Florida Man Attempts 'Tarzan Impression' in Tree and the Video Is Insane

Any time a story starts with "Florida Man," you know it's gotta be good. And look, I get the critiques; I know that the original "Florida Man" stereotype came about because Florida's transparency laws allow more crazy crimes to go on public record and make national headlines. But take it from someone who grew up around "Florida Men": even when there's no illegal activity involved, the Florida Man phenomenon is real.

Case in point: this Florida man, who wanted to impress his friends by jumping into a local freshwater spring from 60 feet above - as you do. To the man's credit, his proverbial "Tarzan impression" looked like it was going pretty well... until it didn't.

Ouch! Somehow, I don't think this is how the man envisioned his high-dive playing out. According to @abc7la , unlucky Florida man Christopher James Sikes Smalley is no stranger to performing stunts on this particular tree, but this was reportedly the first time he'd ever climbed that high. Sadly, Smalley not only picked a bad branch to challenge himself on, but he also smacked into another (ironically sturdier) branch on the long fall down. At least the freshwater spring was there to cushion his fall.

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The whole pratfall played out in such a cartoony, Looney Tunes -esque fashion that it was almost comedic... until you remember that real-life human bodies aren't built to handle cartoon physics. At least, that's what I thought, but apparently Smalley is literally "built different," as ABC 7 LA reported that he only suffered some bruising. This dude's bones were stronger than the branch he'd tried standing on! I guess you've gotta be built tough if you wanna play Tarzan!

Keeping Cool in Cypress Springs

According to KTVU FOX 2 , Smalley's literal fall from grace happened in a small swimming hole called Crystal Springs in Vernon , a small town north of Panama City. Now, this is where I got confused: there is a Crystal Springs in central Florida, but I couldn't find a Crystal Springs near Vernon, unless there's a spot colloquially named that by the locals. Unless I'm mistaken (I admit I'm no local), this place is actually most likely Cypress Springs- which, to be fair, does have plenty of crystal-clear spring water.

Though famous Florida Panhandle beaches lie less than an hour's drive away, Cypress Springs is a natural wonder in its own right. According to local tour company Cypress Springs Adventure, the spring's waters naturally maintain a constant year-round temperature of 67-68 degrees , making it a perfect place to beat the summer heat (though for obvious reasons, I wouldn't recommend diving into those cool waters from 60 feet above).

Because the land surrounding Cypress Springs is privately owned, it can only be accessed by watercraft from the nearby Holmes Creek. Whether you want to paddleboard, kayak, or boat there is up to you. Luckily, there are plenty of local rentals to choose from if you don't have your own watercraft. Once there, visitors can fish, paddle, and swim through the glassy, crystal-blue waters to their heart's content. Compared to the beautiful but busy beaches of nearby Panama City and Destin, it's a secluded, serene respite - that is, unless an unlikely Tarzan impersonator comes crashing down from the treetops.

Still, I can't fault Chris Smalley too much. If you really wanna make a splash, Cypress Springs is as good of a place to do it as any! Even if you don't have the same passion for impromptu stuntwork as Mr. Smalley, Cypress Springs is still a perfect place for a laid-back day trip in the 30A area !

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