Pussy-footed Wimpism

I am proud — proud of our governor, proud of our state legislature, proud of the water-drinking lobbyists who champion business in Florida from air-conditioned offices out of the sun, including the Florida Chamber of Commerce, with such deep-pocket members as the U.S. Sugar Corp. and Florida Crystals; or Associated General Contractors; or the Florida Home Builders Association; or The Farm Bureau Federation, representing agricultural businesses that grow watermelons and other hot-weather crops, along with sugarcane.

They don’t believe in communism, socialism or pussy-footed wimpism.

In less than four short weeks, on July 1, as we round into deep summer, their latest in a series of strait-jacket regulations banning local government control in communities statewide becomes law: House Bill 433.

In this case, they’ve stopped local governments from meddling and telling business owners what to do with their workers.

Thanks to the politicians and lobbyists, the new law makes it illegal for cities or counties to pass any ordinance requiring businesses to give their outdoor workers a drink of water. Or some shade. Or to require businesses to train foremen or managers to spot signs of heat injury in workers.

Roger Williams

Miami-Dade commissioners tried that almost a year ago, last July after the legislature had put the kibosh two years running, in 2022 and 2023, on bills that would have done it statewide — make sure workers get ample water and shade on hot days.

And this year, in 2024, the legislature not only dumped any state law that won’t make workers quit whining and do the damn job they were hired to do even if they’re thirsty, but they took an additional step, a smart move. It gained some supporters for the legislation who might otherwise have balked at the notion of not ensuring worker safety in the heat.

Under the new law, cities and counties will also be prohibited from requiring fast-food restaurants and chain-store retailers relying on hourly and part-time workers, among others, to give employees their schedules two weeks in advance.

Nor can local governments awarding lucrative contracts require the contractors who win the bids for those contracts to provide a “living wage” to employees.

That just means many workers, some of them probably in need of a cool drink, may soon have their salaries cut.

Gov. DeSantis signed the bill into law on the last day of the 2024 legislative session in March, when the weather was downright pleasant. But last week, the hottest day in 114 years of May record keeping blanketed the southwest coast with 101-degree temperatures.

It was hot as hell in Palm Beach, Broward and Miami-Dade Counties, too, and everywhere else in the state.

When that happened, I began to take stock of the new law, along with a lot of other people.

But what’s a little heat? We’re trying to build homes and businesses here. We’re trying to grow some food for Americans everywhere who need their watermelons and their sugar cane products. We’re trying to build or repair some roads and bridges that don’t care if it’s hot. They’ll just collapse when they feel like it.

And here come these pussy-foot wimps like the Miami-Dade commissioners who go around whining. I’ll bet there are other whiners out there, too.

But the hardy folks in Tallahassee are not giving in. No, sir. These lobbyists and politicians understand a simple fact: If outdoor workers can’t stand the heat, they can get out of the kitchen, as our 33rd president, Harry Truman, once suggested. Yes sir, they can get another job.

Besides, business owners whose people work outside aren’t stupid. They’ll give the workers water when needed, not when they use it as an excuse to stop working. Won’t they?

In comments reported by Tallahassee based news outlets, lobbyists at the Florida Farm Bureau Federation advised their members in an information packet that “FFBF opposes (a state bill to give workers water and shade) in its current form because these matters are already regulated in other ways.”

If they were talking about federal or state law regulating these matters, they were wrong.

“Currently, there are no federal or state laws that provide heat exposure protections for outdoor workers,” a legislative analyst reported to the politicians.

Gov. DeSantis signed the bill, but he shucked off responsibility.

“It wasn’t anything that was coming from me,” he told a reporter.

“There was a lot of concern out of one county, Miami-Dade. And I don’t think it was an issue in any other part of the state.”

In fact, it’s a concern in every other part of the state because it’s hot there, too.

Other government organizations have taken the heat more seriously than the Florida legislature, it turns out. A Marine Corps field manual for medics reports that “from 1979 to 1999, there were over 8,000 heat-related deaths in the United States.” That’s more than deaths from hurricanes, tornadoes, lightning strikes and several other natural calamities combined.

To avoid joining that unhappy statistic, therefore, another USMC manual suggests, “You may need to drink between (one and three pints) of water per hour — (or as much as) three gallons per day…to prevent heat injury.”

The Marines, either in an uncharacteristically good mood or in a moment of pragmatism, have offered troops a little sugar of sorts designed to make water drinking more attractive. Maybe the Florida legislature should have done the same thing.

“If desired,” the USMC Field Manual says, “individuals may add flavoring to the water to enhance consumption.” ¦

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