Colliding galaxies, milkshakes and cheeseburgers

Here at Essential News, we believe in planning ahead, but sometimes adjustments must be made. So, break out your day planner and erase that anticipated collision between the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies.

I know, I know, change is annoying. That’s why you should always use a pencil when filling in your calendar. And don’t blame me. Scientists have long predicted our neighboring galaxies would T-bone one another — far in the future, sure, but schedules must be maintained! Now, they say the odds are we’ll miss one another.

Which is good news, because nothing pleasant happens in these mash-ups — stars get torn from their orbits, the shapes of galaxies are deformed and housing prices skyrocket. (Assuming there are any houses left 5 billion years from now.)

Meanwhile, here’s what you need to know about the coming week, including some Lone Ranger trivia and the all-important National Cheeseburger Day.

Let’s get started

National Video Games Day and Chocolate Milkshake Day both arrive on Sept. 12. A word of caution: If you slurp shakes while gaming, be careful not to drip on your keyboard. I googled how to clean that mess, and it involves the liberal application of alcohol, so you might as well stick with martinis in the first place.

The year’s first Friday the 13th arrives on, you guessed it, Sept. 13. The next unlucky day rolls around in December. Why is the number 13 so unlucky? Some believe it originated with the Last Supper when the 13th guest was Judas. Many people are terrified of the day, a condition called (wait while I load extra letters into the computer): Paraskevidekatriaphobia.

“Hi Ho Silver!” Here’s some cool trivia to impress your friends with: It’s the 75th anniversary of The Lone Ranger.

The actor Clayton Moore — who would become famous in the title role — was born on Sept. 14, 1914. Thirty-five years and one day later — Sept. 15, 1949 — the TV show premiered.

Tonto was played by Jay Silverheels, the first indigenous actor to portray a Native American on television. Johnny Depp reinterpreted that role in the eponymous movie in 2013, Depp’s third greatest performance after Captain Jack Sparrow and his defamation trial with ex-wife Amber Heard. (Speaking of Capt. Jack, don’t forget that Talk Like a Pirate Day is Sept. 19.)

Fire up your TV on Sept. 15 for the 76th Annual Emmy Awards. It will be live on ABC at 8 p.m. If this seems like déjà vu all over again, you’re not wrong. There were Emmy Awards earlier this year, too, because the 2023 program was delayed by the Hollywood writers’ strike. “Shogun” leads this year’s nominations.

Sept. 16 marks the anniversary of a travesty averted. The year was 1830 and the Navy was about to scrap the U.S.S. Constitution – Old Ironsides. But then a young law student named Oliver Wendell Holmes published a poem lamenting its pending demise, and the country rebelled. She’s now the world’s oldest commissioned naval warship and you can tour her next time you are in Massachusetts. Never underestimate the power of poetry.

Speaking of the Constitution, Sept. 17 is a federal holiday, Constitution Day, also known as Citizenship Day, marking the anniversary of the Founders’ signing of the document in 1787. Only slightly less significant, Sept. 17 also marks the founding of the National Football League in Canton, Ohio, in 1920. This, ultimately, led to the Miami Dolphins’ unduplicated perfect season, the greatest achievement in all sports.

Tired of high interest rates? Well, that might change on Sept. 18. The Federal Reserve Board will meet and it’s all but certain they will cut the rate. Finally!

Cheeseburger Day: America’s greatest living chef, Emeril Lagasse, once called cheeseburgers “the ultimate culinary indulgence.” And on Sept. 18, indulge yourself because it’s National Cheeseburger Day.

You can spend hours (I know) researching how to make the best burger, from meat varieties (including fat content), grill or stovetop, cheese and bun selections, etc. There’s no right answer, so make yourself happy. And while you’re cooking, here’s some hamburger trivia you can share:

¦ The name “hamburger” derives from Hamburg steaks introduced in

America by German immigrants.

¦ The first Big Mac was sold in 1968 for

49 cents.

¦ Elvis put bananas on his burgers.

¦ There’s a Hamburger Hall of Fame in

Seymour, WI.

Upcoming

He’s a superhero without superpowers. An orphan like Superman. He carries a grudge and has more money than Tony Stark. His name is Bruce Wayne, better known as Batman. And Sept. 21 is his day. ¦

J.C. Bruce is a journalist and author of The Strange Files mysteries. He’s a citizen of the United States and Florida. You can write him at EssentialNews@jcbruce.com and check out his website at EssentialNews.Media.

The post Colliding galaxies, milkshakes and cheeseburgers first appeared on Charlotte County Florida Weekly .