Bucs rookie WR Jalen McMillan leans on grandparents for strength

TAMPA, Fla. -- For Tampa Bay Buccaneers rookie wide receiver Jalen McMillan , his late grandfather's visits typically come in subliminal form. A butterfly streaking across the sky. A ladybug slipping through a crack in the car window and perching on the car radio panel. He's learned to pay attention because if he blinks, he might miss it.

But in the case of his first NFL preseason game at the Cincinnati Bengals , he couldn't find anything in or around Paycor Stadium that spoke to him. So, he summoned his grandfather by name -- Herle Gene McMillan -- and had a quiet conversation with his spirit after the national anthem ended.

"I talked to him and God," McMillan told ESPN of "Opa" -- the German informal word for grandfather. "I just talked to him and asked him for strength. I told him to enjoy the show ... to get his popcorn ready."

The third-round draft pick out of Washington, who has dazzled in training camp, ran six routes with two catches for 23 yards. It was enough for quarterback Kyle Trask , who started the game, to call him a "certified baller."

It also gave his grandmother, Angelika McMillan, a moment of respite back home in Fresno, California. McMillan and "Oma" -- the German informal word for grandmother -- coped as the two-year anniversary of her husband's death passed on Aug. 20.

Opa died at the age of 68 after a bout with lung and esophageal cancer. When the grief became debilitating, Oma moved into McMillan's college apartment during his junior year.

"That's my rock. I love her to death," McMillan said. "She helped heal me."

Now, he's helping her heal from afar in Florida, living out the NFL dream they shared with his mom, Belinda McMillan-Haener, Stephan Haener -- who married McMillan's mother when he was 9 - and his siblings Lauren, 12, and Carter, 7.

It will become real when Oma takes a seat at Raymond James Stadium on Friday night for the preseason finale -- a dress rehearsal for the regular season with all the starters expected to play. She'll stay for the home opener against the Washington Commanders ( Sept. 8 at 4:25 p.m. ET, FOX ) as well.

"She's in for a treat to be able to experience this with him," McMillan-Haener said of Oma. "I know it brings him so much pride and joy to be able to do that for her."

In the Bucs' three receiver sets, McMillan will line up opposite Mike Evans with Chris Godwin in the slot. And with the attention those two routinely garner from opposing defenses, McMillan's words to Opa could foreshadow a breakout season: "Enjoy the show."

ONE OF McMILLAN'S earliest memories of Opa, who specialized in heavy equipment operation in the United States Army and met Oma while stationed in Karlsruhe, Germany, was learning how to ride a bike. McMillan was 6 or 7 and with no training wheels.

"He was telling me to pedal, and I was too afraid to pedal, and then I crashed," McMillan said of Opa.

"He got frustrated at me. He was like, 'Goddamn, Jaylen.' I'm bleeding, crying," McMillan said laughing, before pointing to his left knee. "I got a scar right here from it."

It was a leap of faith that went awry, but it taught McMillan an important lesson: "You've just gotta go."

Their bond only continued to grow, and Opa's willingness to be vulnerable -- talking about everything from mental health to preparing for the future -- rubbed off on McMillan.

"For him to be able to overcome a lot of the struggles ... and to give me the life that I had and to put pride to the side and teach me things -- I mean, that's just a testament to he was," McMillan said. "So I try to honor that in everything I do."

But one thing Opa didn't reveal was the extent of his suffering: Stage 4 cancer forced him to enter hospice.

"I didn't know," McMillan said. "And then when he started acting weird, I'd be in the backyard with him and then he'd just come and hug me for five minutes and I'd be like, 'Hey, are you good? Why? There's something going on?' And he'd be like, 'I just love you. Go perform. Go score. I'll be watching you on game day.'"

He was trying to protect his eldest grandson.

"He did a really good job of masking the level of pain and discomfort that he was in," McMillan-Haener said.

Opa tackled doctors' appointments with the same voracity as McMillan did on the field, proudly donning his Huskies No. 11 jersey, a hoodie, a mask, a hat, a watch -- even game day shoes.

"That was just the easiest thing for him to talk about with perfect strangers, when you're trapped in a room for eight hours doing your chemo," McMillan-Haener said. " 'Hey, why are you wearing all Washington gear?' And he could easily talk about his grandson for hours to anybody who was willing to listen."

OPA'S DEATH TOOK McMillan to a dark place.

"Grief is hard to navigate," McMillan said. "It was something that I couldn't figure out how to battle. I thought I could do it on my own, but in reality, I was just pushing everybody away from me because I wanted to be alone."

It led to arguments with his mother and even his coaches at Washington.

"I was mean," McMillan said. "Sometimes they'd get on me about something and I'd be like, 'Wow, why are you getting on me?' But in reality, it was just me not trusting anybody around me."

"That was definitely a very difficult time for Jay," Bucs rookie tight end Devin Culp , who was his teammate at Washington, said. "I remember how sad he was, and he definitely was a lot more closed off than he usually is. Jay is an open book."

That's when Oma stepped in. She bought a one-way ticket to Seattle for the home opener against San Jose State in September and wound up staying for months -- sleeping on a futon with a mattress topper in the living room.

"That grandma love is different," McMillan said. "And I think everybody could say that your grandma being in the same vicinity as you -- it feels warm. It feels like there's going to be warm cookies and milk on the table ... and she's going to be there just to talk to you and help."

"I definitely think her being [there] gave her a sense of purpose and allowed her to take care of him," McMillan-Haener said. "She definitely provided some solace for him and gave him just a level of comfort that they both needed."

Oma cooked traditional German dishes like schnitzel and spatzle. The two watched games on Sundays, writing down plays and making predictions on who would win. But they also talked through their sorrow.

"Their energy is contagious towards one another," Culp said. "I feel like if she needs a little pick me up, Jay can do that for her. And if Jay needs a pick me up, she's able to do that for him."

As a redshirt sophomore in 2022, McMillan registered a career-high 1,098 receiving yards with nine touchdowns, which tied him for the most in the Pac-12. An MCL sprain to his left knee forced him to miss some action in 2023 which, along with the emergence of Rome Odunze and Ja'Lynn Polk, limited his production in 2023 to 529 receiving yards and four touchdowns.

But he produced one of the most memorable plays of the Pac-12 Championship game -- a deep crossing route that Culp said they needed for momentum.

"That's one of those moments for me where -- I'm very proud of J-Mac for that play," Culp said. "It kind of speaks volumes to the type of character and type of resilience he has as a player and as a man."

The Bucs feel it worked out in their favor, too.

"Had it not been for the injury this [past] year, I think he would've had no chance to be where we just picked him," assistant general manager John Spytek said.

"His route running is very, very fluid. We talked to several DBs throughout the [pre-draft] process. When you ask them, 'Who's the hardest cover that you've had all year?' Several of 'em mentioned him. Just because he's such a good athlete and such a good feel for running routes -- that combination makes it extremely hard."

Safety Jordan Whitehead added, "He's sneaky fast. He's deceiving when he gets up on you quick. He has a lot of good stems and movement, head-wise, in running routes. It keeps you on your toes as a defender [because] you don't know if he's going to stop or go deep."

Coach Todd Bowles said this week that McMillan is "exactly what we thought he was when he drafted him," adding, "It's not about making plays in preseason -- it's about getting aligned right, blocking the right guy, understanding what coverages they're giving you and running the right routes and being where you're supposed to be."

McMILLAN SAID HE'S thought about Opa's voice as the fatigue -- both physical and mental -- accumulated after a month of training camp practices, and when the self-doubt started to creep in.

"Sometimes I'll wake up and I'll be like, 'Shoot, I'm afraid to drop a ball today,'" McMillan said. "But then you think about my grandpa and how he always tried to improve no matter what situation he was in.

"I could hold myself accountable, and I could get better in that moment and get past that mental blockage."

There were a couple drops in a recent joint practice with the Jacksonville Jaguars and a drop that following Monday, but McMillian bounced back with contested catch against inside linebacker Lavonte David , one of the team's top defenders.

He also would go on to score a touchdown against the Jaguars that day with a catch from Mayfield working against veteran Ronald Darby in 7-on-7 drills. Then in the joint practices with the Dolphins this week, Mayfield connected with McMillan for a score that went beyond 50 yards.

"He [has] a motor, man," David said. "He goes, he understands, he takes coaching. That's something that I noticed from the first day. He looks you in the eyes, you know, 'Yes sir, no sir,' and just wants to get better.

"I see that he's one of those guys who's going [to] definitely contribute early for us. He's a playmaker. You see it out there already. Baker is finding him. He's getting open. He knows how to get open and he's real savvy for a young guy. He's definitely going to make plays for us."

McMillan goes back to all the times Opa was extra tough on him, longing for that earful now.

"He would get on my ass about some stuff. I liked it. I needed it," McMillan said.

McMillan-Haener suspects Opa's tune might be different today -- one of pride and admiration.

"It's one of those things where I wish my dad could have seen how he's progressed and evolved," McMillan-Haener, "but I don't know if he would've evolved as much without this type of adversity."