Everyone loves potatoes — especially in Wisconsin. Quite frankly, if you say you don’t like potatoes whatsoever, I think I may hate you a little bit. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right, I am a good judge of character. One person we don’t hate here in the great state of Wisconsin is Pewaukee legend JJ Watt. He happened to give us his definitive potato rankings!
No, he’s not ranking potato varieties. Rather, JJ Watt has ranked his top five potato preparations or ways to eat potatoes. Let’s go over the rankings...
JJ Watt’s OFFICIAL Potato Power Rankings
1. Tater Tot
JJ Watt received criticism for his take that tater tots are the best preparation of potatoes. This is the take that sparked the entire set of rankings, and it had fans calling him wrong, old and many other things.
For those who criticize this take, it’s possible you haven’t had tater tots in their best form. Not all “tots” are from the pocket of Napoleon Dynamite or soggy in your grade school’s lunch room. A pristinely fried, crunchy tot is a thing of beauty, and I also believe it has the highest ceiling of any potato preparation.
2. Waffle Fry
French fries are clearly a very popular way to eat potatoes, but Watt specified the waffle fry as his second overall choice. While this may not be my choice, I asked our local waffle fry defender Luke Reimer why he loves them so much, and he had this to say:
“Waffle Fries are the perfect combination of surface area and crispiness. With that large surface area, if they are seasoned right, every bite seems like heaven. The large area also gives you ample area for sauce or any other toppings. There is a reason that Kwik Trip sells waffle fries over other potato variations.” Can’t argue with that.
3. Potato Pancakes
This entry to the potato power rankings threw many of JJ Watt’s followers for a loop, but I think most of us in Wisconsin have had potato pancakes. If you haven’t, find yourself a Norske Nook or bang on the door of every German or Norwegian lady over 70 that you know! Potato pancakes are absolutely worthy of the number three spot, and it was a great sleeper pick by Watt.
Potato pancakes are essentially hash browns that are bound together with egg and flour, then cooked on a griddle. Get some with a bit of applesauce on the side.
4. Hash Browns
Okay… this pick is a little bit redundant (Don't hurt me, JJ). Again, it feels like potato pancakes could’ve served as JJ Watt’s hash brown fix, but let’s hear him out. McDonald’s hash browns obviously slap, and cheesy hash browns will always steal the show at every Wisconsin family function, so maybe he’s onto something.
5. Mashed Potatoes
Do you love America? If you do, then you better love mashed potatoes as well. This is a low-ceiling, high-floor pick, but mashed potatoes almost always get the job done. You can dress them up with some garlic or get some mashed skin-on reds if you’re feeling fancy. Hell, if you’re balling on a budget, you could complete a meal with some instant mash and all will still be A-OK.
I’m happy to see mashed potatoes in the rankings, but even happier Watt didn’t make the basic opinion of putting them higher.
What do you think of JJ Watt’s potato rankings? Did he nail the top five ways to eat potatoes, or do you think there were some snubbed spuds? Share this article and let us know!
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