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We are a species that loves to put our heads in the sand. Every generation thinks they’re better than the last. Without any historical reference points, they pat themselves on the backs and congratulate themselves on becoming something “better” than the last…but is that really the case? When one looks at the patterns of narcissism within our species, it becomes a questionable assertion to make.

Are we becoming more narcissistic? New studies are shedding light on some disturbing patterns of personality across the world and the various generations that are a part of it.

A study reveals some interesting patterns.

In 2019, researchers at Michigan State University published a study. Comprising more than 750 participants, it was one of the first of its kind. Its goal? To measure narcissistic traits across generations. Researchers wanted to know — was one generation more narcissistic than the other? More importantly, were narcissistic traits getting worse in upcoming generations?

This new study, one of the largest of its kind, revealed some interesting patterns. Specifically, it lifted the lid on the big secret that wasn’t a secret at all. Specifically, the study revealed that the Baby Boomer generation was the most narcissistic of all current generations —landing about 30% higher in the grandiose and delusional traits that many are familiar with.

This is what makes so many Baby Boomers so aggressive and domineering. They inherently believe in the rightness of their existence and their entitlement to the world. Because they rank so much higher in stereotypical, grandiose traits, they are more likely to impose their outlooks on others and believe in toxic ideologies about themselves and the world.

The patterns revealed by the study didn’t stop there, however. While Boomers certainly rank high in the worst narcissistic traits, a whole different range of narcissism trends has also been uncovered.

How narcissism changes across generations.

As we learn more and more about narcissism, we are learning specifically about how it changes shape across generations. Some generations are more narcissistic than others; the studies clearly outline this reality. But is that the entire story? Are we really getting less narcissistic with time, or is narcissism changing shape and getting better at hiding in the shadows of our frail human egos?

The Baby Boomers

In the study mentioned above, the Boomer (or Me, Me, Me) generation was shown to rank highest in the narcissistic traits most commonly associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. These are the aggressive, grandiose, and overbearing versions of narcissism most know best. Because these traits were so high, they were more likely to impose their beliefs on others.

These traits have created an entire generation of people with incredibly fragile and incredibly immense egos, which have dictated everything from the way they vote at the polls to the way they parent their children. This generation’s decisions are more likely to be rooted in expediency and personal benefit.

It makes sense when you consider their children, Gen X, and Millennials, an overwhelming number of which are now speaking up about their experiences being raised by this generation. Things were tough, and love was viewed as something that should be tougher. The result? New generations of people are traumatized by the appeasement of their parents’ egos.

Generation X

Generation X, so often left out of the conversation, presented an interesting split. These are the children of the early Boomers, and they were raised in a strange limbo between limited awareness and a total lack of empathy. No one was on their side, and as a result, many of them were raised in brutal environments. Some even became the abusive monsters who raised them.

Gen X’s narcissistic traits were only moderately lower than Boomers and it’s not hard to see why. The space between them is limited, and Gen-X lacked the resources of later generations to identify help and the issues they were facing.

There are many within the generation that are high in the same narcissistic traits as their Boomer parents. They hold similar beliefs and view themselves in a similar way. As they move through the world and are denied the attention or success they were told they were entitled to, they can become bitter, and their grandiose self-view can get triggered.

Millennials (Gen Y)

Millennials used the study above to point to Boomers and their undeniable narcissism. Without a doubt, the study revealed that Millennials (Gen Y) were less narcissistic than Boomers or Gen X — but only to an extent. The traits focused on in the study were those of grandiose narcissists. Boomers were higher in those traits. But what of the rest of the narcissistic spectrum?

An interesting trend can be observed for those who pay close attention to the internal details of the study. As the numbers for the millennials came in, it was definitely acknowledged that they had lower grandiose traits. That couldn’t be said for vulnerable traits.

Raised in an age of social media and mental health awareness, millennials learned how to center themselves and bury the most fragile elements of their egos in a different way. Vulnerability is now in fashion and can be used to garner large audiences that swell the ego (making true healing harder and less desirable).

This is when it becomes clear that we have to view these shifts in narcissism through a different lens in different generations. More importantly, it’s crucial to acknowledge that Millennials did not show a lack of the same grandiose traits as Boomers — just a lower occurrence of those traits. Narcissists lurk everywhere.

Generation Z

Gen Z, who came into their majority during a time of social unrest and pandemics, again flipped the script on what it means to be narcissistic. Upon initial examination, it became clear they had an even lower occurrence of grandiose traits. Continuing a pattern that began with Millennials, the greater part of this generation seems to have turned its back on grandiose behaviors.

But again, that is not to say that narcissism does not exist. We are now looking at a generation that has learned to associate ego with their political identities. Virtue signaling and moral grandstanding have become the primary means by which many can control others and control the public’s perception of them.

Superficial, short-term, meaningless altruism has become the language of the narcissistic members of Gen-Z. It’s what they celebrate in the celebrities they raise up as extensions of themselves (Taylor Swift) and it’s what they celebrate in themselves (see Gen-Z influencers).

Is it better or worse than grandiose narcissism? That is anyone’s guess. The results are much the same. With their superficial morality, Gen-Z forces its views on others and swiftly destroys anyone who refuses to adhere to their (sometimes delusional) perceptions of reality.

Generation Alpha*

A generation at the start of its bloom, what will become of Generation Alpha is anyone’s guess. Will they continue the cycle accelerated by Millennials and Gen-Z? Or will they fall into line (as some have predicted) with the authoritarian values of the earlier generations? Much of that will come down to the parents that Millennials and Gen-Z choose to become.

Parents who choose compassionate, reasonable, and firm methods of parenting are the least likely to produce narcissistic children. Of course, some of that also comes down to biology. Narcissism (specifically NPD) is not a traumagenic disorder. There are external and internal elements at play.

Should parents of today choose to be cold, aloof, and authoritarian with their children, they could find a rise in the toxic traits we so often associate with this life-altering disorder. Likewise, those who raise their children under the shadow of their own egos or layers of mental, emotional, and physical abuse can reap the same results.

What does this mean in the long run?

It’s vital that we don’t turn our backs on the patterns that are developing in front of us. This could be a turning point for our entire species. By recognizing the generational damage done by narcissism, we could take steps now to eliminate these behaviors in ourselves, our families, and our futures. Choosing healthier traits, learning about our minds and bodies, and taking a new approach to parenting are all practical approaches.

1. Choosing better traits: Narcissistic traits deserve to be left behind as we advance as a society. For that to happen, though, each of us has to become responsible for its destruction. That starts on a personal level, with each of us developing a revulsion in regard to the range of toxic narcissistic traits — in favor of healthier behaviors. This includes choosing emotionally healthier partners to build families with.
2. Taking a different approach: Studies continue to reveal the importance of parenting in the formation of narcissists. Abusive, neglectful, authoritarian, and permissive parents are more likely to create children who develop NPD. That means that there is a need for current parents to adopt a compassion-based, gentle parenting approach that encourages empathy while discouraging narcissistic behavior.
3. Complete re-education: Without a doubt, there is an imperative need for us to re-learn what we know about our own psychology and biology. So much narcissism begins in a slow slide into psychological toxicity. We get comfortable with those behaviors and create more of them. More of us need to know how our bodies, minds, and emotions work so we can be healthier for ourselves and our offspring.

The steps above could bring about major changes not just on a personal level, but on a societal level as well. Focusing first on the eradiction of narcissism in our personal bubbles, that growth could expand to create communities of people who are more engaged, more empathetic, and more capable of building a society that works for all.

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Because the truth is that this is a trend that affects all of us. As narcissistic traits increase, entire countries can be thrown into social, political, and economic turmoil. Narcissism affects more than intimate relationships. It affects the quality of life for the entire world.

Now is our chance to take the initiative and eliminate these traits from our world. Imagine living among people who were higher in compassion, higher in emotional intelligence. Imagine being able to truth the people you love because you know you’ve invested in someone who has stamped out their worst, most destructive traits. That could be the end game for all of us.

Our futures won’t be decided down the road, in the hands of our children. It will be decided right here, right now, in how we choose to deal with the narcissistic threat that is staring us in the face. Each of us is a part of this brave call to action. What path are you going to choose?

Chopik, W. J., & Grimm, K. J. (2019). Longitudinal changes and historic differences in narcissism from adolescence to older adulthood. Psychology and Aging, 34(8), 1109–1123. https://doi.org/10.1037/pag0000379