him great happiness.

His father assumed he would open a neuroscience lab or a neurology clinic. Contrary to his father’s expectations, Ben lost interest in working as a scientist or clinician in his new discipline.

This confused his father, but he kept supporting him as he believed Ben knew what he wanted. Ben admired his father’s unconditional love and support.

Ben yearned to be a lifelong learner as a researcher, embracing a role as a professor within the academic world. This was how I met him, as he assumed the position of a lecturer in the role of an associate professor in the department where I was undertaking my doctoral studies.

Ben possessed an articulate demeanor and remarkable interpersonal skills, which drew me to introduce myself at a Christmas party.

He vaguely remembered me from the challenging questions I had posed, to which he had always responded with amiability and patience. His knowledge of neuroscience captivated me, and he found my technology background intriguing.

He requested my assistance in developing algorithms and data structures for his experiments, aiming to better understand the human brain at the cellular and molecular levels.

His supportive father happily offered assistance in creating prototypes for some brain activity products he designed using combinatorial innovation principles with the help of our mutual friend Hector.

The prospect excited me significantly since the compensation Ben and his father provided me exceeded what I earned from my full-time job at the time. It was a consultancy side hustle for me for a few years.

Throughout the process, we formed a connection and became good friends, engaging in daily conversations that resonated with both of us.

He educated me in the details of neuroscience while I helped him with the intricacies of cognitive and information science. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Ben, being an art aficionado, was an active member of various artistic communities. His exceptional emotional intelligence facilitated the formation of friendships, as he approached everyone with empathy and compassion.

I admired his interpersonal skills. He introduced me to remarkable friends who added meaning to my life.

A Party Which Changes Everything

One day, he invited me to a special party, explaining its unique details as we were close friends. He mentioned famous singers, dancers, actors, and artists would be in attendance.

This gathering was exclusively for well-known people within his community who possessed open minds. He informed me Zelda (pseudonym) would be present. I chose this name here (the second character of this story), cemented in my memories.

Zelda was a highly educated opera singer with a charismatic personality. Everyone in our circles adored her. Ben revealed that many affluent people desired her appealing physical appearance and unique voice, which mesmerized listeners.

I felt honored and privileged to receive an invitation to this special party, considering I had only observed the venue's grandeur from the outside during my walks through the affluent seaside neighborhood where I often strolled with my wife, my friend Brendon, and our lovely dogs.

Butterflies in the Stomach

Before the event, knowing my lifestyle, Ben mentioned the possibility of alcohol consumption and drug use.

He acknowledged my preference for abstaining from such substances and clarified that moderate usage by others would not pose an issue. He confirmed that similar parties always ended peacefully, enriching his life.

I, however, assertively and politely declined any personal experimentation with drugs. Furthermore, I firmly opposed the presence of inebriated people at parties, as their behavior left an unpleasant impression on me.

Ben understood and assured me that these parties were purely for enjoyment and intellectual pursuits, never resulting in anyone losing control or engaging in undesirable behavior. The participants were all mature and educated people.

Despite the anticipation of attending the party, I experienced a fluttering sensation in my stomach, which I couldn’t explain then.

A few days before, I informed my wife about the event and gave her the address. She remembered the location from my description and wondered why she had not been invited jokingly. Upon explanation, she understood the circumstances.

The butterflies continued. Initially, I attributed these intense sensations to guilt stemming from my wife’s absence and the potential differences in our perspectives at such parties. However, the intensity of the butterflies exceeded these reasons.

The Enigmatic Party

Upon entering the spacious building, I was astounded by the exquisite decor and harmonious ambiance. It was meticulously designed to ensure an enjoyable experience for hosts and guests.

Conversation filled the air, with everyone eagerly anticipating Zelda’s arrival. I, too, was curious, as I had never encountered her in person before. I wondered why everyone kept repeating this woman’s name but didn’t dare to ask anyone, including Ben.

As Zelda stepped into the building, a tidal wave of around fifty people surged forward, their eagerness palpable as they sought to embrace and shower her with kisses.

With grace and charm, Zelda reciprocated every greeting, enveloping each person in a heartfelt hug accompanied by her radiant smile and infectious laughter.

She was the epitome of charisma, leaving an indelible mark as the most captivating person I had encountered thus far. Witnessing the incredible energy she emanated left me in awe.

Yet the butterflies within me refused to subside. My mind associated alcohol and drugs with incidents from my experiences during the 1970s and 80s, which amplified my unease.

Zelda graced us with mesmerizing arias, accompanied by a talented pianist. The audience thirsted for more, craving physical contact with her.

Subsequently, dinner commenced, but Zelda was notably absent. I wondered why she had not joined us at the dinner table. Again, I had no courage to ask anyone, including Ben.

As thoughts crossed my mind, I saw a fleeting glimpse of Zelda leaping from an airplane without a parachute. At that moment, a surge of sadness shook my psyche, intensifying the fluttering sensation. I attempted to repress my feelings.

The dinner lasted for two hours. The hosts organized other events, including performances by famous pop singers, a magician, a poetry recital, and comedians.

These events continued for about eight hours, entertaining the audience. Throughout the evening, Ben stayed by my side, aware of my unfamiliarity with this crowd.

He introduced me to his neuroscientist and physician friends, all of whom proved approachable and friendly. They all shared their business cards and wanted to be friends with me. It was a fantastic networking event.

Brief Discussion with Ben for a Desperate Comfort

Overwhelmed by the internal disturbance, I asked Ben if we could have a brief private conversation. He attempted to assuage my anxieties, focusing on calming my mind with his soft voice and friendly touch on my shoulder.

I clarified that the issue lay not within my mind. I genuinely relished exploring the environment and thoroughly enjoyed interacting with the guests, admiring several among them.

My intuition, however, conveyed wrongdoing or impending disaster. Ben delved into theories, connecting them with my prior experiences and memories, and associated them with the effects of a caffeine tablet I had taken around 10 PM to stay awake for the night.

While I acknowledged the potential role of caffeine in amplifying anxiety, I firmly emphasized that my unease stemmed not from my brain, intellect, or perception. I cherished the environment and the individuals present.

Despite the intellectual conversation, Ben’s friendly words alleviated some of my anxiety, but the underlying feeling persisted. Reluctant to disturb or spoil the party, I thanked him for trying to calm me.

Shadows of Tragedy Amid the Festivity

The festivities continued with numerous entertaining events. Ben kept staying close to me and kept smiling now and then.

Around 7 AM, before I was planning to leave, as the merriment reached its peak, a piercing scream abruptly shattered the atmosphere. I heard ambulance sirens approaching the building. I thought an accident or fire happened nearby.

Then, a distraught voice declared Zelda’s absence, expressing the painful reality that she was no longer with us. The woman’s cries reverberated through the entire premise, intensifying the turmoil within my stomach.

I turned to Ben, desperately seeking an explanation for what was transpiring. Unable to offer any immediate answers, after ten to fifteen minutes, he led me to a quiet corner, grasping my arm gently. I knew something tragic had happened. The butterflies were signaling me.

With tear-filled eyes, a sight I had never before witnessed in Ben, he struggled to find composure. The sight struck me as exceptionally unusual. I thought I was in a nightmare and wanted to wake up.

The butterflies within me prevented me from articulating the questions flooding my mind. But I managed to ask, “Are you okay, Ben?” Although I yearned to ask additional questions, seeing others weeping rendered me momentarily speechless.

Ben couldn’t say he was okay. Tears in his eyes intensified.

Solving the Mystery

Ben and I retreated to a secluded area. He disclosed that Zelda had passed away. The news hit me badly, momentarily overshadowing the butterflies.

With disappearing butterflies, now, it was my turn to provide solace to Ben. But first, I implored him to explain the circumstances surrounding her untimely death.

He shared, in a soft tone, that Zelda had overdosed on a new synthetic drug offered by her friends, which would make her ecstatic but caused her to lose consciousness. I wondered why someone charismatic like Zelda would need man-made drugs for euphoria.

Several medical doctors and paramedics confirmed Zelda’s passing. Taking her to the hospital would have been futile, as the law mandated the presence of a coroner to investigate the incident, with witnesses required to provide statements to the authorities.

Ben gently grasped my arm and suggested that I might wish to see Zelda for the last time before the coroner's arrival.

Despite my awareness that encountering her lifeless body would undoubtedly disturb my psyche, I consented to see her.

The entire room seemed frozen, even the women who had previously screamed and cried. Nobody dared to touch her lifeless form. Unlike her entrance to the building, there was no hugging, no kissing.

An hour later, the coroner arrived, accompanied by several police officers. They began their investigation, questioning all of us.

From my perspective, all I could recall was Zelda captivating the audience with her arias and witnessing the embraces and kisses exchanged with everyone present.

Only a few people who had used the drug with her remained in the building. The friendly hosts said farewell to the rest of us.

A few days passed without any communication from Ben, leaving me hopeful that I would encounter him during our upcoming neurobiology class.

More Butterflies in the Stomach

Upon arriving at the university, I learned that the neuroscience class had been canceled due to the lecturer’s unavailability.

The return of the butterflies, now more intense than ever, troubled me. Attempting to call Ben proved futile. He did not own a mobile phone in those days and had no intention of acquiring one for personal reasons.

With no response upon visiting his home, I decided to drive to his parent’s home. When I rang the bell, Ben’s father opened the door and graciously invited me inside upon learning that I was a friend and student of Ben.

With a stoic demeanor and articulate speech, he informed me that Ben had lost interest in studying the human mind, having grown disillusioned with the human body.

Sensing that he wished to share more, I maintained an attentive posture, focusing intently on his words. To my relief, the conversation took a different turn, lowering the intensity of butterflies.

A Glimpse of The Path Less Traveled — The Fusion of Science and Spirituality

Ben’s father revealed his son had understood that the human body and mind were inconsequential without the essence that binds them as humans.

This was not a surprise to me as several times I attempted to convince Ben on this matter. Although Ben had initially avoided discussions regarding the soul in his neuroscience studies, Zelda’s death had triggered an epiphany. He realized that without the soul, the human body and mind held no value.

Ben conveyed this revelation to his father, who, in his 80s, shed a few tears. His father’s tears touch my heart and soul. To my surprise, his father had several conversations about the soul with Ben.

My curiosity became insatiable as I fixated on every breath his father took, holding the key to my yearning for assurance as I was expecting something else.

At that moment, nothing mattered more than the confirmation that Ben was still alive. Then, his father, wiping his tears, explained it succinctly.

I learned that Ben had decided to leave Australia, embarking on a new journey to India to study the human soul in an institute training mystics, a venture for which his father provided financial support.

With relief and sadness, I dared to ask whether Ben would continue as our lecturer. To my dismay, the answer was a resolute “no.”

Ben had made the profound decision to resign from his position, bidding farewell to the world of academia and neuroscience.

In his pursuit of knowledge, he had reached a crossroads where the intricacies of the human body and mind could no longer satiate his insatiable thirst.

Instead, he chose to venture on a spiritual journey as a mystic, delving into the depths of the human soul, seeking answers that lay beyond the realm of science, which only tries to figure out the human body and mind methodically.

This story had a second part when I met Ben after several years of intense studies in mysticism (metaphysics), telling me why he stayed away from science and technology.

In the next part of the story, I’ll cover a heartfelt conversation when Ben expressed his belief that modern science had become enslaved by technology, a precarious position for advancing human evolution. His poignant words resonated deeply within me.

Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.