You could tell them you're not expecting anything in return, not even a response, but you want to let them know that you know what you did.
You don't need to send it that minute, either.
The important thing is to get the ball rolling on doing something you should have done years ago and take that first step towards making amends.
But remember, you have to approach the other person without expectations, understanding they might not forgive you right away - or ever.
If the episode was nasty, the other person might still be hurting even after many years.
It's important to respect their reaction, whatever it is.
Have a good cry.
Have a messy, loud, unruly cry into your pillow, or if you're alone, a good old-fashioned, toddleresque scream-cry.
You'll be glad you did.
There are so many reasons to have a big weep-fest.
Having a good cry can:
Release stress
Resolve pent up emotions
Help your body heal from trauma
Soothe physical pain
Create greater happiness by clearing negative emotions
Prevent depression
It even lowers cortisol levels because emotional tears contain higher stress hormones than when your eyes are just watering.
There are even clubs in Japan where people go specifically to cry.
A five-minute cry might not be the answer to all your problems, but it can get the healing ball rolling if you've been holding your feelings in for a long time.
It might be enough to release a blockage so you can start a more honest relationship with your feelings.
Forgive someone.
Is there someone you've held a grudge against for years that you just don't want to let go of?
Someone who burned you so bad that you hate them and feel like you always will?
Yes, decide that you're going to forgive them and then make a plan. Even if you feel like you can never do it, just take that baby step and entertain the idea.
Because forgiveness and healing go together like soul-soothing PB&J, you can use many self-help techniques to help with this.
In Covid times, it'll have to be someone in your household or bubble, but that's okay.
They might need it as much as you do.
If you're alone, you can close your eyes and envision someone you want to hug and then hug yourself or a pillow.
Studies show that visualization is a great way to trick your mind into believing something, so if you imagine the person you want to be hugging, your brain might just think you are.
You can also visualize yourself or your inner child for your five-minute hug-fest.
When I lived alone, I did this. It helped me cope with the feelings of abandonment and isolation I struggled with.
Visualizing holding my inner child and self-hugging was a way to nurture myself in my darkest hours.
I went deep into my mind and held that little girl the way I wished someone had held her in the first place.
It was one of the ways I parented myself as an adult.
In fact, hugging is so powerful, even a ten-second snuggle can have benefits.
Giving yourself those hugs can be just what you need to help yourself through a hard time when there's no one else around.
So there are some small steps you can take to a better life, and each one you take gets you closer to where you want to be - no matter how small.
Baby steps are recommended for everything from dieting to drug rehab.
These are some problems that taking small steps can help with:
For everyone else, if you find yourself stuck in a funk, or clinging to old pain even though you've worked hard to move past it, look at this little list and see if you can't find one small action you can take today to help you keep moving in the right direction.
Sometimes five minutes well spent can lead to substantial healing and significant life changes.
Even if your skeptical, why not try one or two of these things, the worst that can happen is you waste five or ten minutes.
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